Ever since I got this new fistula n othing has gone right!

[Adam_W]

I got my new fistula placed yesterday, and since then I've endured pain, not being able to sleep much last night, and now, fighting with my parents. I made the mistake of waking my mom up to ask if she could help me with setting up my dialysis machine because my arm hurts. That basically sent her into a yelling rampage which I won't go into detail about. I ended up finishing the setup on my machine myself, and that made my arm hurt even more. A big source of stress and concern right now is that there is no "sign of life" at all in my new fistula. No thrill, no bruit, nothing. I know it's only a little over 24 hrs old, but there is no indication that blood is flowing through it. I wanted to buy a stethoscope that would allow me to listen for a bruit more accurately, rather than holding my arm up to my ear. The local drug store has one for only 18 dollars, and I mentioned I was going to buy it. That sent my dad into a "rage" about how I shouldn't "waste my money" on something like that, and I should just trust the doctor and go by whatever he says. He ended up just stomping out of my room when I politely asked him to lower his voice. I'm just thinking is all this even worth it if all we're going to do is fight about STUPID LITTLE THINGS! I mean GEEZE it's a DAMN 18 DOLLAR STETHOSCOPE! And with my mom, I COMMITTED  THE F'ING CRIME OF WAKING HER UP! I tapped her on the shoulder and she screamed very rudely WHAT! That I can sort of understand, but then she started chewing me a new asshole for absolutely no logical reason. Geeze, I mean I love my family more than anyone else on this planet, but I just f'ing hate it when we fight like this for absolutely no bloody reason at all. I'm afraid some of it may be the fact that I'm doing dialysis at home, and they have to be around it every day. Let's see, it's either me dialyzing at home and getting into fights because my family hates being around my dialysis, or I dialyze in-centre and be upset all the time, and get in fights because I'm upset. I guess either way I can't stop having fights and getting upset. I can't win. I have just come the closest to taking myself off of my machine and possibly not getting back on it. I just don't know what to do.

Adam

[cris]

My Dearest AdamW
The situation your in right now is not simple. Most of the time, people does not exactly know how debilitating is the kidney malfunction. Our family has gone and is still going on the same scenarios with my Mom. Sometimes, it takes the patience out of the people around her, and it seems to me that I am the only one who fully understands how my Mom feels, maybe because I am far away from home but I know for sure because I am in this IHD family that I have come to understand how anyone feels on a kidney problem.
Remember, everyone in your family is stressed out, not because of you but because of the situation, they love you no doubt but they also need a little understanding. I know, it's not easy for you, but just dwell in the love your family has for you. And you can always rand and vent in here. Smile, all of us here loves and cares for you.

[kitkatz]

     I am sending you a hug.  I cannot tell you how much family support means to someone when on dialysis.  I am sorry you are having a bad time with your folks. I have no advice for you, except to keep going onward.  Things will improve.

[del]

  Hope things improve Adam. 

[Adam_W]

I'm doing a lot better now, except for my arm, which hurts like hell right now. My parents and I sat down and talked and nobody's mad anymore. I think we were just all kind of stressed. I have my dialysis and my fistula issues, my dad is dealing with unusual pain in his leg that makes it hard for him to walk, and my mom is stuck in the middle. There may be a sign of life in my fistula as well. My mom was listening to it to try to detect a bruit and she said she can faintly hear my pulse. It took a while of positioning my arm just right, but I could finally make it out as well. Plus, I've been noticing a circulation change in my right hand, indicating the blood seems to be properly shunted through the fistula. That's more than I can say for my first fistula attempt, so I guess everything is as it should be. I'll keep you all updated. Right now I need to go take my night time dose of Vicodin. My arm feels like it's being eaten from the inside out (it hurts like hell).

Adam

[rose1999]

Hi Adam, glad to hear things are getting better with the fistula and that you and your parents have talked.  You are obviously a close loving family, but sometimes things just get on top of us and we yell! As a mum it's very hard to see your child suffer, (how ever old they are) it's scary too and, as you say, with your Dad not well too then I guess she's scared, worried and a bit worn out, but she loves you!  I hope the pain in your arm will be gone soon.
Take care, 
Rose

[Black]

Oh, Adam, I am so sorry.  I'm glad you came here to rant and that things have gotten a little better for all of you. 

[okarol]

Hi Adam,

Good to hear things with the family are better.

When do you get your fistula looked at again? I know you have probably called them to say you're in a  lot of pain, but if not please do. Something could be blocked already, it happens.

Best wishes and {{{HUGS}}}! 

[donnia]

Adam,

Great to hear that things are going better.  I will pray that your fistua gets stronger   

[cris]

Adam,
Please always elevate your arm with the fistula, always higher than your shoulder if possible, this way it won't swell and takes out much of the pain. Exercise your fingers for good circulation. Don't worry, the pain will go away in time. With my Mom, we were really scared, hers got so swollen that the skin appears to burst right out, but everything went fine. We always put warm compress to help the swelling & pain. We love you.

[karen547]

Adam I can definitely relate to your situation. I fight with my family sometimes as well. I do In-Center Hemo , but I  get frustrated a lot about the situation I am in, and as much as my parents want and try to understand, they just cannot fully understand it unless they experience it as well. I am also going back to school in March for my Bachelor's Degree. My parents are worried that I won't be able to handle school with dialysis, but I am only going part time, and while I'm at treatment I can study so that is good. As for your fistula not showing signs of life, I would go see your Vascular Surgeon ASAP, you don't wanna wait for that to fix itself. I know your parents just want the best for you, and I'm sure it's not easy for them to see you living this day after day.

Keep your chin up!