I love dialysis?

[Audreysmomma]

I'm sure the subject of this post threw some of you off, after all the site is called I HATE dialysis. Now, i am not on dialysis, but I am a dialysis technician, and family member, well I was. Here is my story: I'm a Yong wife and mother of a beautiful one year old.I work for Davita/ Duh-vita, or what ever you want to call it. I got in to dialysis because 9 years ago my grandmother was diagnosed with ESRD and was given 3 months to live. Now, a little background; my grandmother helped raise me. She lived about one month with each of her kids in different parts of CA then would spend about 3 months in Mexico which is where we are from. In December of 98 her youngest daughter who lived in Mexico was getting married so my grandma flew down there to be with her. She was supposed to come back right after the wedding because her health was not doing to good, but was not able to. She started feeling very lousy and the Mexican doctors could not figure out why. She was a diabetic of 25 years and they thought it was her sugar. She had gained so much weight that her eyes and legs were extremely swollen and she had a hard time breathing. But why was all this happening? A diabetic for 25 years who refused to take care of her self, her kidneys had failed. They put a CVC in her and then wanted to train her for PD and send her home. The "doctors" said she was very uremic and would not make it more than 3 months. When my mom and her brothers found out was was happening the said she had to come back home ASAP! There had to be more we could do! We managed to get her home OK and immediately took her to the hospital. Sure enough, the doctor's response was ESRD, but they were much more optimistic. The dialyzed her in the hospital for about a week, until they felt she was well enough to go home. Then when she was discharged we were told to go to this "dialysis clinic". We took her her for her treatment and asked how much longer she would have to go there. "Forever" they replied, What? Or what? "She will die". Talk about bedside manners huh? So anyways, she got a fistula, and a graft, and another graft, and about 2 or 3 catheters in between. Her veins were so bad from the diabetes. Well those 3 months we expected turned into years, about 2. In May of 2001 she suffered a stroke after dialysis and was sent to the hospital. She had surgery after surgery, after surgery. Finally in the middle of June(1 1/2 months after she was admitted) the doctors had no other options and the family decided to take her off life support. We all got to go into the ICU room with her to say good bye. This was the HARDEST thing I had ever gone through, and still is. How do you say goodbye to someone you love so much? Someone who was a second mother to you? How do you learn to live your life without them? I will let you know when I figure it out! After high school I had no goals for my self, so it was either get a job, go to college, or get kicked out of home. I picked school, I went to school to get trained to be a dialysis technician. I blamed the dialysis clinic my grandma had her stroke at for what happened and I thought I could make a difference. In June of 2005 I started filling out applications for every clinic I knew of and Davita was the only one to call me. I accepted the position and have been working for the past 3 years. I love helping other people have there loved ones with them, and I love giving life to my patients. I'm going back to school to be an RN, for dialysis of course! Then move up to running my own clinic! I want to run a clinic were patients truly are first and I know I do everything in my power to keep them happy and healthy. After all, I do love dialysis because it gave me a chance to enjoy my grandma for 2 years instead of 3months, and if I am able to do that for anyone else it would be the greatest feeling in the world!!

[willieandwinnie]

WOW!!!  Audreysmomma, great introduction. I'm sorry about your Grandmother, I was raised by mine also. I wish more techs and nurses had your attitude, you are a rarity. Take care and post often. I like your spunk.

[okarol]

  Hi Audreysmomma,
I had a wonderful grandmother too, my soul sister I think, we were so close!
I think your personal experience will make you a better caregiver and you have insights that many other techs and nurses could benefit from.
Welcome to IHD!


okarol/admin

[boxman55]

"After all, I do love dialysis because it gave me a chance to enjoy my grandma for 2 years instead of 3months, and if I am able to do that for anyone else it would be the greatest feeling in the world!!"

Welcome to IHD, thanks for sharing your experience and I am glad that the chance to spend a little more time with your Grandma really changed your life. She is no doubt very proud of you.

Boxman, Moderator

[petey]

Welcome, audreysmomma!  So glad you found us, and I hope you'll post often.  I know you have a lot of knowledge to share.  Several things about your intro relate to me, too.  First, I dearly loved my grandmother, and her death (when I was 19) was absolutely devastating for me.  Secondly, I love dialysis, too, for the reason you gave.  For 13 years, dialysis has kept me from being a widow (my husband Marvin is the patient).  Without it, he wouldn't have lived this long -- and, hey, he's still going strong.  As bad as it is, dialysis still keeps my Marvin alive -- how could I not love that?

