newbie

[heapy]

Hi everyone, I am 38 years old and crashed with stage 5 end stage renal failure 4 months ago. Obviously this came as a massive shock as I had no warning whatsoever, I was rushed into hospital with breathing difficulties. Turns out my kidneys had failed due to long term undiagnosed high blood pressure (hypertension). I am now on nightly eight hour PD dialysis at home. I have joined this forum as I am struggling to come to terms with what has happened and find it difficult to open up to family and friends as they all see me as being strong and to be able to easily cope (not that easy though is it!!).

Heapy

[Poppylicious]

  Heapy! 

... not that easy though is it!!

Nope.     (And I say this as the non-patient; it's my Blokey who was on haemoD, but he's fortunately now had a transplant.)

[obsidianom]

Welcome. we are here to help. Just ask.

[Genlando]

I have joined this forum as I am struggling to come to terms with what has happened and find it difficult to open up to family and friends as they all see me as being strong and to be able to easily cope (not that easy though is it!!).

Heapy

Welcome to the IHD Forum!

I discovered that I had Stage 5 kidney failure without any warning.  Sure, I knew I had high blood pressure; however, I never expected things to deteriorate so quickly: on Monday, I worked a 12-hour day, and drove over 300 miles; the next day, I was in ICU with ESRD and congestive heart failure.  My employer found out that I was severely sick, and they terminated me over the phone while I was still in the ICU.

It took me several months to get over the loss of my previous life.  Eventually, however, I realized that things would've been a lot worse: I would've ended up with cancer, or a heart attack.  Really, as long as you keep up with your treatments and watch your diet, you can live a LONG time on dialysis.  Sure, my life without dialysis may be over; however, my life now isn't so bad.  Just give yourself a little time, and you'll see what I mean. 

And above all else, don't hesitate to talk about your problems and frustrations here on IHD. 

[Angiepkd]

  heapy!  You have found a great place to vent and ask questions!  We have all been through those same emotions as we entered the wonderful world of D.  Hang in there!  It does get better over time as you get into a routine.  Letting your family and friends know how hard it is can be very difficult.  I keep the smile on my face as I lie and say I am doing great.  Truth is, I am angry that I am dealing with all this.  I am sad for the life I have lost to the D machine.  I feel guilty and ashamed about the stress I have put on my husband.  I have learned that no one wants to hear it.  They want me to be strong and fine with everything, so that is what I tell them.  That is what makes this site so wonderful.  Real people who know how you feel and give you permission to let it out!  I have been doing home hemo for 6 months, and it really isn't that bad.  I feel better than before I started.  I have more energy.  I can deal with the hours on the machine, because it beats the alternative!  While my current life isn't what I expected, I still get to spend time with my friends and family, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to continue that.  All things considered, I am alive and able to do most of the things I did before.  For that, I am thankful!  Hope you do great on PD!  Looking forward to hearing more from you!

[UkrainianTracksuit]