Dating Question - How and when do you bring up ESRD?

[Meinuk]

Sigh, it is true, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.  (actually, I'd settle for a plumber)

Good luck Tubes, I'm proud of you for getting out there.  (Susie would be too)

[twirl]

life's a dance, you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
I hope you dance
twirl

[florence]

My husband brought it up on the third date.  I appreciated knowing the information up front.  I think it requires sensitivity and understanding on both ends.  For the non dialysis person (such as myself), it's a lot of information to take in.  I knew nothing about dialysis before I met my husband.  I asked a lot of questions and we did have some arguments about it.  I was scared.  As a young person, thinking about your future and wanting to start a family, there's a lot of issues to think about.  But we were able to communicate about it all.  Just as he needed me to understand the issues associated with dialysis and his own fears, he needed to understand my own fears about being with someone with a chronic illness.  It's a two way street, but that's the case with any relationship.  I think when a chronic illness is involved, the issues are magnified. I believe it's necessary for both people involved to be open about communicating, even if it pushes your boundaries a bit.  It is not just the person without the illness that needs to be understanding.   In the end, though, it has resulted in a much stronger relationship between the two of us -- there is a lot that must be discussed and worked through early on in the relationship.  As you can tell, we did end up getting married, so for all of you out there looking for someone, it can and will happen.  What I really appreciated when I first met my husband (and still do) was his confidence.  In spite of everything, he was confident about who he was and what he wanted out of life.  That's incredibly sexy.  And perhaps I'm the crazy one for marrying someone with a chronic illness, but I've dated a lot of perfectly "healthy" men, and none of them measured up to my husband.

[Wallyz]

life's a dance, you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
I hope you dance
twirl

There's a song or two in that poetry, twirl. 

[monrein]

Very touching and true post Florence.  Thank you.

[Mercurial]

All but one knew I was on hemo before...  The one that didn't, I informed at the beginning.  I can't be attracted to someone that I don't feel I can be open with; it's not the way my mind/heart works.  Being an introvert, I'm difficult enough to get to know without having 'renal patient' in the equation and have strong reservations about letting anyone that doesn't fully understand the implications get close to me again.

Patience of granite, ocean of will.

M:>