Attitude Adjustment

[meadowlandsnj]

I was at hemo the other day and we have a hemo nurse who I'll call Polly. She always has kind of an attitude with patients. I was already on the machine and I over heard her talking about a patient who wasn't being very cooperative--he was having a bad day like we all do.  ANyway Polly said to the tech who was there also "if he doesn't like it here he can always go to another dialysis center."  So I said outloud (maybe I shouldn't have) "maybe we can all do that and you'd find yourself out of a job."  She didn't say anything back. 
I mean look, b+tch--don't do me any favors.  You can take your break, go have a nice lunch, drink from your giant water bottle in front of us, go on the internet and read magazines while you're working which is what I'm noticing they've been doing.  Don't tell me I can go someplace else when I'm the CUSTOMER here.  And I am the CUSTOMER when you think about it.  I hope to God that when they find another way for ESRD treatment all the bitchy dialysis workers will be out on their asses collecting unemployment checks.
I had to get this off my chest.
Donna


TOPIC MOVED to appropriate section: Dialysis: Workers - Bajanne, Moderator

[kitkatz]

  Rant on! 

[monrein]

Good for you Donna, where do they find these people?  I mean does the job posting advertise "Insentive nurse wanted to work with chronically ill, trapped people.  The meaner you are, the more we like your attitude".
I know there are many very caring ones out there but all it takes is one per unit to really mess with our heads (and blood pressures)

Your story made me think of last week when I met with the anesthetist a few days before my access surgery.  My appointment was at 10:30 so at 10:15 I checked in.  At 12:45 this young female doc (anesthetist) walks in.  I was feeling nauseous and quite awful and fed up and ..well you know , frustrated at having been told earlier that it was a quiet day so I shouldn't have to wait long.  So I start by saying "I'm really annoyed.  I've been here since 10:15, I don't feel well and I even made sure to get here early." She looks at me and says "Well I've been here since 6:15"  Man, I lost it.  I said "Excuse me but if that is the time you have to start work let me point out that I am neither your therapist nor your union rep.  If you as a medical professional can't understand patient frustration I think you've been steered wrong in your choice of profession.  No one told me that I was coming in today to talk about the stresses of your job. I'm not currently working as a Social Worker but when I was I can't remember a single time when someone came to discuss their problems with me and I ended up telling them all about mine. Sorry you're tired but I am exhausted, slept about four hours off and on last night and the really big difference between you and me is that I'm sick and, excuse me for assuming but, as far as I can tell you're not.  One last thing,  if it were possible for us to exchange kidneys right now,  I'd come in at 4:15 and work those two extra hours for free."  I was crying by now and just wanted to leave.  To her credit, she did soften a bit by the end of our meeting but I was truly ticked off.  She never really apologized either and that would have gone a long way in my book.
Gail

[Ang]

    for  meadowlandsnj,  i  cop  this  sort  of  crap  off  a  majority  of  nurses,  more  so  the  silent  treatment,they  won't  talk  to  you  unless  your there  patient.

[Sluff]

Good Job Donna. 

[skyedogrocks]

Good for you Donna & Gail.  I would be mad too.  When Rob was in the hospital last year he was in their center getting dialyzed.  The nurses/techs were so rude and were talking about paitents when they left.  Rob was getting a horrible headache and asked for some Tylenol.  20 mins went by and still no Tylenol.  Finally, I got up and went to where they were sitting.  They were just chatting and drinking their coffee.  I let them know that my husband has been waiting 20 mins for his Tylenol and he needs it now.  The nurse snapped at me and said he wasn't the only patient there and went to go for it.  I said "Excuse Me?"  I then went on to tell her it is her job to make sure the patients are doing well and taken care of.  They aren't here for the excitement or entertainment, they need this to survive.  I then asked who here charge nurse was and made a complaint.  I then talked to his neph when he came in to visit him.  Needless to say he never had any other problems for the remainder of his stay.  Rob doesn't complain, so I do it for him  .

[Romona]

 
You guys rock!

[Adam_W]

This kind of reminds me of when I was dialyzing in the hospital when I had the staph infection. After I put my needles in and the nurse hooked me up, I asked her if she could angle the machine so I could see it. She said "Ok, as long as I can still get to it", and she moved it. All seemed fine until she came up to me a few minutes later and said in kind of a rude tone, "Now I don't want you to touch MY machine". I didn't want to cause a ruckus, so I just said "no problem", and the rest of the treatment, even all my further encounters with that nurse were fine. We even got into a discussion about which dialysis machines were the best (she hates the NxStage). I was just thinking "Gee, bitch I had no intentions of doing anything with the machine. I don't even know how to operate that particular machine" And the whole "MY machine" bit. The dialysis machine is owned by the hospital, not the nurse, and was currently replacing one of MY bodily organs. She just should not have ASSUMED since I wanted the machine angled so I could see it, that I would touch it or try to change things. Gee, I know the difference between a HOSPITAL, and MY HOME or a SELF-CARE UNIT. Oh well, I didn't have anymore problems with her and I only had to have the one treatment there.

