Marvin's brother has cancer

[pelagia]

I am sorry for all you are dealing with Petey. 

I was not aware that there is a possible genetic component to pancreatic cancer.  I do not think my husband's family is aware of this either.  My husband's aunt died of pancreatic cancer fall 2007.  I hope it will not be PKD from one side of the family and pancreatic cancer from the other...      My son is just beginning to grapple with the notion that he could have PKD.  My husband first had high blood pressure at 25 and his father first had high blood pressure at 23.  Will is now 18 1/2.  These genetic diseases feel like ticking time bombs.

I just did a quick web search and found one site that says about 10% of pancreatic cancer appears to be genetic.  That's a pretty small percentage, I guess.

Petey, I know this is a lot to ask, but sometime later on when you are feeling stronger, if you will let me know if you learn something that you can share - a website with good info, or any other information on the possible genetic links of this disease... thank you 

I have to say though that right now I am sitting here losing it.   
 

 

[rose1999]

I'll be sending extra love your way over the next 2 very difficult days 

[Chris]

Thank You for replying Petey and you didn't have to. I'm glad that they will tes frequently.

Why don't you take a rest from the pc, get some rest and spend some time with Marvin. You both have been running ragged lately and deserve a break of some kind. You need some me time even though we are grateful and saddened by your updates.

[petey]

Actually, searching around on the internet and coming here is a type of therapy for me.  We're still squeezing in Marvin's home hemo treatments every day, so I'm "housebound" during that three hours -- and there's only so many times you can mop a kitchen floor in one day.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers.

[kidney4traci]

Prayers to you and your family.  So much to deal with.  Sorry Petey, you and Marvin deserve a break.   Thankfully you have eachother. 

[willieandwinnie]

  petey and Marvin. We are thinking abou you all. 

[petey]

It's been a tough week, and we're still struggling.  We had planned a "benefit" barbecue day for Buddy for tomorrow (Jan. 17) because Buddy's had so many medical bills (pitiful insurance, too).  When we planned it, we were hoping Buddy could come and have a chance to visit with all of his friends.  Now that he's gone, we're still going forward with it (he had no life insurance, and funerals are expensive).  Marvin's been working all week to get everything lined up for that.  Even as we speak, there are about 20 volunteers at our town's ballfield cooking pigs to sell plates tomorrow.  (Marvin, Buddy, and I are all heavily involved in the youth baseball organization around here.)  We're hoping for a good crowd.  Marvin came home so we could do a treatment this afternoon after I got home from school, but we're both going back to the baseball park tonight.

So far, Marvin has gotten everything donated -- pigs, slaw, baked beans, tea, rolls, cakes, pies, plates, cup, ice, etc.  The volunteers who coach in my youth baseball league are doing all the cooking and serving.  These are wonderful people, and I couldn't love them more if they were my brothers and sisters.  We're hoping to get "donations" for the barbecue plates, and all the proceeds will go to Buddy's children to pay off his medical and funeral bills.

[kidney4traci]

What a wonderful way to support you, these people sound like angels and you must live near Mayberry (Andy Griffin)  ...    Hugs to you and Marvin.

[G-Ma]

 

[willieandwinnie]

petey,  you and Marvin are just such wonderful people. I can't imagine going through a death and then having to deal with financial issue too. Bless your hearts and I hope tomorrow brings much need funds. Please give Marvin a big  from me and let us know how it goes. We will all be thinking about you. 

[pelagia]

You obviously have some fans in your community.  Of course!  Do unto others...

[glitter]

sounds like its a great testament to what a good guy he was, I'm sorry for your loss.

[willieandwinnie]

  Tell us how yesterday went petey. 

[petey]

The fund-raiser day we had yesterday for Buddy (Marvin's brother) was phenomenal !   

First of all, let me set the scene.  We live in a little tiny town (two stoplights and about 750 residents).  Here, everybody knows everybody, and most people are kin one way or another to most everybody else.  Marvin's family is well-known in the community for the volunteer work we all do in various organizations and churches.

Marvin had barbecue, slaw, baked beans, rolls, plates, cups, ice, tea, desserts, etc. donated by businesses and individuals (lots of "old" ladies in town baked cakes), and our goal was to provide 500 plates (asking for a $6 donation for each plate).  We sold out of everything (and even had to go buy more plastic silverware sets, more baked beans, and more rolls).  We cooked 840 pounds of barbecue and barbecued 200 chicken quarters.  When the day was over, we had sold almost 900 plates and raised a little over $12,000.