[Rerun]

Welcome to IHD.  I'm glad you Grandmother got two more years and I'm glad you knew when to say "stop".  It is never easy to say good-bye, but I know I wouldn't want to be brought back just to face dialysis again and again.  I have a DNR order just for that reason. 

If you do run your own clinic, make sure you have an ice machine!   

[rose1999]

Hello and     . Nice to meet you, look forward to hearing more from you.

[Ang]

 

[keefer51]

Thanks for the support and care. Although my clinic has all the plaques on their walls giving them the proper kudos. We are like cattle. Get them in and out. No matter how they have to do it. I had a grandmother who raised me too. I am thankful in a way she isn't alive to see this madness. Hope all works for you.

[mysty]

I was mesmorized by your intro.. and am sooo glad you are here.. Like the others I hope you will post often as your knowledge will be ever so helpful.. .

Now.. can I get you to think of sunny South Florida for your clinic opening?  Lasso you up and bring you this way..

[annabanana]

  

[Bajanne]

Welcome to our community!   What a tremendous intro!!  I was very near to tears.  I had to say goodbye to both my parents, my dad from kidney failure, so I am very empathetic.  We at IHD are always gratified when a worker in this field shows such caring.  We have a section here where we say what we have to about workers [Dialysis:Workers], but we also have one where workers are free to vent [Dialysis:Employees].  Our founder, Epoman, believes that everyone should have a voice without censorship (except for vulgarity and bad spelling!).  So read as much as you can, and please post as much as you can.  You are now part of our IHD caring and sharing family. 


Bajanne, Moderator

[kellyt]

 

[Phillip_20]

 

[ODAT]

 

Welcome Audreysmomma, you are such a strong person to take your personal experience and turn it into a life-giving, supporting position to so many others. I know what I mean. lol You truly are a blessing and your grandmother would be so proud of you. I pray when my mom is ready for dialysis that she will have someone like you taking care of her.

[Mimi]

Hello and welcome.  Your intro was lovely.  We all love our grandmas.  I am grandma to four, that's where the Mimi
come from.
 

[Sluff]

Welcome to ihatedialysis.com Audreysmomma,

Thanks for your perspective and all you do for those with ESRD.

Sluff/Admin

[kidney4traci]

Welcome to IHD even thought you said ILD!!  It is refreshing to see someone go into the field with your experience.  I am sure that flows out of you and your patients feel that and appreciate it.   It is tough to be in the clinic as a pt and any tlc from the staff is a welcome change of pace.  Pray you learn to take care of yourself and watch your sugars too, diabetes is horrible on the body.

[Romona]

 

[twirl]

    howdy from Texas and I'm glad for you but I still can't love dialysis but I am sure my children feel the same way you do

[kitkatz]

I always think highly of people who choose to work on the dialysis units and then come here to tell us of their experiences.  Sharing knowledge with patients is the best thing you can do.  Welcome to IHD.com




kitkatz,moderator

[LadyStardust89]

Dear Audreysmomma,

I feel very very veryyyyy close to your story.. my own grandmother who was like a mother because my mother wasn't much of one.. well she also is a diabetic and doesn't take care of herself.. she is very sick the whole shebang.. even though her cret isn't too bad (1.5).. but shes has every symtome. but she;s my maternal granny and my mother is the boss.. she's also a nurse.. they told my grandmother to go on dialysis but shes too afraid mostly because my mother is afraid and she scared her. I love my granny so much.. it kills me to watch her slowly die.. I know she doesn't take care of herself the way she should.. and I know I cannot keep her alive forever or make her start dialysis.. But I love her so much. She has been someone who tries not to judge (shes an old woman from russia.. so shes kinda set in her ways in some respect..) But I feel a piece of me die when i see her in pain.. knowing she can make it better..I wish so much she would listen to me.. she feels that shes old and has no future.. and doesn't want to live her "last" days on dialysis.. I'm afraid that she will still go on dialysis but she will be too sick to help.. her veins will go.. I love her..  But I do not want to be a dialysis nurse or anything to do with medicine.. I spend enough time with it.. I can help in other ways.. But I feel so helpless and I'm slowly watching one of the most important people in my life die.