Dialysis Dad - Time to renew my handicapped parking sticker

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Dialysis Dad

It's time to renew my handicapped parking sticker. The concept that, because of my anemia, every step saved ultimately extends my energy level throughout the day was difficult to grasp.

By Erich Ditschman
Nov. 9, 2007

It is hard to believe that five years have passed since I first stood in line at the Secretary of State's Office. I was thirty-seven years old and the father of a one year old boy. My career just came to a screaming halt when my kidney's failed. A couple of summers earlier my wife and I had backpacked in the Grand Canyon and there I was standing in line asking the state to allow me to park within shuffling distance to a store.

When I looked in my mirror at home I didn't look any different, perhaps except for a few pounds put on by the peritoneal dialysate. Old people with walkers, or the folks who drive vans equipped with a hydraulic lift for an electric wheelchair, are who I thought needed handicap stickers. The concept that because of my anemia every step saved ultimately extends my energy level throughout the day was difficult to grasp. I am now a forty-two year old father of two. As a stay at home dad my day is filled with shuttling my son to school, soccer practice, and to friend's houses and my daughter to dance class and the YMCA. We shop, drop off mom's dry cleaning, go to movies and play in the park. When my three-year old daughter is tired, or has once again bumped her knee, she reaches out for me to pick her up. All of this is typical stuff for a stay at home parent.

Unfortunately, because of losing the use of my kidneys I'm not a typical parent. I require dialysis and regular shots of Epogen to keep going. Throughout the past six years I have had tremendous swings in my hemoglobin. At times just lifting my butt off the car seat has been a monumental task. It has only been since switching to short term daily home hemodialysis that I have found some stability in my energy levels. Even so, the everyday demands of “daddy day care” can take their toll. So, while I haven't been using my sticker recently, I know that the day will come that I will once again need to be within shuffling distance to store or restaurant. Tomorrow, I will once again stand in line at the Secretary of State's Office. However, this time my attitude is much different. I'm no longer concerned by the wayward glances of those suspicious of my use of the handicapped parking space. I no longer mourn the loss of the vitality I once had. Rather, I am happy with the time I now spend with my family and am thankful for any help that allows me to be a better father.

Erich is a stay-at-home father of two, a DaVita at Home NxStage dialysis patient, and a contributor in NN&I’s August patient empowerment issue. You will find more of his Dialysis Dad postings here at Nephronline.com.

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