i am not a monster, i am a human being!

[keefer51]

I want to thank every one that i have met on this site. Your kind words of encouragment and love have made me feel wanted. i already feel like i am part of this lovely family. I want to elaborate on a few things about myself. When i was on the operating table to have sperm extracted to have my son it was too much for my kidney. Since i always had some kind of problem with my solitary kidney my mind flashed back to when i was young and all the pain i had to go through. I went on dialysis for a year or so. My brother greg gave me one of his. After a year my exwife decided it would be good if we moved away to nashville tennesse with her job. It didn't take long for me to agree. A change would be nice. However when we got there she changed. I had no problem getting the meds that i needed. Since i had to quit my job in Pa. my ex put me on her insurance. When she met her new husband and divorced me i was shocked and didn't know what to do. I had just started my job at the newspaper. I was told i wasn't able to be insured until my thirty days was up. I was also told i was a high risk and they couldn't help insure me. My world was collapsing around me. I had a choice, come back to Pa and get my meds or stay there and see my children who i would miss. Since i went through so much to have them and i couldn't have anymore i decided to stay. I didn't know anything about cobra which i now know would have helped me. During the four years i spent with out the B.P. meds and the anti rejection meds i had to be taken to the hospital for high blood pressure. i had a "kidney fund" that was set up by friends and family back home. There was 19,000$ in it. Well way before the wife divorced me she took that money. since her name was on the fund she just signed my name and it was gone. So there i was with this new gift my brother had so lovingly gave to me. I prayed very hard those years my friends. I tried and delt with both issues set before me. Divorce and insurance. I had contacted the state run insurance in tennessee. They also were in a state of disaray. They said i made too much money. i told them 32% of my pay was child support. They didn't care. So it took four long years to finnally get insurace from my company. I think the laws had changed during that time. i was able to get my doctor i had when i moved there. She checked my kidney and was worried. The meds she gave me seemed to work but all the stress i had to go through hurt the kidney. It did last for ten years. I can't help but to wonder where i would be if she wouldn't have took the kidney fund money. My last few years in Tennessee i could feel myself getting sick and decided to move back to Pa. When i got home i moved to a apartment in the back of my parents home. It was there i had two heart attacks. I was also told my kidney was no longer functioning. It took a year or so for me to finnally sucomb to the fact i had to go back on dialysis. By the time my creatine was 10 i went on dialysis. I will always feel i let my brother down. I haven't heard from my children in 6 years. I have felt very wanted by joining this site. I look forward to hearing from all of you Thank you.

[Joe Paul]

Sorry to hear you've had such a rough time. Hopefully things will get better for you, hang in there.

[Sara]

Sorry for all you've had to go through.  Have you looked into legal recourse against your ex-wife?  What she did is just despicable.  By the way, your sig says you're looking for people your age to talk to about dialysis.  My husband is 37 and most of the people on this board are around this age range I think.

[George Jung]

It seems to me that kidney failure turns a person's life into a train wreck leaving us to clean things up for ourselves.  I am amazed to hear personal stories like this and how people overcome, good for you not to let life go.  I think there are many people here around your age or younger, I am 31.  Well, thanks for sharing your story and feel free to talk about whatever you like.  Taking legal action against the ex might is a good idea if you can make a case.

[nextnoel]

Welcome to the IHD Family - I'm sorry you've had such a rough time of it! 

[st789]

Wow, it is no wonder many of us decided to stay single not to add stress to our already problem with kidney.  You went though a lot with insurance and divorce.  How could she takes away your kidney fund knowing your livelikehood depends on it.  Hope you will get to see your children again.

[Rerun]

She will get her's.  Maybe not in this life-time, but she will get hers.  If you hire an attorney he will just suck what you have left dry.  You just need to take care of yourself so that when your kids are old enough to leave home you can be waiting for them.

[aharris2]

holy shit Keith, i would've killed the biotch!!!! but she will get what's coming to her, believe you me... keep up your good spirits and come to chat and relax for a while.


take care mate,

Rolando

[KICKSTART]

You will find great support here , there are many of us that have been in similar situations , without going into detail ,( because this is your thread) things will improve , there is light at the end of that long dark tunnel  and best of all ...what goes around ,comes around, as my gran used to say!

[Jill D.]

Wow, I'm always amazed when I hear about people like your ex. It's inhumane and selfish, and like Rerun said, she will get what's coming to her in this life or the next.

So glad you're here...we care, we listen, and hopefully we can bring a smile to your face on occasion too! 

[meadowlandsnj]

I want to thank every one that i have met on this site. Your kind words of encouragment and love have made me feel wanted.

Keith I'm so sorry about what happened to you.  She'll get what's due to her, it all catches up to you.  I lost a transplant also after ten years.  It was like losing a good friend.    But life does go on even on dialysis.

 

Donna

[paris]

Glad you are here, Keith. There are many of us in your age group.  Sorry about your children.  Someday they will figure out that they need to know their Dad. Life can really get messed up, can't it?

[keefer51]

to all of my dear friends, i am very sorry about what i posted about age. I have been at my center for three years. Until recently i was the youngest there. I have been afraid to be close to any one there. I was losing one person after another. Since they won't tell you anything about the person if they are sick or die. i would always find out later. i would sit there some days and wonder if i was next. I really enjoy talking to ALL people. I know this madness will take anyone of any age. Please forgive me. I am sorry if i hurt anyones feelings. Keefer

[Rerun]

to all of my dear friends, i am very sorry about what i posted about age. I have been at my center for three years. Until recently i was the youngest there. I have been afraid to be close to any one there. I was losing one person after another. Since they won't tell you anything about the person if they are sick or die. i would always find out later. i would sit there some days and wonder if i was next. I really enjoy talking to ALL people. I know this madness will take anyone of any age. Please forgive me. I am sorry if i hurt anyones feelings. Keefer

No worries.  It takes more than that to ruffle featheres around here.       

[Sluff]

keefer that is what we are here for. Rant if you must. You have taken a rough road in life. We are here to listen.

[anja]

Keith, you certainly let us in on a big part of your reality, and it truly has been a rough ride for you!
 So glad that you feel a part of this great community and can gain strength from it.

  I am sure you are a great father and one day the children will want to be a part of your life,  surely you formed a strong bond with them that they also miss.

 Divorces can be like that, pitting the children against the other parent... but kids are smart and will see for themselves what the truth is and whos love is strongest.

 We are glad to have you in the family and can feel your pain and frustration, keep staying strong and positive!        Anja

[carson]

No, you're not a monster - but it sounds like that ex of yours is!!
I've known too many women who could care less about the ex and only about the money. Why do ex's have to be so nasty? Why do people feel the need to destroy the person they once loved?
I don't get it. I could never be that way. I walked from my previous relationship. I didn't ask for anything more than what I brought into it, and half of the profit from our house after all bills were paid. My ex is not a bad man. I would never dream of hurting him like you were hurt. I wish only good things and happiness for him. I've moved on and met a great man with whom I hope to spend the rest of my life. But if we should separate down the road I will want only good things for him too. Life's too short - for some of us more than others!
You will get much support and love here Keith. We will do our best to help wherever we can. We're like the boyscouts!!!
 

[carolyn77531]