I'm scared and confused

[Tinah1968]

dw Thanks a lot... I know that i will be okay but if you guys don't hear from me don't worry i will try to log in as soon as i can

[Wenchie58]

We will worry, but if you need rest...REST. We have patience and understanding.  Good Luck!

[Pam]

Tinah I was in your shoes 3 wks ago. The first day I was petrified! But you know there were so many people I had to talk to it was over before I knew it. My husband sits in the wating room the entire time. He won't leave. They do not allow visiters.
They gave me a script for lidocaine and I have a c0-pay. I can't feel the sticks just a little preasure and I don't look.
Tomorrow they are going up a needle size and increasing the speed so I'm a little nervous about that. If you can keep a good attitude that will help. I look around and a lot of the people in the center are in much worse shape than I am. I already feel better. My  appetite  is back and I have the enery to do a lot more things.
Pam

[st789]

Yeap, questions can be hard to come by when u. r. overwhelm with what is going on.

Take a good care of yourself.

[pelagia]

If you start feeling a little afraid, just close your eyes and think of your IHD family! 

[breezysummerday]

         

                     

[Hanify]

And don't be afraid to pm people who are going through what you are.  We're all here to support you.  It will really help to talk to peopl who are walking the walk as it were.  Good luck.

[twirl]

I wish I knew where this is located -
you should read Rerun's first experience with dialysis -
it is a treasure -
you will laugh and cry at the same time -

SLUFF - IF YOU ARE READING THIS PLEASE FIND WHERE RERUN POSTS ABOUT HER FIRST DIALYSIS
         - I KNOW THE MEMBERS HERE WOULD APPRECIATE IT AND THANKS
DEAR SWEET SLUFF - PLEASE POST THE WAY TO GET TO THE SITE HERE

[keith]

its scary 4us all when we 1st start. but u have a great big family dats here 4 u ne time

[Tinah1968]

Thanks again everyone My family doesn't understand and they are having a hard time with this. I am the youngest of 6 children and both my parents have passed away so they all feel like "Why me" they don't know what to expect. I am trying to be strong for them and tell them it will be fine. I told them about IHD and told them that if they had questions to ask.. 

[keith]

u have da support of everybody on ihd we all kno how u feel  n if u need s shoulder 2 we are here n if u jus need 2 we r here

[Bajanne]

Girl, as many of the others have said, I was where you are now.  One of the things that got me through was my new IHD family.  Epoman and the others really prepared me for what was coming and helped me through.  You know that we are with you all the way. 
Things are almost never are terrible as we feel they will be.  You will make it through this as well.  Some day you will be encouraging some other scared and confused IHD newbie!

They gave me the EMLA cream, but I used to forget it until just before I was leaving home and that was too late, since it should be on about an hour before.
I used to get Lidocaine, but after a time I got tired of the stings and preferred to have one sharp pain that would cease after a time.

Let us know how you are doing.

[Tinah1968]

Thanks keith and bajanne   I was told that after the first day i will be really tired and I probably not feeling well. Since I am not sure what to expect I will take my Laptop with me and try to log in when I get to my sisters house. They said that I couldn't drive myself the first few times. So I will have my sister pick me up and I will go stay with her for the evening. I hope that I do well I really do...  i hope to be as supportive and kind when a newbie asks how it will feel in a few months.  Thanks again Everyone your hungs and well wishes helped me make it through this far... 

[BobN]

Tinah, just happened to check in from work.

Echoing what many others have said, the anticipationof your first treatment is worse than the actual treatment.

I've found that the key to making the treatment time go by fast is to keep busy.

(No, not with plotting revenge on the person who just stuck you with those gigantic needles, although you can come up with some pretty creative ideas with all that free time!)

My two favorite pastimes are reading and...here's an unusual one...sodoku puzzles.

The more difficult ones can take some time, and you're so focused on the puzzle, that before you know it, a chunk of time has been taken up.

Just be aware that there is one danger.  The puzzle books can cause harm if you throw them across the room.

Keep your chin up sweetheart.  We'll all be thinking about you.

If you can find a reason to laugh, or even smile - do it.  I guarantee you'll feel better.

Take care and let us know how you do.

[dwcrawford]

Hi Tinah, I just go home from my 8th  session at Davita.  You may be tired after the first  few sessions but you won't be totally out of it.  I was able to drive myself from the beginning.  Its best if you don't have to but you probably could if necessary.  Probably you'll  sleep after the first session and all the way up to the second one.

[Hanify]

My two favorite pastimes are reading and...here's an unusual one...sodoku puzzles.

Sudoku!!  I can't do them now - let alone when I was first doing dialysis ha ha.  I really could only handle an ipod.  Too tired for anything else at first.  Will be thinking of you Friday.

[paris]

Tinah,  Sometimes I just want someone to say that I am valid in my nervousness.  Anytime we do something new, we are a little anxious. Tomorrow is my first IVIG infusion, then next week Rituxin.   I have had iron infusions, so I know what to expect. But, until I get through tomorrow, I will be a little nervous.   Once you get throught the first day, you at least will know what to expect and how you feel.  You know you will be in my thoughts all day Friday and I will be looking for your posts.  Wenchie is right, we will worry, because we love you   

[Tinah1968]

I have better today with all i have been reading. I am not sure how i will feel tomorrow befor the test but we will see... Thanks again Everyone for rverything.. 

[twirl]

you will make us proud
I know you will -
you can do it

[Tinah1968]

I will do my best....

[ODAT]

Hi Tinah, my mom is 76 and went in for knee replacement. Two days later at 11:00am, we were told she needed to start dialysis at 1:00pm that day. We knew it might happen but the anxiety is still there. She's had her graft for over 6 months. She said after her first treatment that it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

Now she is doing so well mentally and physically. Looking forward to her continued improvement.

Hugs for you   

[Tinah1968]

  Thank you ODAT... I really appreciate the support... I will try to log in if not I will make a phone call and let you guys know how it went... I will try my best to keep my chin up.  Thanks Guys. I am heading home now.

[hurlock1]

I was so afraid of dialysis that I thought that my life was over. I thought that there would be smells that I couldn't stand. I was wondering whether I would be able to stand sitting in my chair for 5 hr. I was afraid of the people in the other chairs. I thought that the neph was in cahoots with the centers and it was some kind of scam. and a million other paranoia that I could manufacture. But now after a year on dialysis, I go and sit in my chair and watch movies, write one fingered on the I Hate dialysis blog, or whatever, sometimes I just listen to my mp3 player and watch the people, and watch the caregivers zip around and I appreciate the skills that dialysis techs and nurses have. Don't be afraid. It's just dialysis. It's not entirely unpleasant. You gotta do what you gotta do. It's alright. Keep the faith. It's your choice as to whether you hate it or tolerate it. I tell my grandchildren when they're throwing a fit, "Well, you know you gotta get over it sometime, why not get over it now?" It works about half the time. Just don't be afraid until you've got something to be afraid of.

[kitkatz]

Twirlie, Here is Rerun's descriptions of her first few days on dialysis. I am charging you a dollar for a research fee. 

http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=174.msg799#msg799

[dwcrawford]

Tinah is home from dialysis.  It wasn't as bad as she  had imagined.  She won't log on tonight because (of course) she just wants to eat and go to sleep.  The needles hurt.  She is staying at her sister's house tonight.