Introduction

[Rerun]

I found this site by typing in "People who hate dialysis" and found you. 

My kidneys failed without warning in 1987.  I was on hemodialysis for 6 months then switched to CAPD for 3 months and then received the "gift of life" which lasted 17 years.  I'm lucky......I guess.  But now I'm back on hemo with no hope for CAPD and probably no hope for another transplant.  I hate dialysis, I hate needles, I hate the Hickman catheter, I hate the sight of blood, I hate clots, I hate the stupid techs, I hate the stupid social worker, I hate the so called RN's!  I wish dialysis wasn't even an option.  It would be easier to die and I know I have that option and may take it when my kidney function gets less so the process won't take so long!  This is no quality of life!  Not even close!

[Epoman]

I found this site by typing in "People who hate dialysis" and found you. 

My kidneys failed without warning in 1987.  I was on hemodialysis for 6 months then switched to CAPD for 3 months and then received the "gift of life" which lasted 17 years.  I'm lucky......I guess.  But now I'm back on hemo with no hope for CAPD and probably no hope for another transplant.  I hate dialysis, I hate needles, I hate the Hickman catheter, I hate the sight of blood, I hate clots, I hate the stupid techs, I hate the stupid social worker, I hate the so called RN's!  I wish dialysis wasn't even an option.  It would be easier to die and I know I have that option and may take it when my kidney function gets less so the process won't take so long!  This is no quality of life!  Not even close!

WOAH! You are my kind of member. This site is PERFECT for you But seriously that was great you had a transplant for 17 years, WOW but that is one of the many reasons I do not want a transplant I don't want to get my life back and have it taken away again and go through starting dialysis all over again.

May I ask how old are you?

Also welcome to the board and I hope you come back to visit us often. This is a new site so we need "regulars" to help get this place started. Spread the word to people you know on dialysis.

Oh by the way thank you for letting me know how you found this site. It helps me see how my site is referenced on the net. So all you other members let me know too!

[Rerun]

I just turned 44 in July.  I know.... kids are on dialysis and my heart breaks for them. At least I had a good childhood and got through college before disaster hit.  You have a very valid point.  When you get a transplant you worry the whole time and wonder how long it will last.  I work for USDA and just finally got to the point in my career where I was doing well.  I know I could "try" and work, but the position I hold needs someone dependable and someone full-time.  I just don't see it working out.  I had NO intention of ever going back on dialysis, but here I am.  I'm divorced with no children.  But, I have sisters and several nieces and nephews who "think" they want me around.  I'm a pretty up-beat person except when I'm not feel well.  So, given that I feel like crap on dialysis I'm a bitch most of the time now.  Thank you for this site.  I just had my first session last night.  I hated it.  I had chills the whole time.  Would that indicate a dirty machine?  I live in Sacramento, CA, but have only lived here 4 years.  I'm originally from Spokane, WA and am considering moving back where I have a support system.  I hate the cold weather, but I don't thnk I can be on dialysis here alone.

[Epoman]

I just turned 44 in July.  I know.... kids are on dialysis and my heart breaks for them. At least I had a good childhood and got through college before disaster hit.  You have a very valid point.  When you get a transplant you worry the whole time and wonder how long it will last.  I work for USDA and just finally got to the point in my career where I was doing well.  I know I could "try" and work, but the position I hold needs someone dependable and someone full-time.  I just don't see it working out.  I had NO intention of ever going back on dialysis, but here I am.  I'm divorced with no children.  But, I have sisters and several nieces and nephews who "think" they want me around.  I'm a pretty up-beat person except when I'm not feel well.  So, given that I feel like crap on dialysis I'm a bitch most of the time now.  Thank you for this site.  I just had my first session last night.  I hated it.  I had chills the whole time.  Would that indicate a dirty machine?  I live in Sacramento, CA, but have only lived here 4 years.  I'm originally from Spokane, WA and am considering moving back where I have a support system.  I hate the cold weather, but I don't thnk I can be on dialysis here alone.

Thanks for the background on you. Read my introduction to hear my story. Currently I am 33 and have been on dialysis 11+ years Straight. I am glad you found this site and enjoy it. It makes me happy that you are thankful this site exists. That is the reason I built this site, so people like you could come and let out their frustrations.

As for the chills I think it is most likely they need to adjust the machines temperature so the blood going back is warmer. I don't think it was a dirty machine since the blood never enters the machine just the "lines" and "dialyzer".

Well even if you do move back to Spokane, WA we will still be here on the "web" for you to come and talk.

[LifeOnHold]

Hi Darla!

I'm sort of a 'vet' of dialysis-- ten years in-center hemo, 3 years on PD prior to that, a 3-year transplant before that.  I had a LOT of complications with my transplant, so much so that I feel tons better on dialysis.

I can relate to being a bitch most of the time!     (Actually, I was like that before I even got sick, but never mind!)  Glad you found the site!


--Darlene

[Rerun]

Darlene,

I have read some of your entries in this blog type website.  You are hiliarious!  It takes a lot to make me laugh these days and you are making the mark.  Thanks!

I'm feeling a little better this afternoon.  But, I hate this Hickman!  Although, I'm not looking forward to the needles either. 

Darla

[Rerun]

Epoman,

Thanks for the information on the chills.  I think you are right.  I just need to ask them to return the blood warmer.  I did have a blanket on me, but I'm going to take a jacket tomorrow.  Thanks for being here for me.  Darla~

[LifeOnHold]

Thanks for your thanks, Darla!   

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't still be alive unless I had a good sense of humor... I'm glad I can cheer people up.  What I think is cool about writing about my experiences is that I have probably given some people the will to keep going when they thought they couldn't... even though it's a tough life, I am helping people in my own way.

[Epoman]

Epoman,

Thanks for the information on the chills.  I think you are right.  I just need to ask them to return the blood warmer.  I did have a blanket on me, but I'm going to take a jacket tomorrow.  Thanks for being here for me.  Darla~

I am glad I can be, and that's what this site is all about. We need to be there/here for each other because NO ONE can understand what we go through until they have gone through it themselves. Thank you too for posting regularly we need more people like you to help get this place going.

[Rerun]

It all started for me 19 years ago today on June 7, 1987.  I remember being in ER and the doctor saying "How long have you had kidney problems?"  I looked at him and said "I don't have kidney problems, can't you just give me an antibiotic and let me go home?"
Boy was I stupid!!!   

Also, today my friend who tried to match me for a kidney gave one to a 41 year old woman.  Bless her heart and I sure hope all goes well for both of them.  I'm a little jealous though!  IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MEEEEEEEE!  (There, I couldn't tell that to just anyone)

[anja]

Hey, Rerun, some anniversary!  19 years is a terribly long time!  Sure hope you are on the list next for a transplant, if that is what you want!  Sorry your friend did not match YOU!  Thinking of you... Anja

[Hephs-little-lady]

Heph was diagnosed 1 year ago on the 7th June. His first ever dialysis was a year ago today.   Before then we'd didn't even know what dialysis was!

Sorry you didn't get your kidney. Thinking of you and hoping you are next. 

[anja]

Hope your year on dialysis has gone by quickly, Heph.  That was some way to get introduced to dialysis !  How scary !  I didn't know much about dialysis either until my dad was thrown into it almost 6 years ago. You sure can learn lots in a year, huh???  This board has been a big help in so many ways!- Wishing you the best, Anja