The "They" attitude

[Adam_W]

Does anyone on home dialysis (or those on in-centre self-care) get tired of medical professionals constantly using the "they" word? "What days do THEY dialyze you?" or "How are THEY sticking you?" or "When do THEY want to start using your access?" I get this a lot, and it doesn't really bother me too much, but it just shows how uncommon doing your own dialysis is. When a medical professional says something like that, it makes it seem like the patient is completely separated from their own treatment. My vascular surgeon always uses the "they" attitude, despite the number of times I've told him I do my own dialysis at home, and I put my own needles in. I do understand, though because he has a gazillion patients and he can't remember every single thing about each one. Still, the way I look at it, it's MY access that's being used during MY treatment. This isn't really a "rant", but I'm just curious if other home/self-care patients notice that.

Adam

[petey]

In our part of the state (maybe even the entire southeast US), home hemodialysis is very rare.  At Duke Hospital (Durham, NC -- and one of the biggest and best in the US), Marvin would have to explain OVER AND OVER again that he was on "home hemodialysis."  Most of the nurses and a few of the doctors said, "So, how often do you do your exchanges?"  Duh!  Just because it's "home dialysis" doesn't mean it's PD.  The typical conversation would then go like this (and, remember, we were talking to health care providers at a very large hospital):

"You've got to be kidding...you do hemodialysis at home?"
"Yeah.  It's great."
"Who sticks you?" (like they either don't know the word "cannulate" or they don't use it because they think we don't know it)
"My wife."
"Where'd you get a machine that will allow you to do hemodialysis at home?"
"I was trained at the DaVita center in Wilmington, and they arranged for me to get the machine."
"Does a home health nurse come out during your treatments?"
"No, my wife and I handle everything on our own."
"Who sets up the machine?"
"I do."
"Who cleans it and breaks it down after a treatment?"
"I do."
"What do you do if you have an emergency during the treatments?"
"We would call 9-1-1."
"Do you go back to the center for monthly labs?"
"No, we draw labs twice a month at home.  We have our own centrifuge, spin, and ship them from home."
"I've never heard of this before."


I think, eventually, that home hemo will become much more popular.  I think there are a lot of patients out there who don't know that it exists and don't know that it's something that can be done at home. 

Marvin and I absolutely LOVE home hemo.  We like the independence and the responsibility for his care.  We think he gets better care at home than he did in-center.

[kitkatz]

I always wonder who THEY are when someone mentions them.  It sounds like a secret society: THEY and THEM!

[Mimi]

LOL I live with one of Those people.  My son-in-law constantly says 'She won't like that'. Oh, she who?
Or 'He only wants to lie around and sleep.'  He, Who? Even down to the dogs.  'She starts all the barking.?' We have 3 female dogs and they all have names.  You have to be a mindreader to live here.

Mimi



 

[jbeany]

I haven't noticed a lot of the "they" stuff - but I do get the "home dialysis means PD".  I've stopped telling them it's home dialysis - I always say home hemo.  Some of them still don't get it.  I had to wave kitkat's big stick around on Friday to get the nurse hooking up the IV for my fistulagram to agree to skip the lidocaine.  I hate the burning sensation, and would rather just have the needle and be done with it.  She started in about how I didn't know what a 20 gauge needle was going to feel like.  I said I was on home hemo and capable of sticking a 15 gauge needle in my own arm, and she was still thinking I'm doing PD. 

Of course, once she figured out what I meant, I got to do the 10 minute sales presentation for NxStage again.  All the nurses I talk to about it are fascinated! 

[rose1999]

LOL I live with one of Those people.  My son-in-law constantly says 'She won't like that'. Oh, she who?
Or 'He only wants to lie around and sleep.'  He, Who? Even down to the dogs.  'She starts all the barking.?' We have 3 female dogs and they all have names.  You have to be a mindreader to live here.

Mimi

I have a mother in law like that Mimi - she will walk into my kitchen when there's only me there at the sink and say loudly "oh she's washing up" - I feel like saying "is she, oh good for her - So am I"    What is it with people like that???

 

[KICKSTART]

I do CAPD and every time i go the the clinic i have to run through my list of exchanges , my tablets etc because no one can remember what im on! However i am rmemebered in clinic for one thing ..my attitude .. says it all doesnt it!

[Slywalker]

I didn't notice the "they" attitude much doing hemo or PD at home.  However, I do notice it a lot in life and I tend to ask - "just who are "they"?"  I've have never liked the "they" thing.

I wouldn't be surprised if the "they" issue is the same for whatever chronic disease folks are being treated.

Sandyb

[KT0930]

I didn't really notice it, but I did PD, and most of the questions I would get were from non-medical people. They would hear that I was on dialysis and automatically ask, "How often do you do treatments?" When they heard once a day for 8.5 hours (I was on the cycler), their eyes would get really big... 

[willieandwinnie]

Len and I are just like petey and Marvin. They didn't believe we did home hemo. I still carry the stupid certificate they gave me when we passed the class. I just whip it out and leave them speachless.

[Slywalker]

I forgot about the certificate!!!  I received two, after I passed PD training, manual and the cycler.  WOW - I should have framed them and I completely forgot.  Hmmmmm................

[KT0930]

Hey, I never received a certificate for CAPD or Cycler training! 

[Slywalker]

Hey KT - better let your dialysis staff know that certificates are important to us, darn it.  The more the better.   

Sandyb

[Adam_W]

I didn't get a certificate when I finished NxStage training. I've been cheated!  Since I dialyze through Davita, I was half expecting some cheezie certificate, but all I got was "Well, your done now and we'll do your first home treatment tomorrow".

Adam
 

[MyssAnne]

Hey!!! I didn't get a certificate!!!! Man, what do you have to do to get it?? 


 Just as well, one more piece of paper from the clinic!

[kidney4traci]

I made them take my husband's name off mine, he only went to one training session!  I'm the one who stuck it out, my name is the only one on it!