Grrrr, arrrggghhh

Some days you just get so frustrated and fed up with medical stuff. My hubby has a cardiologist who has vascular surgeons as part of the practice. But the neph suggested we go to his guy to talk about getting the fistula now, before we need it. We spent 3 1/2 hours at this new doctor, going over, again all the things wrong with Walt. Credit to this doc, he said why don't you just say what he hasn't got. And sometimes I forget these guys have egos. New doc said he would gladly take over all the vascular issues, no problem, wouldn't that be a good idea. And I'm thinking no, I'm happy with less doctors, and their offices, and their billing and all the aggravation. And it's not like we're really looking forward to getting this fistula, and certainly not looking forward to dialysis in the future. The cardio, the neph and the primary care all agree that he should get the fistula now, let it get healed up. Because Walt is going to need an angiogram, then 2 weeks later probably have to get a stent in his leg opened, again. And even though they do know how to reduce the dye, and all the other measures to reduce damage to the kidneys, it's still going to damage them further. And we have said save the leg. And it's not really an option, Walt has many stenosis's in his carotid arteries, so an amputation would probably kill him. And at least dialysis is available. So the new doctor is saying, he's fine, he doesn't need anything done right now. Which is kind of what I want to hear, but I don't believe him. I think he's saying what he thinks I want to hear. And the one doctor I really like, respect, whatever is the primary care and he said go ahead and get it done now.

I guess what I'm saying is last night I called my bff, and she let me carry on, and use the f word numerous times, and scream about all this stuff. And this morning the urge to scream was back, and I though, hum, post on IHD and get it out of my system. So thank you, now I feel it all sliding off me.