coworkers : insensitive

[MooseMom]

  I don't tell anyone anything!  I had a breast lump removed and didn't tell my husband until the day before surgery - trying to spare him the worry! When I had a huge tumor, the doctor wanted to know if I wanted my husband to see the xray so he could see how large it was.   No, he will just worry too much.   
Mcclane,  I don't understand mean people.  Do they think they are funny, smart or just like to put others down?   Let us know how things go.

I can understand not wanting to worry people; I often keep silent about my fears with my husband because, well, he's heard it all before and I just keep repeating myself.  And, I don't want to give him one more thing to stress about.  He has a stressful job, and I want to spare him.

But I wouldn't hesitate to tell someone I have CKD if I thought it would shut them up and keep them from bullying me or anyone else.  I viscerally hate bullies.  When I was younger, I was known to get into a few fights when I saw one kid bully another.  And I mean physical fights.  I don't understand mean people, either.

[stuman413]

I know that I have never been put into this situation personally, but my response would be to go directly to my boss and tell them that this person is being insensitive to my health needs.  Most places have harassment rules that include health.  The boss would then handle the situation as they see fit, keeping your privacy for you.  I think that that would be the professional thing to do if you want to keep your health issues private.

However, if the person just pissed me off one day, I would wait till they leave that evening and confront them in the parking lot and tell them off.  Course thats just me 

[lmunchkin]

I know growing up, people would tease & bully me about my size!  It really never bothered me, cause it happens to be true.  But I did not like it when someone would bully another individual.  That was upsetting!

lmunchkin

 

[Sluff]

Mind you, people who know me know that I am an easy going kind of guy.  I don't take offence to many things, it takes alot to offend me.  However, the actions of this person really offended me.  I'm not the type of person that tells everyone what my medical condition is.  So I'm not about to tell this coworker as it is really none of her business (my boss has to know, she has to know why i am taking so much doctor's appointments).

However, she should really get her facts straight before making cynical remarks.  Being on dialysis, we all know it is not fun being hooked up to a machine for hours.  Nor is it any fun to poke yourself with huge horse needles.  Nor is it any fun to go to the doctor's either.  But it is something we all do so we can live.  The last thing we really need is someone making cynical/sarcastic remarks about our medical condition.

While they get to go home every night, you get to go to dialysis. They have no clue.

[mcclane]

update : this particular person and myself did get into a 'heated' discussion regarding work related issues.  we were both in agreement about the issues of work.

during the conversation, i eluded to my poor health.  I didn't get into specifics, but i did mention to her that at this point in my life, there are 2 things that I put as #1 priorities.  my wife, and my health since it sucks bad.  She didn't say much about my health issues, and she seemed a little taken back, but at the same time had some understanding as to why i take alot of appointment/sick time from work.  I'll leave it at that for now, but she does know my health sucks.

[CebuShan]

With any luck, she'll think twice before making any more rude comments!

[RichardMEL]

That seems more positive that there's a connection (of sorts) been made and perhaps the mutual agreement about the work stuff helped her to see you as someone she can 'work with" (so to speak) and perhaps make her more open to seeing things from a different point of view.

I hope this continues to work out

[kitkatz]

I say 

I have had people walk up to me at work and say things like: "So and sos brother died on dialysis."   Thanks, but why did you tell me that.

[MooseMom]

You'll have to let us know how things go now that there seems to be some modicum of an understanding between you.  I hope she won't give you any more problems.  Life is tough enough without having co-workers pile on.

[mcclane]

at this point, i'm debating whether to get into specifics or just to leave it as it is.  I am still uncomfortable discussing medical issues with anyone, and I hate bringing medical issues into the work place. 

I may just leave it as it is, as she is aware that my health does suck and hopefully she can make a connection between my health and numerous appointments.

[MooseMom]

If you're that uncomfortable, leave things as they are.  You've already alluded to your health problems; hopefully she is smart and sensitive enough to pick up on your clues.  If so, then there is no need to divulge more information.  You can do that later if you see that you'll need to.

[lmunchkin]

I would leave it be!  Until she pulls this stupidity again!  Hopefully, she won't. 

lmunchkin   

[glitter]

If she can't- screw her- you dont have to tell your private medical issues or make a lesson out of it- not everyone is comfortable doing that! 

[kyshiag]

Sounds like a hostile work environment to me.  So, I'd mention it to her quietly first and, if that did not work,  I'd go to the manager to report the harassment and expect swift follow-up