12 Politically Correct Days of Christmas

[okarol]

12 Politically Correct Days of Christmas

A partridge in a pear tree rehash in light of our over sensitive times

OK, everyone,

sing along, cadence notwithstanding ...

On the 2th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 8-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,

(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

and...

ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Merry Christmas! Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa?

Oh, heck!

Happy* Holiday!!!!

(unless otherwise prohibited by law)

* Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with a suggestion that your have a thoroughly adequate day.

[kitkatz]

 

[Bajanne]

 

And here again is my politically correct season's greetings:
 
TO all those to whom these presents may come, reasonable wishes are offered for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, winter solstice holiday, practised within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice any religion at all.
Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated perseveration of the calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, whose contributions have helped make our world great, without regard to the race, creed, colour, religious or sexual preferences, of the wishees.

Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It implies no promise by the wisher actually to implement any of the wishes for himself or others and accepts no responsibility for any unintended emotional or other stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit, or to those who fail to receive any of the benefits wished for them, or that they themselves wish for.

In this context, felicitations to all.

[glitter]

 

[okarol]