Adam

[kitkatz]

That nurse needed a good 

[KICKSTART]

Sadly in the UK we dont get a choice , we are stuck with the hospital they send us too!

[stauffenberg]

All the time I was on dialysis I just followed the rule of going along to get along.  Whatever anyone did, no matter how rude, stupid, or irritating, I just pretended it was fine with me.  My thinking was that complaining would only make a stressful situation worse, and since I could not escape and was powerless in that context, what was the point of starting open disputes with the people in power?

[NolaGail]

That's always been my style, stauffenberg.  Could be my shyness was part of it, but it worked for me.  Maybe we can call it Stauffenberg's Rules of Non-engagement ?

NolaGail

[monrein]

I tried that approach at first, maybe because I felt so sick, but then I'd find myself later being really annoyed and irritated with myself for not speaking up.  Then I'd be yakking with other patients about whoever but nothing ever changed.  So I decided that if I was going to talk about the irritations at all it should be with those directly responsible rather than behind their backs.  I usually try not to fire off immediately because I want to be effective, not just angry,  but sometimes things do just spill out.  I have had to apologize more than once for an excess of assertiveness (hopefully not aggression) and have also sometimes had to bump things up to someone with more authority but I can't carry all those frustrations with me because I have too many others that I simply can't do anything about.  I also though do try to be as nice and understanding as I can for the most part and hope that people will want to be helpful or kind or whatever.  I'm also glad that now I have this site which has, among many things, Kitkatz and her   

[jbeany]

Sometimes it's a fine line to walk - that space between being a compliant patient with a positive attitude and being an informed patient who can be self-advocating.  Sometimes it's okay to let the small things go by you, and let it go for the sake of your own stress levels.  But you have to find a way to stand up when it's important, and demand the best care for the sake of your health.

[Ohio Buckeye]

 yes    again

[Lori1851]

HI All,
One thing I have learned in my 45yrs is to Speak up for yourself!!!! I guess I get my balls excuse the pun from my dad hehehe which has gotten my point across to people like you have  mentioned

Lori/Indiana

[BobT1939]

Gail, you are my honest-to-God hero! Bless your heart, your kidneys may have gone caflooey but your brain works wonderfully./bobt

[Ambo]

Good day all!  When I was on hemo, I dreaded going because of the nasty, rude nurses.  Sure there are some really great ones, whom I shall always remember.  But there were also times when the rude ones did something disrespectful which I'll never forget.  I ended up switching to PD dialysis so I wouldn't have to deal with the nurses, it's a bit more work but I'd rather have as much control as possible in my health care.  I found the nurses much too loud for my liking and kept no privacy of my situation from the entire room.  I was travelling to a different province once and had to do some swabs, one being a rectal swab.  So the nurse felt it her duty to very loudly state that the tube on my table was my rectal swab.  She said this not once but twice, very loudly.  Like I really want the entire room knowing what I was having to do!  Heh, I can laugh at it now...  There are always going to be rude people.  I talked with a friend once about the nursing situation and she pointed out how she has to deal with rude folks for her job as a manager.  It takes courage to speak up for yourself in a tactful way and sometimes writing a letter may help because you'd have time to think about your feelings of the circumstance and say it right.  It's a really crappy deal that patients are treated so disrespectful at times, especially when we should be trusting these people to give us the best quality of life.  I hope we can all stand strong.   

[monrein]

Thanks Bob for your vote of confidence.

Ambo I have never done this in a dialysis situation but I did once in a store when a clerk was very rude and short with me,  like she was doing me a big favour by checking something I had asked her to.  I took a deep breath and said "Excuse me for asking but were you born miserable or have you been working at it for a while?"  I then apologized for interrupting her day and I left. 
It's very different in our medical situations though because it's easy to feel like they have us by the short and curlies.  You can imagine me on your shoulder though if you ever need some extra courage to stand strong and speak up for proper and considerate treatment. 

I agree with you too jbeany that we have to pick and choose our battles and sometimes humour is the best approach while other times it's best all around to let it drop.

[Stacy Without An E]

I'm pretty fortunate for 90% of the personnel at my Dialysis clinic are the kind of people whose personality suits the medical field.  But two weeks ago I came in about a half hour early and a tech I'll call "Frownie" was rushing me along.  I shuffle into Dialysis at roughly half turtle speed because I'm dreading the procedure, so your rushing me isn't going to help at all.

Everything was at full speed: cleaning of site, taking of vitals and unfortunately, the administration of the needles.  I kept asking her to slow down and she ignored me.  She infiltrated me and it was extremely painful.  She gave me a dirty look like it was my fault.

I promise you that the next time she steps up to my chair I will immediately ask for another individual.

In my four years I've never seen her smile once, so that should have been a clue.

They should really do personality tests to discover whether people training for a medical career are entering the field to help people or simply to make a living.

[Brightsky69]

I only did hemo for about two weeks at a center. I had an infection of my PD catheter. But in that short amount of time I always wondered what kind of training did these guys have. They always seemed sort of vocational to me...like they might have had a couple of weeks training and boom they were hooking people up to dialysis machines.
Never seemed very professional.