Bringing back Things to do While on Dialysis Thread

[twirl]

maybe it is b/c you do not stay for over 4 hours
and sometimes it is do do

[David13]

maybe it is b/c you do not stay for over 4 hours
and sometimes it is do do

       

[RichardMEL]

Our unit disconnects people to go to the toilet. I do realise that it's hard for some people but can't you go beforehand since you know you'll be on for 4-5 hours??
Unfortunately I've also witnessed(and smelled) those that didn't make it. not fun.

As for sleepwalking which someone mentioned way up above... I've SEEN this... more than once... luckily the person in question had been disconnected when he went for his walkies. The even more scary part was when he walked out of the hospital and across the road... totally disregarding traffic (being asleep and all). They had to send security after him to get him back to try and wake him up. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I don't think I would have ever believed it.

[Lucinda]

Our unit disconnects people to go to the toilet. I do realise that it's hard for some people but can't you go beforehand since you know you'll be on for 4-5 hours??

Hey Darling, you are being a bit tough.  What about those who still need to go for a pee?  There is no way that I could go five hours without going to the bathroom!!  At the moment I get up about six times a night with an average of six hours sleep! 

[twirl]

when I first started D I had to go two hours into the treatment
and I would pee alot
then gradually, I did not pee much
I wish I still had to go
it was so much easier with fluid restrictions
actually, at that time I had no restrictions
the longer on D; the less you P

[RichardMEL]

Well Lucinda & I discussed this issue in person yesterday The issue about peeing less when on dialysis definitely was raised.. specially in relation to Lucinda's having to go through the night - which is something Charee and I both had prior to starting and when we started on D that situation dried right up (pun intended) and was no longer a bother. Even I still pee a bit and can go the 5 hours plus without bother.. I guess everyone's different though. I have though seen people come in, get hooked up and 30 mins later want off to go pee... that just seems like a thoughtless lack of planning more than anything else. IMHO

[Gramapat]

I have a colostomy and a urostomy.  I produce a little less urine since I've been on dialysis this past year.  I've never had to ask to be taken off to empty my urine bag.    Now my colostomy is a different story.  I'm on for 3 hours and one session I had to ask to be taken off 3 times.  I was embarrassed asking to use the restroom so many times but I couldn't help it.  I have no control over when or how many times my bag will fill.  None of the techs have ever complained about having to take me off. 

[okarol]

 

[bette1]

I've been taking my daughters nintindo ds and playing video games.  It really makes the time go fast.  I guess I'm just a big kid.

[twirl]

after the no eating rule -
I have been counting the number of patients I see "sneak" eating
I am in a very large unit

[okarol]

after the no eating rule -
I have been counting the number of patients I see "sneak" eating
I am in a very large unit

I think you should organize - everyone bring in a complete meal, synchronize your watches at at the exact same moment whip 'em out and eat! Also, set up a hidden camera so I can see what happens! I think the no eating is nuts, personally!

[RichardMEL]

frak me! It seems that "sneak eating" is more bloody dangerous than the unit just allowing people to eat. In people's eagnerness to sneak a snack in you can just see it causing problems in one way or another.. and let's say someone does have some sort of reaction or choke or something with what they're eating I think it would be better than staff KNEW they were doing it than NOT (not to mention the act of secreting food, then reaching in to places to dig it out etc could also cause it's own kind of issue).

My brain screams out BAD KARMA at the whole idea !

[twirl]

I have permission to sneak eat ---- I have told no patients at dialysis --- Benedict Arnold (me)
as I understand from one of the nurses on ihd -- I am a "hipper" -- no, it is not hip size -- it is someone with good insurance -- they were afraid I might go to another clinic --- I "sneak" eat but do not worry about getting caught -- yes, I am a    for doing this ----- I sneak eat easy foods to sneak which are unhealthy -- other patients do the same thing --- I tried going without eating but I got so sick at my stomach -- there may be other hippers who have been given permission to eat --- but the patients I know and talk to do not have permission --- I know, I am ashamed of this -- I bring two string cheeses -
crackers and hot tea -- I used to bring fruits and baked chicken or tuna and fruit - one patient used to bring chicken her husband grilled -- now she brings little pieces of candy or grapes and candy

[Beth35]

Wow, I used to eat on dialysis all of the time.  Both at the hospital unit and the out patient unit.  In fact at the hospital my Grandma would come about two hours in with a whole meal.  She would go to Friendly's and get me chicken fingers and a milkshake.  Then an hour later she would bring me candy to eat because my mouth always got that bad taste after being on the machine for a while.  Oh, I HATED that taste. 

Why don't they allow you to eat?

[JasonEb]

To yank this thread a bit back onto topic...

This one is more of a pre-dialysis entertainment...Just before you walk into your unit, call the front desk and tell them you decided to skip dialysis today.  As they try to argue with you to come, walk inside while still talking on your phone to them.

~Tell everyone, "It's good for you to see me today", "I don't care what everybody else here says...you're all right", or "Exactly when did this job suck the soul out of you?"

