Am I just talking to the walls?

[okarol]

Ah HA! So you're the one paris... you're the woman that makes it looks like we can "do it all!" Well, knock it off! 

[willieandwinnie]

Ah HA! So you're the one paris... you're the woman that makes it looks like we can "do it all!" Well, knock it off! 

What okarol said. 

[dwcrawford]

Men, men, men!  Don't you all just wish we'd all move to some other planet?

[willieandwinnie]

Men, men, men!  Don't you all just wish we'd all move to some other planet?

     I use to say that a woman without a man was like a fish without a bicycle.     

[greco02]

OMG....Paris, are you my twin?  I can't wait to get home and see how mad he is at me for calling his shrink and ratting him out about not taking his meds.   Should be fun.  Eggshells, walked a hundred miles on them.  Carrying on, pretending all is well....it gets old.   He is our primary cook.  He does most of the housework.   I have a  8-5 job so I have an escape.  He does canine volunteering 3 days a week and wears his butt out.  Then we veg in front of the TV and don't communicate.  Gotta love it.

I guess I may be jumping the gun on the dialysis possibilities but he sure has the other crabby I hate live symptoms.   

[paris]

As much as we complain --- what would we do without you guys?   

[dwcrawford]

Men, men, men!  Don't you all just wish we'd all move to some other planet?

     I use to say that a woman without a man was like a fish without a bicycle.     

HEHE.... what in the world does this mean?

[Wenchie58]

Hmmmm funny that all the women understand it, eh?    

[okarol]

Bwahahaha! 

[paris]

Hmmmm funny that all the women understand it, eh?    

DW,if you  have to ask, then you are a guy!             

[kitkatz]

Next time you decide to have a Pity Party please invite me.  I am great at those kind of parties! 

[paddbear0000]

Paris - just know you are not alone.  My husband was so clueless when I was doing cancer treatments and if possible - even more clueless through my kidney failure journey.  He didn't understand why I was tired ALL the time - "didn't any of those pills help?"  He did participate in the heavy lifting of the PD supplies that came every other week.  For some reason I find that if a man can't just "fix it" many of them go into a denial thing.  I don't know.   

I just keep trying to explain...... and explain.... and explain......

 

Hmmm...I always assumed that was "an engineer thing"! my husband's an engineer and so are all of his friends. They are all like that. Paris, you are not alone. I  have tried to get my husband to read books about the subject, but that never worked out. I even got him to join IHD, but he posted like 8 times and has not been back since. I don't think he really read much on here either. He is more interested in the computer and playing his guitar. I suppose that's his way of relieving stress lately, but it drives me crazy!

[glitter]

   This thread just makes me cry- my husband would never read anything about his condition, he would not learn his diet, he would not come here to read anything, he took his meds the way he thought was best, to hell with the Dr., he drank what fluid 'he could handle'- he used to tell me 'I learned it- so he did not have to'. And look where that got us! 
   I wish he would have been proactive in his care. I am so glad you all ARE, and I wish your family members were more supportive.
   One thing I did do for him, that he would at least listen to, I used to read your posts out loud to him.
I figured he could learn from the multitude I read to him, so at least he wouldn't feel so alone in his condition.
   

[dwcrawford]

To Paris, Wenchie, Willieandwinnie...
No matter what you say, "a fish can't ride a bike and wouldn't even need one".  That makes absolutely no sense.

haha  (i just figured it out).  Now what would I call thaat?  Is BS appropriate?

[paddbear0000]

Oh glitter! I'm so sorry to hear that! Thank goodness he at least had you for as long as he did.   

[hurlock1]

Paris, my wife is a nurse. but she works in the '" eye surgury center" . She doesn't know very much about dialysis. When she makes dinner, she always puts the wrong things in. She makes "healthy choice" dinners. Too much salt tasteless garbage.  She goes to the Casno and loses money, and leaves me sitting til' sometimes 10:oo pm. but I love her.

[Stacy Without An E]

It makes me sad to hear all these stories about spouses who are uninvolved, unconcerned and, I'm sorry, don't seem to care.

I'm on my own, so I don't have that frustration.  After reading these stories, I think it would make the whole process that much more difficult.

[paris]

To my husbands defense,  he does care. It is just overwhelming and I think it is easier to not think about.  I will always be the caregiver in our family, even though I am the one with kidney disease.  I get frustrated some days      My role was established years ago and I am having a hard time changing the definition of who I am.    The person (me) who did everything, planned all events, cooked every meal, paid bills, cleaned, taught school and now does little of that.   And we have been married  FOREVER  so, maybe his age has something to do with accepting change.  Men do become "grumpy old men" at some point         Sorry, men, you know we still love you      IHD gives me a safe place to complain without upsetting my family----and you guys know how I feel, so you get it.

[David13]

To my husbands defense,  he does care. It is just overwhelming and I think it is easier to not think about.  I will always be the caregiver in our family, even though I am the one with kidney disease.  I get frustrated some days      My role was established years ago and I am having a hard time changing the definition of who I am.    The person (me) who did everything, planned all events, cooked every meal, paid bills, cleaned, taught school and now does little of that.   And we have been married  FOREVER  so, maybe his age has something to do with accepting change.  Men do become "grumpy old men" at some point         Sorry, men, you know we still love you      IHD gives me a safe place to complain without upsetting my family----and you guys know how I feel, so you get it.

