Marvin's brother has cancer

[pelagia]

Petey - you are an angel and a strong one at that!  I hope 2009 brings better health for Marvin's family. 

[petey]

The last week or so has been a blur at our house.  Marvin's brother Walt (surgery on Dec. 8 to remove part of stomach, part of pancreas, part of intestines, and all of gallbladder -- cancer found) is improving slowly.  He still has an open wound and is still losing weight (lost about 10 pounds since the surgery -- is down to about 140 pounds now).  He is, however, up and moving around some, so that's good.  I am very concerned -- even though the surgeon said she thought she got it all, I'm not convinced.  I would think that he would be putting back on weight -- or at least holding steady.  He had a feeding tube and was eating by mouth for four weeks.  They took the feeding tube out last week.

Marvin's other brother, Buddy, found out he had advanced pancreatic and liver cancer on Dec. 12.  Surgery was not an option.  Chemo was mentioned, but now that's not possible either.  Buddy is in a lot (and I mean A LOT) of pain.  He sleeps about 23 1/2 hours a day.  Hospice came in last week.  They're now giving him morphine, and he's still hurting.  It's a bad, bad situation, and we don't think he'll be able to hang on much longer.  He's not eating at all and drinking very, very little.  He probably doesn't weigh 125 pounds and is "confused" most of the time.  Saturday night he didn't recognize Marvin, and that was about as pitiful as I've seen Marvin.

Now that I'm back in school, Marvin spends his days trying to help with Buddy.  I feel like we're just going through the motions of living right now.  My heart aches for Marvin, and I don't know how to help him get through this.  Marvin's mother died of cancer in 1993, and it was very tough on him (his dad died when he was aoubt 12 and Buddy -- who's 12 years older than Marvin -- sort of took over as Marvin's "father figure").

[monrein]

Petey, my heart goes out to you and Marvin as well as the entire family.  You are Marvin's rock, and he yours, I'm just so sorry that you are both having to cope with all of this.   

[G-Ma]

Oh Petey...Saul and I just read this and are so very sorry for you, Marvin and all your family.  All you can do is be there for Marvin, much like we all try to be there for you. All of our prayers are to lift your family and we pray that through all this stress Marvin can maintain his dialysis and health and for you to maintain your strength.
Saul and Ann

[okarol]

This is so much to deal with at once - I am so sorry it's happening to Marvin and you petey, all I can do is send you some HUGS! Take care! 

[pelagia]

Petey, I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this pain and sadness.  We lost a dear aunt to pancreatic cancer a little over a year ago and my mom's best childhood friend from the same the year before.  It's a horrible disease.  I was already crying every time I read about Walt and then you had the news of Buddy. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.  

[willieandwinnie]

petey, my heart aches for you and Marvin. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family. Wish I could give you a big HUG and just sit and listen. We are here when you need us and please give Marvin a extra tight squeeze from me. 

[boxman55]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family...Boxman

[rose1999]

  we love you 

[paris]

So much to deal with and so much sadness.      My heart is hurting for all of you.   Prayers being said for Marvin and all the family.   I think we all crying with you today.   

[petey]

Marvin's brother Buddy died this morning about 3:15 a.m.  He was diagnosed 28 days ago with pancreatic and liver cancer.  We are very sad and heart-broken, for Buddy truly was a wonderful man.  However, the last five days, he has suffered horrifically, and we're relieved that his suffering is over -- that is the only "comfort" we can find now.

One of Marvin's other brothers, Walt, was diagnosed in November -- also with pancreatic cancer.  He's currently recovering from extensive surgery.

Please pray for us.

[jessup]

 
lots of loving prayers for you all

[Wattle]

 

{{Hugs}} from across the ocean.

[Wenchie58]

 

Prayers going out for all of you.

[G-Ma]

Saul and I are so sorry for you.  Our prayers go out to you and your family.     

[kitkatz]

Prayers for your family and love in your time of grief. 

[paris]

I am so very sorry for all of Marvin's family.  Please give him our love.  Life can be so hard and you all have really had a lot to deal with lately.  Prayers will be said for all of you. I am sure Buddy is happy and painfree and probably talking with our own Ohio Buckeye. 

[pelagia]

  so sorry Petey

[rose1999]

Marsha and Marvin I'm so sorry for your loss, sending love and prayers for you and all of Buddy's family, particularly Walt
Buddy is now painfree and I hope your own pain will ease in time. We all love you guys 

[Chris]

Sorry to hear petey.

I'm at a loss of words. It looks like so far Walt is going to pull through and that is a good thing. With 2 brothers having pancreatic cancer will doctors test Marvin?

[petey]

Sorry to hear petey.

I'm at a loss of words. It looks like so far Walt is going to pull through and that is a good thing. With 2 brothers having pancreatic cancer will doctors test Marvin?

The last time Buddy went to Duke (Durham, NC) to see the oncologist, Marvin and another brother (Jim) went with him.  The doctor told Buddy that Duke was interested in doing a research study on his family -- if they would participate.  Apparently, this is a hereditary thing, and the doctor said they could test any and all close blood relatives of Buddy's to see if they carried the gene.  If a family member does not have the gene, you say, "Whew!  Something else will get me."  If a family member does have the gene, they can have close and frequent testing to try to catch it early if it strikes you (just because another family member has the gene doesn't mean that they'll get the disease -- it just makes them "predisposed" to the disease).

Marvin and Jim both told the doctor, "Sign me up.  I want to particiapte."  Since then, the other brother and sister (there were six children in the family), Buddy's children and grandchildren, and lots of the nieces and nephews also have expressed an interest in participating in the study.

The doctor said Buddy and Walt's situation wasn't unusual because it was hereditary; however, it was extremely unusual that these two would be diagnosed within  about a month of each other.

But, then Marvin's family has this hereditary thing going anyway.  Another of Marvin's brothers, Ron, was on PD for four months before he got a cadaveric kidney transplant (Nov. of 1994).  Four months later, Marvin started on dialysis.  There you go ... two brothers with the same disease (ESRD), diagnosed within months of each other.  By the way, Ron's transplant just celebrated his 14th anniversary -- still going strong and going great.  It was a perfect match (6/6) from New York -- we live in North Carolina.  Ron is very, very lucky.  Of course, Marvin (dialysis for most of the last 14 years -- live donor transplant for three years in the middle) also says that he's lucky.

The visitation for Buddy is this afternoon, and his funeral is tomorrow.  The next two days will be difficult.

[monrein]

My deepest condolences to all of you Petey.  I'll be thinking of you often in the days to come. 

[willieandwinnie]

Marsha, I am so sorry to read this post. We will be thinking and praying for you and Marvin's family that you find peace and strength in each other. God Bless you all. 

[lola]

Sending you BIG

[The Wife]