Buddy, Marvin, and I have volunteered for years and years in the "Dixie Youth Baseball" program (youth baseball organization -- run entirely by volunteers in 11 southern states -- similar to "Little League").  We held the benefit day at our ball park, and the men and women who coach in our little town with me and Marvin cooked, served, planned, and prepared everything.  Marvin's other family members came in and helped our baseball group pull everything off.  We had not only local people come, but lots of Dixie Youth "family" from various parts of the state came, too.  It was a wonderful day, and we were so humbled by the generosity of our friends who came to support the event.  Those of us who "worked" were tired, but we had a good time -- lots of laughs and memories shared.

Buddy's children now have enough funds to pay off his medical bills, his funeral bill, and even buy a marker for his grave.  They cried and cried when they saw how many people came and helped them out.  Buddy --- who was a "people person" -- would have been thrilled if he could have been there to talk to everybody.  He loved all people, and while we knew he was well-thought-of, we had no idea that it would be that big and that successful.

I know there are some mean, rotten people in this world, but yesterday, my faith in humanity was strengthened even more.  There really are so many good, kind people in this world, and I'm blessed that I know a lot of them.

[pelagia]

 

[willieandwinnie]

Oh petey, that is just wonderful. I thought about you a lot yesterday. That sounds like the kind of place I would like to live. I'm sure that Buddy is smiling down at everyone for taking care of his family. Bless you and Marvin for pulling all of that off on such short notice. 

[kitkatz]

That was a superb memorial to Buddy. I bet he was there with you in spirit enjoying every minute of it!

[rose1999]

Marsha, you and Marvin are such special people.  What a wonderful tribute to Buddy and what a fantastic warm feeling you must have to know that Buddy was so highly thought of by so many people.  Kit is right, Buddy was there enjoying it all.   

[okarol]

It's inspiring to hear your story and how a community came together. It's special tribute to Buddy and his family.

[lola]

Petey how AWESOME when going threw a crisis worrying about money is the last thing someone should have to deal with and now because of Marvin and all the great people his kids won't have to wonder how to pay for things. 

[thegrammalady]

petey, i truly believe that while there may be mean rotten people in this world, they are really few and far between. we just hear about them. a wonderful story like the results of your bar-b-que rarely makes the nightly news. i'm glad it was such a success. what a wonderful memory for buddy's family to have. a fabulous testament to the goodness in all of us.

[G-Ma]

Yesterday was a great testimony to Marvin's family including you and I'm sure Buddy was there with everyone too.  You are blessed.
Ann

[willieandwinnie]

  petey, how is Walt doing? We need an update. How are you and Marvin holding up? 

[petey]

Thanks for asking, willieandwinnie.  Walt seems to be holding his own.  The incision is slow to heal (still packing after two months), and he's not gaining any weight (in fact, he's lost some).  To me, he still doesn't "look good" (color in face is still yellow some, ashy some, and pale some).  However, he says he's feeling stronger every day.  It's been a long, uphill battle.  Poor fella!  But, he has a good, optimistic attitude about it all.

We are all struggling with the loss of Marvin's other brother, Buddy.  Buddy was the "daddy" in the family (though he was the second oldest).  Since Marvin's dad died when Marvin was a little boy, Buddy took over that role for all of the others (but especially Marvin).  Every Father's Day, I would get something for Buddy from Marvin and me.  Since I didn't know Marvin's dad, I used to tell Buddy that he was the only father-in-law I had known.  We miss him terribly.

The rest of the family has started treating Marvin like the "daddy" now -- and that's so weird.  The other five siblings are close in age (all five born within about seven years), and Marvin came along eight years after the fifth one.  (He was definitely a surprise baby -- his mom was 40 and his dad 52.)  Marvin has always, always been the BABY -- and now, they're looking to him to lead the family.  So far, Marvin is being a good "daddy" and calls all the others several times a day, makes sure they're okay, visits them every time he gets a chance.  Marvin was also the one Buddy's grown children looked to to make decisions during the funeral; he has been so good to his niece and nephew.  Of course, Marvin says he's just "paying back" to them how good Buddy was to him.

I'm the youngest in my family, and I'm also eight years younger than Marvin (so I'm the age of several of his nieces and nephews).  I always thought that I'd like to "last" longer than all the others, but I don't think so any more.  It's so hard when you lose one.  Marvin has declared that he'll out-live all the rest (even me!), and he probably will.

[pelagia]

Clearly these are difficult times for you and Marvin and the family, but still Petey, I can tell you that you are lucky to have so much love in your family.  I hope Walt continues to get stronger and that his wound will heal a little more quickly as his strength grows.