Hiring Live-In Home Help

[kiddogal]

Hi All,

I am considering hiring in home caregiving help at some point down the road. Not sure I could even afford this, but I told my husbund I would never put him in a nuring home unless there is no other option.  We have an extra bedroom and it is only my husband and I that live in our home. My husband is becoming less mobile, medical issues are increasing, and I drive him to dialysis 3 days per week.  He has pain in his hip and back, so he is unable to walk very far.  He has COPD, is on oxygen, can hardly see and has hearing problems.  In between dialysis,  it is doctors and hospitals. I have a sucessful business but the last 8 months I have hardly been at the office (thank goodness for my dedicated staff). I am getting caregiver burnout, and physcial and mental burnout. It would be so nice just to get up and let someone else handle the tough stuff while I do the things I need to do with my business or actually take a day off just for me  .......Anyway.......

It seems like in the long run it would be less expensive to have a live in than paying the $20.00 per hour to some caregiving company to have someone here for the day or a few days or more per month. Do any of you have live in help? Do you pay a salary + room, or salary + room + food, or I live in Southern Calfornia where I figure it will cost me more to have live in help. How do you handle worker's compensation, if you do offer it? Are they there to help 24/7 (depending upon needs) or do you give them 2 days off per week? Is it better to have a male or female caregiver? ( I think because my husband will eventually require more physical care I am considering a male caregiver).   I would make sure they go through an extensive background check and check references very thoroughly.

Any advice, stories, suggestions, help, is greatly appreciated!

[jbeany]

The room and board with a small salary option sounds good in theory, but finding someone to do it was the issue for me when I was trying to arrange it for my 93 year old grandmother.  Anyone decent was working through a company so they could get health benefits, not just a salary.  Few wanted to live with their patient full time - the only way to truly get a day off then, of course, is to leave the house completely.  I was in a small town, so there may be more people willing to do this where you are at - but anyone who wanted a privately paid live-in situation had a waiting list a mile long where I was at.

I did try to live with my Gram at first, but my own health issues made that impossible, so I started with a professional company to come in twice a day for 4 hours each shift.  The first shift came in the morning and made sure Gram got her AM pills, breakfast, and lunch right before they left.  The evening shift came at dinner time, helped her shower and prepare for bed, and made sure she got her PM pills.  This worked well for a while, but she got progressively worse, and as her mental problems got worse, the different staffers coming and going made her more upset.  (She ordered one young girl out the door and locked it on her!)  Eventually, we shifted to overnight care, and then to full time.  Full time care was usually 48 hour shifts, and they slept in the spare room.  It was easier on my Gram - fewer faces, and the staff who worked full time shifts were fewer in number, so she saw only 3 different people a week usually. The overnight care was actually cheaper per hour - they paid the staff less when they were allowed to sleep.

At some point after Gram passed, I totaled all the bills from the staffing company.  5 months of home care in ever increasing amounts cost over $70,000.  Thankfully, Gram had the funds, and was able to stay in her home until the end. 

Oddly, after her initial fuss about having a man care for her, Gram preferred her male caregiver the most.  Part of the service was meal prep and housekeeping, and I think she was fascinated with the idea of having a good-looking, strong young man cook and clean for her. 

[smcd23]

You might want to talk to your state Dept on Aging to see if they have suggestions. Sometimes they know of options that you may not think of. You said you live in CA so I found these sites http://www.aging.ca.gov/ and http://www.cdss.ca.gov/cdssweb/PG63.htm

You may want to give some of those departments/organizations a call and see what information they can offer. I know that anything linked to welfare/dept of health and human services might not be the easiest to deal with, but they may be able to give you some information, or steer you in the right direction to determine what all your options are.

Do you have any volunteer organizations that could maybe help with the driving to appointments? We have one locally here but there is a wait list. Might be something to look into so you don't have to be responsible for all of the transport and can have some time off.

[kiddogal]

Thank you both for your suggestions...I didn't think about health insurance, but I am sure if this was a full time caregiving job they would want it.  Also, yes, their chances of getting a full day off probably would only work if they left the house.   the cost of home helpers is so expensive, but maybe just 3-4 hours three to four times a week would be possible.  My grandson who is 22 came out last summer for about 10 days, what a Godsend he was!  He would take my husband (his grandfather) to dialysis and out to breakfast  - I was totally in heaven the entire time my grandson was here.  He is about to graduate from college, and will probably be hunting for work soon but in case he does not get hired right away, I may see if he wants to "help" out again, but this time pay him a nice allowance for helping us!!!

[justme15]

Is your husband a veteran?  Not sure about CA, but in Georgia, The VA will pay for caregivers to help a few hours a day.

[smcd23]

You could also try looking at local colleges for students who are nursing majors. College is expensive enough without room and board so if you could find the right student with the right schedule perhaps you could work something out there. My BIL used to work for care.com and I believe he said they also posted jobs for home care. Maybe check them out too? I'd say the best place to start would be to figure out exactly what you need the person to do - what hours would be most helpful for you and tasks you'd need them to handle and go from there. I'm sure it's a daunting task to set this all up.

[kiddogal]

The idea about some nursing students who need room and board or part time work is a good one.  We have a local community college that has a nursing school so that might be a place to look.  Also, my husband is a veteran, but I think that because of your income level, we would not qualify.  It worked great for my mom though, she was a WWII Veteran and the VA paid her $1500 a month which helped with assisted living for her when she no longer could care for herself.  It was wonderful!