Compelled to give

Compelled to give
By Keith Anderson
Editor
(Created: Wednesday, June 4, 2008 11:25 AM CDT)

Donation gives man second chance at life

There is a gentleness that embodies Marit Rinke...a sense of calm. It is unmistakable. It’s detected in her comments, which are deliberate and meaningful.

Some people say things for effect. Others speak to solicit attention. But people like Marit seem less interested in the daily routine of life that is polluted with gossip and complaints and more interested in the bigger picture: why are we here?

But unlike many people, Marit seems to know exactly whey she is here, and for her it is simple: to do good.

Good is apparently second nature for the Waconia mother of three and wife of Mike Rinke.

Last fall she picked up a copy of The Patriot and noticed a story about a local man who was in need of a kidney transplant (Jim Dammann). She read the story with great interest, even though she’d never had any experience with transplants and did not know the young man.

Dammann had been born with kidney disease and when he was a baby had received a transplant from his father. Now, 20 years later, that kidney had been exhausted and he was in need of another. He’d already been taking heavy doses of medication and was receiving dialysis at his rural Waconia home. No other family members were a match, so his mom and dad were seeking help from anyone who would be willing to make that commitment.

Marit was so moved by his situation, she did something she’d never even thought about before.

She considered the possibility of donating one of her kidneys to Dammann. In fact, she not only considered it, she got on the phone and contacted the University of Minnesota to find out what was involved. “I think I made that phone call a couple weeks after I read the story,” she said.

Although she discovered her blood type was not a match for Dammann, she was unwilling to subdue the feelings she had about moving forward. “I discovered that there are over 600 people on a waiting list in Minnesota alone and it just felt right for me to go through with this,” she said.

“Marit wasn't a match for Jimmy and so it seemed that would be the end of it,” said Mike, her husband. “But Marit was really drawn to this idea, and after further thought she made another call to learn about anonymous donations. Marit really felt ‘called’ or ‘led’ to this as something that was right for her.”

She received a packet of information from the University of Minnesota Hospitals and just like that, the process had begun. Mike was impressed with how simple Marit was making it seem. She had blood drawn at Lakeview Clinic, which was then sent to the U of M Hospitals for evaluation.

On April 1, she spent an entire day at the ‘U’ as they not only examined her medically to determine if she were a good and healthy candidate to donate a kidney, but also to determine if she were in the right frame of mind mentally to make such a monumental decision. “I think it’s a much easier process if it’s a family member donating to another family member. But when it’s anonymous, as mine was, they really want to make sure people know what they are getting into,” she said.

There’s no question Marit said she knew exactly what she was doing. Even though she’s never had a family member or a friend who’s experienced a transplant, she said her reasons for wanting to help were more basic. “I really felt like I could do this.” She compared it to a quote that she’d read: “Life isn’t about what you have, it’s about what you have to give.”

“I really felt like that applied to me in this situation,” she said.

Her family physician told her there were issues on both sides that could be pondered, but at the end of the day it was a decision that she and her family would need to make for themselves.

When she spoke to Mike about the possibility of donating, he told her as long as she was comfortable with it, he would support her.

“Truly, my first thought was ‘that's different.’ Along with that, I only had a few ‘why’ and ‘what’ questions. Other than the driver's license check-off, organ donation was not something that I had ever considered. We don't know anyone who has donated a kidney and had never discussed the topic or anything similar. I had no idea of what it really meant to donate a kidney. Marit explained that the story in The Patriot about Jimmy really stuck with her and she wanted to see if she was a match for him. I also read that story, but the difference was that Marit was going to do something about it,” said Mike.

One month after her initial day-long visit with hospital officials, she was back at the U of M, only this time to have a kidney removed, which would immediately be transplanted into a 53-year-old Golden Valley man.

“When we got down to the end, I did explain the risks to our children. My two older kids, Britta (16) and Everett (14) seemed okay, but Trina (11) was a little more concerned. She didn’t like to hear about it. But as a family, we went forward with confidence,” Marit said.

Although anonymous donations are more protected than a family donation, Marit did discover April 1 that her donation would be going to the 53-year-old. “That was good to find out because we have a neighbor who just turned 50 and I was able to tell my kids that my kidney would be going to somebody about that same age so he could continue to live a full life with his family. I think that helped personalize it a little more.”

Even on the day of the surgery, Marit and her recipient were kept apart. “We were even on different floors of the hospital so family members wouldn’t accidentally bump into each other.”

The privacy issues are done to protect both people involved. In fact, the transplant center generally recommends that donor and recipient not meet for at least six months after a surgery, so both people have time to think about it.

Still, even though she’d never met him or his family she wanted to assure them that everything would be okay. So on the day of the surgery she sent him a note. “I told him I was excited to be doing this, and that my kidney was in good shape and that it should work well for him.”

Minutes later, she was sedated and for the next five hours surgeons worked diligently and carefully to remove her right kidney. Within 30 minutes of its removal, it was being transplanted into the Golden Valley man.

She remained in the hospital from Thursday-Sunday. On Saturday, she received a bouquet of flowers with the following message: “Thank you for the gift of life for our son and brother.”

That was reassuring for Marit, who said it was comforting to know that he wasn’t going through this alone.

A few days later she received a message from the man noting that he was doing fine and that his kidney function had returned to normal levels.

Initially, when she first read the story about Jimmy, she desperately wanted her kidney to be a match. When it was not, she was disappointed. But then a girlfriend told her that no matter who received the donation, it would move everyone else on the waiting list up one spot.

“Seventeen people die each day waiting for kidney transplants, so that really hit home for me,” Marit said.

Since the surgery, she’s been careful to rest and not over-exert herself. She suffered abdominal pains over the Memorial Day weekend, ending a family outing to Nevis, Minn. She was back at the U of M but doctors were unable to determine the source of the pain. Since then, she has been resting at home, getting stronger each day. And she has had plenty of time to think about her decision to donate.

“I don’t think it’s for everybody, but I do think there are other people who would find this to be the right thing for them. I really felt like I was at a place in my life where this was the right thing to do.”

Her husband said he is in awe of his wife and how simple she made the whole process.

“This was one of the greatest things I've ever witnessed, and it has been fantastic for our entire family. She never questioned her decision and her confidence made it much easier for the rest of us.

“It is fun for me to tell this story. It's unusual, and really causes people to pause and think. This may not be for everyone, but it would be a good choice for many people. I think the challenge is that most of us just haven't taken the opportunity to consider it seriously. Now I'm starting to wonder when it might work for me to donate a kidney. Why not? I know there will never be a perfect time, and I need to remember to keep it simple the way Marit handled it.”

Simple. With the focus on one goal: doing good.

Next week: Update on Jim Dammann.

Want to find out more about donating an organ?

If you'd like to be considered as a kidney donor, you can call the U of M-Fairview at 1-800-328-5465. The call is not an obligation to become a donor, just a first step to get more information and see if it's something you'd like to consider. You can also access their website at www.fairviewtransplant.org.

http://www.waconiapatriot.com/articles/2008/06/09/waconia_patriot/news/news03.txt