Process to donate a kidney---who's donated and how.

[johnswife]

My husband has kidney failure and has stopped dialysis almost 2 weeks ago. He is not a candidate for a transplant but I have seen what my family has went through!! I wanted to know what is the process of donating a kidney? Has anyone done this on here and please tell me how was surgery? Healing time? Ect. I'm honestly considering donating one of mine in honor of him after he passes. I'm a healthy 40 year old non smoking mother of 6. I just wouldn't know where to start if this is what I decide to do. I'm just trying to think of a good way to honor him and couldn't think of anything better.

[Sax-O-Trix]

I am the recipient of a kidney from my oldest brother.  My transplant was preemptive.  My brother was 60 years old when he donated and was out of the hospital in less than 48 hours.  The tests required of donors were the worst part of the process for him, he did not appreciate the needles, uncomfortable tests nor the extensive personal questions.    He was retired when he donated, but came out of retirement a few months after donating to take on a new managerial-type full-time job!  He said he was bored...

I read your story on the general discussion.  Witnessing your beloved husband's decline has to be unbearable.  I was hoping someone would be able to talk him into seeking more dialysis treatment, but it's hard not to respect his wishes.  From what you have described, he has been through the proverbial ringer.  May peace be with you, him and your children.

Your thoughts of being an altruistic donor in honor of your husband's struggle are noble, but you have six children to think about.  I am an "only" parent of two as my husband passed away unexpectedly at age 30 from a cardiac arrhythmia from being dehydrated.  What if one of your children needs a kidney in the future?  What if you don't make it through surgery?  If all of your children were grown, stable and have excellent health, then would be the possible time to consider donating to a stranger.   Just my 

[lmunchkin]

Yes I agree with S-O-T. You need to take care of yourself & those kids.  Your husband would want that Im sure.  Although, it is a very sweet to honor him in that way, but you need to wait on that IMO.  You have enough on you right now, no need to do something out of emotions you are feeling. Just relax and take care of what is taking place now.  It is hard enough for the whole lot, so just concentrate on matter at hand. You'll have plenty of time in the future to do that if you want.  God Bless you for the desire to do it.  The thought was there and he knows your heart and intentions. Not saying not to do it, but wait awhile!

keep us posted Johnswife & we are here for you!

Prayers go out to you and John & your whole family.
lmunchkin

[amanda100wilson]

I agree with the others.  My dear, you sound lke a wonderful person to consider this but your duty must be towards those children who must be so sad to see their dad this way.  My thoughts ate with you and to poor Johm who has been through more than any human being should have to endure.

[Poppylicious]

I think the idea of donating (if you're able) would be a wonderful thing to do in honour of your husband.  I don't imagine it's something you'd jump into immediately, nor something you would consider without discussing the pros and cons with family and friends.  I doubt you'd do it without the blessing/support of all your children either.  So, yes ... a wonderful idea. It isn't something you need to be thinking about in too much detail right now, although I can understand why you might need something positive to focus on.

If you do decide to go through with it (and you ARE allowed to back out at any point) then you have to go through rigorous and sometimes oft-repeated testing, including a psychological evaluation.  I'm not sure where you'd start; my donation was directed rather than non-directed, and I'm in the UK so it's different on many counts, although much of the testing is similar and obviously the surgery/post-surgery is pretty much standard (I think).

Sending you and John (and your children) many *huggles*. 

 

[smcd23]

I agree with what everyone else said about taking care of yourself and the kids first.

Once things have settled, and you still feel like donating, I can tell you what the testing was like for me. It was long, started with a 24hour urine collection and labs. Then once that was good, I had to go meet with "the team" and be evaluated by the psychiatrist, social worker, nephrologist, surgeon and coordinator. For testing I had to have a 3D CT scan with contrast (which I found I am allergic to), a renal ultrasound, some nuclear test where they had to see if both my kidneys did equal work, lots of blood work and lots of urine collections and follow ups along the way. The whole process took about 2 months or so, maybe a little more.

I am sure if you do a non directed donation, you will have more testing, especially the psychological part to make sure you're truly altruistic. Good luck, I am sure this all must be very hard on you.