I can't eat at your house

[Deanne]

How do you tell someone that after your transplant, you can't/won't eat at her house anymore?

One of my neighors is a very kind senior woman who incurred a brain injury several years ago, before I moved here. She isn't quite "normal," maybe because of the brain injury; maybe that's just the way she's always been. She invites me over once a month, but most of the time I manage to dodge her requests. She doesn't have good sanitation habits. Her home is somewhat hoarded and filthy. She said she doesn't think germs are harmful. She also says double-dipping is fine. 

I've watched her prepare food. She sticks her hand into it to see if it's warm enough. Did I mention she likes to garden, doesn't wear garden gloves and her hands/nails are embedded with dirt? Luckily, I don't think she cooks anything from scratch. She get pre-done stuff that she can microwave. Even so, she doesn't microwave it until it's heated very thoroughly, and I saw the state of her microwave. Then there was the time when she mentioned peeing in her yard, just before she dumped a plate of lava cakes on the ground, put them back on the plates and handed them out.

I can't imagine it being safe eating at her house after transplant. I doubt anyone should ever be eating at her house, transplant or not! I'd like to somehow tell her this sooner rather than later, but I don't want to tell her in an insulting way.

Suggestions?

[willowtreewren]

Temper your revelation with sadness.

Something like this: My transplant comes with so many restrictions. I can't even eat at buffets any more. I'm sad that I'll have to pass on eating at friends' houses, too.

That way you aren't singling her out. We won't even do Subway anymore. Better safe than sorry!

Aleta

[Deanne]

Great solution! Short, simple and very non-offensive. Thank you!!!!

[jbeany]

My gram's cooking got iffy the older she got, too.  What is it with old people and the unwrapped bits of food in the fridge. anyhow?  We always ordered take-out and used paper plates.  You might think about taking a full picnic lunch with you and tell her that you've got so much more energy with the transplant, you're going to treat her now instead of her taking care of you.