Canada

[okarol]

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics,
these are some questions from people from all over the world.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the
questions were really asked!
 

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow?(England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.
 
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
 
Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
 
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
 
Q:It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
 
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list
of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
 
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the
hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
 
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.
 
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
 
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
 
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, We don't stink.
 
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
sell it in Canada?(USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
 
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
 
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
 
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
illegal.
 
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains
of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying
yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
 
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

[Bajanne]

     
Absolutely hilarious!!

It is like the questions people used to ask about the Caribbean - if we wear grass skirts, etc....

[keefer51]

Do you think Brenda would mind if i ask her these questions???

[KT0930]

The woman I share an office with is Canadian (and was an Olympian, btw), and I showed these to her a few months back. She said she's gotten asked some just as bad..."Do you have phones in Canada?" She told them "No, we tie tin cans together with long lengths of string". 

[brenda]

Too funny. A lot of people think we live in an iceberg in the iceage.

[kitkatz]

I thought you had a giant igloo and caught your own fish out on the ice!

[Sluff]

Some people think that of Wisconsin also. 

[kitkatz]

Yep, my daughter lives in a huge ice castle on the shores of Lake Michigan in Wisconsin. Hehehe

[aharris2]

It is like the questions people used to ask about the Caribbean - if we wear grass skirts, etc....

  Don't you?

 
Oh no, that's Hawaii and Hawaiians (not a part of the Caribbean, right?)

(just kidding!)