Mikey and me.......

[Joe Paul]

The pieces left behind are so hard to put back together. I haven't lost a spouse, but did lose my best friend, my Mother. Even though it has been 16 years, I often find myself longing for her understanding, and loving embraces. I feel so much for those who lose loved ones, as it brings back my feelings of loss. I wish I could tell you it gets easier with time, but I am not one to lie, I know it isn't much easier for me now, as it was the day I lost my Mom.  It does help to talk about our feelings on line, there are lots here at IHD who can relate to things our love ones who surround us sometime cant. Its weird that we have to be the strong ones now, the "glue" if you will, to keep this world we live in together. I have big shoulders, but sometime the load gets too much to carry, and I too breakdown. Reading your post, I understand what you are feeling. I pray you can find a way to keep things together in your world, best of luck to you & what you have to do.

[Sluff]

Marley, you and Mikey will always be remembered here on IHD. It would be great to keep hearing from you. It's now time to take care of you.   

[paris]

Dear Marley,  We all love you and consider family.   I have thought of you so many times this week.  So many things to handle and to adjust to.  You took such wonderful care of Mike and made his transition so much easier.  Now, I hope you can rest and breath for a moment.  Let your son help you as much as he can and lean on others for awhile.  We will always be here waiting for you.   Your experiences will be a great support to the next person.   Take care, Marley.  You are very special to us.   

[Marley]

Good morning my friends

It's taking me a while to get back to these normal every day things, all I want to do is veg on the couch wrapped up in my quilt.  I did start writing some thank-you cards yesterday and even mailed the ones I finished.  One of our sons' friends gave me the most precious gift at Mikey's service, he was taking a philosophy course (son's friend) at the local college and came over one day and filmed my man at one of the things he does best--talk talk and talk some more.  I remember when they did it three years ago, I was in charge of keeping the bird and dog quiet.    Michael was a very intelligent man and remembered everything he ever read or heard and was such an interesting person to talk to.  OMG, I will SO miss those conversations we had!!  I haven't watched the CD yet and I don't think I'm ready for that, I can still hear his voice in my head.  This is so incredibally painful!!

His memorial was beautiful, very informal and casual.  I put tons of pictures up on 3 pegboards and had them displayed along with his (filthy, eewwwww) fishing hat......he never would let me wash it cuz I'd wash off all the good luck.....I wasn't about to wash it now.  He and our daughter had a thing with elephants so I brought one of those too.  If it was a good day, he was walking in FRONT of the elephants, leading the parade---on bad days, he was BEHIND the elephants scoopin the poop.  That's how our daughter would ask him how he felt---"are you walking in front today"?  My dad said the eulogy and he actually just started talking and didn't read from his paper.  After that, other people stood up and shared a story they had about Mike.  Even our 8 year old grandson got up and told the story of how Grandpa hid in the laundry room and waited till Grandma opened the door and he jumped out--scared the krap out of me too!! 
Lots of hugs, lots of tears and tons of memories being shared.  My brother taped it for me too, so I have that memory.

I raise my coffee cup to the best man I've ever known.  He loved me so completely, always accepted me for who I am and never tried to change me.  We so filled up our lives together with so much love, I know I will never find another man like my Mikey!!

Thank you all SO much, this board has helped me get through hell

[Marley]

......wasn't done.......

Just wanted to thank all my friends here at IHD and pleas know you all are helping me get through the worst fear and pain I've ever felt in my life.  I feel your love and am thankful for your "shoulders".  I re-read your posts and get comfort from them.

Love
Marley
 

[okarol]

Thank you so much for that post Marley. It's a wonderful glimpse of Mikey's character and the love you shared. Best wishes to you.  

[willieandwinnie]

Marley,  you are truly an amazing woman. 

[rose1999]

Good to hear from you Marley, thank you for sharing this with us - it sounds as if Mikey had a wonderful send off.  You know how lucky you are to have had his love (and he to have yours), I'm not going to offer platitudes, the pain will not completely go away and time doesn't really heal (I know from personal experience) but you learn to live with it and to remember the good times.  One day you will be able to smile where you now cry.  

We are here for you when you need us and if you have a day on the couch in your quilt then so what, everyone understands  - you deserve a little time to veg out, you are going through a very tough time.  We love you, hope that helps a little  

[petey]

you are in my thoughts daily, Marley...

[paris]

Marley,  what lovely words you wrote.  Thank you for sharing Mike's memorial with us.  I can't imagine the pain you have right now.  Time is the only healer for such an enormous pain.   We all think you are incredibly strong and are proud to know you.    

[monrein]

Thanks Marley for your beautiful post.  I hope you'll always know how welcome you are here and how much we'll be thinking of you in the weeks and months to come.  Sending you hugs and wishes for a peaceful heart to carry you through these painful times.

[Ang]

A  very  eloquent writer  of  words  and  expressing  feelings


best  of  luck  in  your  journey  moving  forward

[pelagia]

take care Marley. 

[TynyWonder]

They say that the "first" holidays are the hardest but I  tend to think they are all hard but I do hope you will love on your family and friends that you will be around on Thanksgiving as I am sure this holiday will be very hard.   

[Sluff]

Oh Marley I know you are struggling through this and although it is hard to endure this type of loss I know first hand how hard it is at this time of the year. All I can say is everyone handles this their own way so don't let anyone try and tell you what is right or wrong because there is not a right way or a wrong way to deal with such a event. Just know that if it feels right to you then it's right. We will always be here for you whenever you need us. If you would like to contact me by phone if you feel a need to just talk to someone PM me and I will send you my phone number. Hold them grandchildren a little tighter this holiday season. 

[jessup]

 

 

Take care dear Marley

[Mimi]

Hi Marley just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and Mikey.  The road you are on is
truly the hardest of any that we have to travel.  I wish there words to say that would make you feel better, but of course there is not.  Time will ease the pain, but that doen't help you now.
Please know that you are on my mind and in my prayers.

Love, Mimi