I need to RANT

[kitkatz]

Hold on there...folks... I did not say I do not believe in God.  I do not believe in the many organized religions' definition of what God is or should be to mankind.  I grew up and was taught God is a very vengeful God and will get you for your sins.  Even though God would forgive you your sins, you would still pay for wrong doing in some way.  God would judge you ultimately.  Well, I have always been found wanting in this area.
     As I grew up, my concept of God had to change, or I would have gone into the looney bin.  One cannot live with a God who is taking out his anger on you constantly.  I now believe in a God that is gentle and believes in me and my choices and abilities; and allows me to seek truth out for myself.  It is the only way I can really come to acceptance of my life and this disease I live with.  God did not give me this disease, somewhere I decided I wanted or needed to be challenged by it. 

Katherine

[kevno]

I have no problem with your faith Katherine, if you feel it helps you then that is great. I lost my faith a few years ago now. Which I have no problem with. I hope people respect me for my decision. I have never seen a light at the end of a tunnel. What I can say is I have looked down on myself when the crash team was working on me. I just say it must have been all the drugs they were pumping into me at the time to bring me around.

I now have this battle with my leg, it is up to me what I do in the end. Not much time left to make a decision.

It's seems to be all my life is, i just go from one battle to another battle. To stay alive.

[kitkatz]

It is one battle to another, as long as we win the war. 

Katherine

[Len]

 poor girl Kitkatz   try dialysis 6 times a week for 8 hours a crack  then see what rules your life   lol
 while I was at the clinic  I used to tell myself  this  was better than working for a living   now I cant say that anymore
but all in all  its not all  bad  with this new routine  as I dont feel dragged out after  any runs on Home Hemo

[Panda_9]

I pretty much eat what I want to eat, but have had to begin to cut out some things.  The longer I am on dialysis is seems the more foods I get sensitive to or the higher my numbers go. Never had a reaction to chocolate cake before this month. Itched like fricking crazy all night from it.  Off the list for sure.  Diet coke makes me itch.  And spicy foods make my hands tingle all the way to my finger tips. Weird huh?  I still eat spicy foods, but in moderation. I try to keep track of the itchy stuff. Geez I would hate to itch any more than I already do after dialysis.  I guess the longer you are at it the stronger some things affect you.
I absolutely hate for anyone to tell me what I can and can't have.  It sets up a stubborn butt in me that will not let it go! So naturally the renal diet makes me crazy!!! 

Katherine

I dont know your situation, but are you able to do home hemo? Im on nocturnal and the diet is free, and I have hardly any itching anymore!

[Padster]

Excellent post. How true it all is.

Stuff God though...he is totally overrated.