 We do know, Paris, and we care about you!  I am so glad you are proactive regarding your own health.  Although support from family and friend is very important, in the end, that is what really matters.  And we want you around with us for a long, long, long time!   

[MandaMe1986]

It makes me sad to hear all these stories about spouses who are uninvolved, unconcerned and, I'm sorry, don't seem to care.

I'm on my own, so I don't have that frustration.  After reading these stories, I think it would make the whole process that much more difficult.

You know Stacy sometimes I feel the same way.  I am 23 and I like to think that I don't need anyone in my life.  And I don't, but my children do.  I could take care of them on my own, but it would be so much harder on them. And Matthew loves me, and is a wonderful father.   I just think with everything you have to take the good and the bad.  Yes it dose add extra stress, but most of the time it is worth it.

[hurlock1]

To my husbands defense,  he does care. It is just overwhelming and I think it is easier to not think about.  I will always be the caregiver in our family, even though I am the one with kidney disease.  I get frustrated some days      My role was established years ago and I am having a hard time changing the definition of who I am.    The person (me) who did everything, planned all events, cooked every meal, paid bills, cleaned, taught school and now does little of that.   And we have been married  FOREVER  so, maybe his age has something to do with accepting change.  Men do become "grumpy old men" at some point         Sorry, men, you know we still love you      IHD gives me a safe place to complain without upsetting my family----and you guys know how I feel, so you get it.

TO MY WIFE'S DEFENSE, she does care. It's just overwhelming for her because she' got problems of her own. She's always been the bread winner in our family and lately she's had to deal with a back injury - surgery and dentures. We've only been married 20 yrs, but it seems like forever. People do become grumpy old people,  I don't really see that there is that much difference between men and women, other than plumbing. IHD is just where I live while my wife is out gambling, or at work.

[paris]

We seem to be in the same boat, Hurlock!!  We are family here, and it is nice to have each other, especially because we all know.  Next time your wife goes out at night, check the chat room and see if anyone is there.  We have a pretty good time there most nights.   We can let off steam, gripe, but mostly we make each other laugh.   Come and join us--usually around 9 east coast time people start gathering.  Look forward to seeing you there.   


And I can be really grumpy some days   

[rocker]

Hmmm...I always assumed that was "an engineer thing"! my husband's an engineer and so are all of his friends.

Nope, nope, not an engineer thing.  Hubby and I are both engineers.  But I am the one who follows most of the details.  When he is in the hospital, I had to make a standing rule that if a doctor enters the room and I am not there, he is to call me and put the phone on speaker so I can hear what is said.

A typical hospital conversation before the rule:

Me - Hey honey, I'm back.  Did any doctors come in while I was out?
Him - No.  Just some nurse.
Me - Uh huh.  What did this nurse look like?
Him -  [description]
Me - Ok, that was actually the nephrologist.  What did he say?
Him - Blah blah blah.  Nothing, really.

[two hours later we'll be chatting]
Me - I've been reading about this.  I'm really surprised no one has asked about your [symptom].
Him - Oh yeah, that nurse guy said something about that.
Me - Nephrologist.  What did he say?
Him - I don't really remember.
Me - Well, I wonder why he didn't recommend [medication] for [symptom], I've seen where they've had really good results with that.
Him - Oh, yeah, that sounds familiar.  I guess he said he was prescribing that for me or something. Maybe.

 

You get the idea.

[paris]

Great post, rocker!!  You made me laugh   

[paddbear0000]

To my husbands defense,  he does care. It is just overwhelming and I think it is easier to not think about.  I will always be the caregiver in our family, even though I am the one with kidney disease. 

Ditto for mine!

Hmmm...I always assumed that was "an engineer thing"! my husband's an engineer and so are all of his friends.

Nope, nope, not an engineer thing.  Hubby and I are both engineers.  But I am the one who follows most of the details.  When he is in the hospital, I had to make a standing rule that if a doctor enters the room and I am not there, he is to call me and put the phone on speaker so I can hear what is said.

A typical hospital conversation before the rule:

Me - Hey honey, I'm back.  Did any doctors come in while I was out?
Him - No.  Just some nurse.
Me - Uh huh.  What did this nurse look like?
Him -  [description]
Me - Ok, that was actually the nephrologist.  What did he say?
Him - Blah blah blah.  Nothing, really.

[two hours later we'll be chatting]
Me - I've been reading about this.  I'm really surprised no one has asked about your [symptom].
Him - Oh yeah, that nurse guy said something about that.
Me - Nephrologist.  What did he say?
Him - I don't really remember.
Me - Well, I wonder why he didn't recommend [medication] for [symptom], I've seen where they've had really good results with that.
Him - Oh, yeah, that sounds familiar.  I guess he said he was prescribing that for me or something. Maybe.

 

You get the idea.

Not paying attention to medical things is just a male thing!