Anyone heard of this???

[LovinMyDad]

My dad is a dialysis patient. Earlier this week he was hospitalized for a day due to what he called "his kidneys acting up." Any answers as to what this was or what the hospital was doing to bring him relief. He says he is in a lot of pain and that this just happens sometimes.

My dad tends to shelter us kids with some info so we don't worry - but I do better with the facts!

Thanks, -Lisa

[Romona]

Lisa,
I don't know what your Dad is referring to. I admit I keep a lot of things from my kids. I guess sometimes parents under estimate what kids can handle. 

[rose1999]

No idea what he means Lisa but you should tell him that you need to know the facts. Explain that when you don't know that you worry and think the worst and that you would really appreciate him telling you what is happening.  It's hard to watch those we love suffering but at least if we know what and why it helps us get our heads around it. 

[LovinMyDad]

Thank you! I knew it didn't really add up. Problem with my dad is that he may not even know a lot. He never really asks many questions. Just goes with whatever the doctor says. When he does tell me things I always ask him the first things that pop into my mind and he says "I don't know yet" or "I forgot to ask."
 

[paris]

Hi Lisa,  I too don't give my children all the information at one time.   My daughters want to know every detail, but my sons do better with just the basics.   Hoping you Dad feels better soon. Keep us posted.

[stauffenberg]

It might be possible to infer the answer if we knew what the cause of your father's renal failure was.  If he had renal cystic disease or renal carcinoma, for example, that could explain how he could be having kidney problems requiring hospitalization even after complete failure of renal function.

[LovinMyDad]

His failure is mainly due to poorly controlled diabetes. But close to 10 years ago he had a fatty tissue tumor on one kidney and lost about half that kidney due to tumor removal. Things were also accelerated due to being on the FOLFOX chemo regimine for 9 sessions last year. Really though, my dad never took the warnings seriously about his eating and the diabetes...

[monrein]

Do you know if he has kidney stones Lisa?  Or a urinary tract infection?  Would your Dad ever let you go with him to the doc's or let you talk to the doc.  I'm guessing not if he himself kind of wants to be left in the dark or at least keep you from worrying.  I'd tell him how not knowing actually makes you worry and fret even more.  I'm guessing too that he may not want you bugging him to follow doctor's orders like with his diabetes.  You're in a tough spot.

[rose1999]

Thank you! I knew it didn't really add up. Problem with my dad is that he may not even know a lot. He never really asks many questions. Just goes with whatever the doctor says. When he does tell me things I always ask him the first things that pop into my mind and he says "I don't know yet" or "I forgot to ask."
 

Lisa that could be my Dad you are writing about - what is it with them, they never ask and treat  the Doctors as if they are gods - probably that's why my Dad is where he is now, he would never 'upset' the Dr by asking for a second opinion although Mum & I had begged him for years to do so.  You have my sympathy and any support I can offer.

[aharris2]

Hi LMD, I really like your name.

As others have said on other threads, one way of dealing with ESRD is by not dealing with it - keeping your distance, not asking your doctor questions and leaving your treatment to others. If your dad is like that, he may not mind at all if you accompanied him to the doctor like monrein suggested. If you get a chance to go, write down your questions so that you don't forget them in the pressure of the moment.

Alene

[BigSteve]

I know it can be difficult with an older father, being one myself. Are you on his HIPPA form so
that the health care people can discuss his conditions with you?  Try and work with your dad so
he know you are concerned without looking like you want to control. Which is hard I know.

[LovinMyDad]

Thanks again for your replies. This is still pretty new to all of us. My dad just started dialysis within the last month. I really wish that he and his wofe would research more, take the diet VERY seriously, and ask lots and lots of questions. But they don't so I have to make the best of our time we spend together and come here to get the real scoop!

-Lisa