Question for caregivers

[kevinswife]

What do you do while your loved one is being dialized? 

The dialysis center that my husband went to in the late 1990's would let me sit with him during treatment.  I used to take him to dialysis on Saturdays (my day off from work).  Sometimes we would watch a movie or TV together.  He received a kindney transplant in 1999.  The kidney recently stopped working and he is back on hemo.  We moved from California to Virginia a few years ago.  The center that he goes to now, will not allow visitors.  When my son and I pick my husband up from the center, we have to wait in the waiting room.  Luckly, the dialysis center is only about 2 miles from our house.  I feel like I should be more productive with my time while my husband is being dialyzed.  I should be using my time wisely by getting chores done around the house.  I can't seem to get motivated.  I do have a load of clothes in the washer and another load in the dryer.  I should be cleaning the house in between loads of laundry, but here I am messing around on the computer.

[boswife]

Well hi kevinswife (from boswife  )     When Bo was doing dialysis, though i was alloud in there with him, i would usually only stay for a bit, do a snack or coffee run for other patients, go around and enjoy their company, then leave for the bulk (of most of the sessions) of his time there.  He had me get a gym membership so i could go jacuzzi with daughter, swim or what ever there.  Then, i would grab my doggies and go to dog park.  Sometimes even shop.  Often, i would come home (he was the 7-11 slot) and make myself my special breakfast and watch a silly show that only i would like and then take to the cleaning chores.  I really loved this time    But................ now, he's home with nxStage so i basacally do what needs doing 'while' hes on D and so when he's off, we can do what we want w/0 having chores to do when he's done.... Im really happy he's home, but i can honestly say with some guilt attached, i miss having those hours to do just what i wanted and know he's being cared for.  (i really loved the people at his center so that was a big pluss)

[del]

Hubby's on nocturnal home hemo so we sleep while he's  doing dialysis.  He did 6 years in center - over an hours drive from our house.  I was allowed in after everybody for the shift was hooked up but had to leave again when people started to be taken off the machines.  I would wait in the waiting room - made many friendships there- while I waited to be allowed in.  I would get him whatever he needed and sometimes stay.  I would go to the mall some days but you can only buy so much stuff and I really don't like window shopping!!  I would only get to go with him on Saturdays as well.  I read MANY books while I was waiting for him.  There was a TV in the waiting room but there was never much on to watch in the mornings especially Saturday mornin.

[Poppylicious]

My Blokey was on haemoD in the evenings after work.  He drove himself home afterwards.  I just lazed around three evenings a week so I fully applaud your messing around on the computer! Why not use the time as Me-Time?

 

(of course, I only work part-time and have no children, plus I'm the sort of person who likes my alone-time very much.) 

If Blokey has to return to haemoD I know that I'm allowed in with him, should he want me there.  It seems a bit silly that dialysis patients aren't allowed visitors (it's a long time to be 'alone') in some places. 

[MooseMom]

I would try to get down to Houston to visit my mom while she was on D.  I'd drive her to and from, and while she was at the clinic, I'd run myself ragged doing the shopping and the cleaning and the laundry so that she wouldn't have to do it when she got home.

Whenever she'd come up here to Chicago, I'd do pretty much the same.  I'd drive her to and from D, and then I'd start dinner or do all of the other domestic chores so that when she wasn't on the machine, we'd have more quality time together.

Whenever she was on D, I'd run myself ragged, and that was really hard seeing as how my own renal function was crap.  But I tried really hard to do as much domestic work for her.

[looneytunes]

When hubby was in center on hemo (we do NxStage at home now), one clinic he was in (a DCI facility) did not allow visitors so I would either wait in the lobby area where they had a TV, do needlework or read, or go shopping.  The next facility he went to (A Fresenius clinic) did allow visitors so  sometimes I would visit with him.  But mostly, like Boswife, I would take off and have some "me time".  Both of these clinics were far enough from home that it was not feasible for me to go home and then back to pick him up. 

Now at home, I also miss those days where someone else had the responsiblity of taking care of him while he was hooked up but overall, am glad he has the option to D at home where he is more comfortable during his time in the chair. 

[bevvy5]

Hubby is training for home hemo right now but we were very lucky in that we lived about three minutes away from the hospital where he had to go.

I work a lot so would take him, make sure he's okay on the unit and go home.

[SteveK87]

My wife does home hemo and while she is on the machine I usually clean or do laundry.  The house we just moved into is a nice set up because she does treatment in the den, which is right next to both the kitchen and laundry room.  Other times I sit with her the whole time and watch a movie or watch her favorite tv shows.  Another thing is I wait near the end of her treatment and start dinner.  She hardly has an appetite but while on the machine she cant stop snacking or craving food.  I guess thats a good thing though.  My current goal is replacing her eating the potato chips with snacking vegetables    No matter what I'm doing though I'm always in the area of talking distance just in case she needs something and am always checking on her regardless is she notices it or not.

[kevinswife]

Sounds like a lot of folks have made the switch to home hemo.  I don't remember home hemo being an option 15 years ago when my husband first started dialysis.  He started with PD, but had problems with paratinitus.  He kept getting infections every 28 days!  It was crazy   He switched to hemo in center before getting a kidney/pancreas transplant in August 1999. 

Steve, I am impressed that you do laundry, cook and clean!  Your wife is a lucky lady to have such a helpful husband!

My husband only does laundry if I am out of town.  However, he is the main bread winner in the family and works 48+ hours a week.  He is getting ready to go back to work at the end of the month.  He was in the hospital for 18 days when we found out that is transplanted kidney failed after 12 years.  He will be working nights so that he can go to hemo dialysis three days a week during the day.  They do not offer nocturnal dialysis at a center near us.  He would like to do home hemo dialysis, so that he can work during the day.  I work part time around our son's school schedule.  I am thankful that I've been able to be home when our son is off school.