how to explain to a 2-1/2 year old

[mima]

I don't know if this is the right forum for this, but I guess it fits as well as any.  It looks like I will be donating a kidney to my husband either the end of November or the beginning of December.  We have a 2-1/2 year old daughter who is too smart for her own good.  How do you prepare a toddler for what to expect when it comes to surgery and post-surgery?  I guess it breaks down to explaining why mommy and daddy will be away for a while (while we're in the hospital), and also how to explain that she has to be gentle with us, and that we won't be able to do all of the normal things after we are home until we recover.  What is an age-appropriate way of preparing her for all of this?  She is the kind of child who handles things much better when things are explained to her.  Do you know of any good age-appropriate books that might help her understand what is going on?  Also, we have to decide if we want her to come visit us in the hospital after surgery.  I would like her to be able to come see us, but I am worried about her having a hard time leaving again after the visit is over.  I guess one of my biggest worries is that she will see that I am worried about all of this when I explain it to her, I know I need to stay calm so that she can stay as calm as possible, and kids have a way of just sensing these things.
Does anyone else have any young children?  How have you handled this?  Any suggestions?
Thanks!

[goofynina]

You know Mima, sometimes even the smartest kids cant understand what we adult find as easy to understand.  There probably will be no "right time" to tell her mommy and daddy are going away, but just to let her know that she will be staying with whoever it is she is going to be staying with and you want her to be a good girl.  Have whoever she is staying with let her know that mommy and daddy have owies (or whatever you call it) and she has to be careful with you both.  I would check with the hospital and see what their policy is for allowing kids to come and see you, i know most hospitals are pretty strict about the age limit of visitors, so that will all have to be played by ear.   I think it is an awesome thing you are doing for your hubby and i applaud you    you are what we consider a true hero     Please keep us posted on how things are going for you both.   

[angela515]

I have 2 kids, they are 5 and 6 now, but when I first went on dialysis they were 2 and 3... and so I found it easy to prepare them for every surgery I had by just sitting them down and explaining it to them in the simplest terms possible for their age, that they knew when mommy was not home, she was gone, getting better.. and when I returned home, they had to be very careful with mommy b/.c mommy had some owies that needed to get better and mommy couldn't pick them up until her owies healed and stuff like that. My mom brought them up to see me during every surgery and even before and after my transplant to visit. They were prepared for the visit the same way, that they needed to be careful with mommy as she was healing, and they needed to leave after a short visit b/c mommy needed rest in order to come hom quicker and heal quicker.

I hope that helps some. Good luck!