~When they give you a thermometer (we use the ear ones), palm it away from view.  When the tech turns back to you wondering where it is, pretend to pull it out of the back of your pants and hand it to them.

~Continually ask, "When will the dessert tray be rolled around?"

~When the in-house nephs or medical directors show visitors around, begin bawling and wailing about how awful this is, and please, don't beat me again!

~Try to get a chorus of "Row, row, row your boat" going.

~When a nurse makes a phone call (you have to have a seat close to the nurse's station for this one...which I do) yell really loudly, "Get off the phone and come back to bed, darling!"

~I've tried convincing the staff to wear Lazer Tag sensors and give us patients the guns...no luck so far.

On a personal note, I used to have this machine that would do this rhythmic, extremely high-pitched squeak which would give me a horrible headache.  I asked repeatedly for weeks for them to move this machine elsewhere (or to fix it...pshyeah, right) to no avail.  So one day, for my entire treatment, I yelled "SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK" in perfect rhythm  to the machine.  Needless to say, my next treatment, the machine was moved far away, and they make sure never to put a squeaky one next to me.

[RichardMEL]

lol Jason!!! I feel your squeak pain!!! For the past 3 or 4 sessions in a row I've been given "squeaky!" I did the squeak thing too but it annoyed me almost as much as it annoyed them so I quit. Now I just tell them it's the "Evil" machine and I'm bringing a hammer in next time to fix it permanently!!!! OMG it's so irritating!!

I like the desert trolley suggestion - that's a good one. Sometimes when they ask if I want a cup of tea or coffee I make this whole convoluted order like "Yeah I'd like a low fat soy decaf macciato with 2 marshmallows and a dash of hazelnut"

Sometimes when they refill the bicarb I ask them if they're refilling my vodka supply....

[kitkatz]

You made me laugh with those suggestions.

[Beth35]

HA HA!  So funny Jason!  LOVE it!

[David13]

Jason, I love your "Squeak, Squeak, Squeak" technique. 

Sometimes, as they say, the squeaky wheel gets the oil!   

[Jess21]

i actually had a tech tell me she was getting tired when working with my arm.  well she did have to move my needle every like 2 mins or the machine beeped.  I wasn't doing anything, my arm was just being annoying that day, but it was fun to make em work for their money!    well, of course it wasn't fun when another tech came at me with sharps to get the machine to shut up.  buuut the tech still had to keep moving the needle.

[Stacy Without An E]

Flirt with Giggly Princess Tech for fifteen minutes.

Flirt with Raven Haired Tech for twenty minutes.

Flirt with Smiley Blond Tech for twenty-five minutes.

Flirt with Hot LIbrarian Nurse for ten minutes.

Be seen by doctor for twelve seconds.

Be talked down to by Nurtritionist for two minutes.

Stare at Petite Neckish Patient on and off for twenty minutes.

After all of that fine Dialysis entertainment, since I'm a two hour run, treatment over.

[twirl]

two hours   but how many times a week do you run

did Richard Mel tell you about your first 4 things to do 

[kidneysblowingchunks]

The machines where I go have all sorts of alarms on them. I am bringing in my alarm clock that has similar sounds. Set off one of my alarms when the tech goes by.

Any NCIS watchers out there? Abby's farting hippo.

To yank this thread a bit back onto topic...

This one is more of a pre-dialysis entertainment...Just before you walk into your unit, call the front desk and tell them you decided to skip dialysis today.  As they try to argue with you to come, walk inside while still talking on your phone to them.

~Tell everyone, "It's good for you to see me today", "I don't care what everybody else here says...you're all right", or "Exactly when did this job suck the soul out of you?"

~When they give you a thermometer (we use the ear ones), palm it away from view.  When the tech turns back to you wondering where it is, pretend to pull it out of the back of your pants and hand it to them.

~Continually ask, "When will the dessert tray be rolled around?"

~When the in-house nephs or medical directors show visitors around, begin bawling and wailing about how awful this is, and please, don't beat me again!

~Try to get a chorus of "Row, row, row your boat" going.

~When a nurse makes a phone call (you have to have a seat close to the nurse's station for this one...which I do) yell really loudly, "Get off the phone and come back to bed, darling!"

~I've tried convincing the staff to wear Lazer Tag sensors and give us patients the guns...no luck so far.

On a personal note, I used to have this machine that would do this rhythmic, extremely high-pitched squeak which would give me a horrible headache.  I asked repeatedly for weeks for them to move this machine elsewhere (or to fix it...pshyeah, right) to no avail.  So one day, for my entire treatment, I yelled "SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK" in perfect rhythm  to the machine.  Needless to say, my next treatment, the machine was moved far away, and they make sure never to put a squeaky one next to me.

[RichardMEL]

two hours   but how many times a week do you run

did Richard Mel tell you about your first 4 things to do 

wow I got to this one late!! All I can say we don't have cute nurses to perve at or flirt with!!! Unfortunately they moved the only hot patient to a satellite unit about two years ago. d'oh!!!!

Stacy doesn't need me to cramp his style anyway!!!

[bette1]

How about punching the tech everytime they stick you and ask if it hurts... Let's see if this hurts.