Hubby not coping well with my disability

[PrimeTimer]

Hate to say it but I almost wouldn't mind living in an assisted living place RIGHT NOW. The idea of someone coming in to do light housekeeping, just taking a short stroll over to the cafeteria for a hot meal and having beautiful grounds to walk or to sit and relax outdoors or to meet with friends in an activity area sounds, well...nice!   *sigh*   When we retire, we'll be lucky if we can afford a room to rent with a communal bathroom down the hall and a MacD's in walking distance. We've had to start our lives over so many times it ain't funny. This is it. No more climbing. Still, nice to dream about assisted living places! 

[beckums70]

I know this is an old thread, but I started reading through the caregiver experiences page and the amount of spousal abuse here has just floored me. 

Illness does not give anyone the right to mistreat you!!!  If you were mistreated prior to your or your partner's illness, you will continue to be abused afterwards.  You are NOT morally bound to stay with someone who mistreats you and VERBAL ABUSE is every bit as evil and bad and damaging as physical abuse!!!  Never downplay abuse because he's not hitting you.  The last thing you need when you're already dealing with ESRD and dialysis is an abusive partner.  You will fare better on your own without a caregiver at all.  I do!

Your partner's health is NOT your responsibility alone.  They can order their own supplies and medications.  They can help around the house, they CAN and should do things for themselves!  If you are doing everything for them besides chewing their food, you're doing too damn much.  Step back, set some boundaries, stand up for yourself.  Remember too that when you help too much you aren't helping at all.  If you do too much for someone you make them learn to be helpless and you make your own life harder.

My heart breaks to see so many people being mistreated and choosing to put up with it because their partner is sick.  Sickness is not an excuse for evilness.