Had to move on over here

[Vicky]

Well I went and talked to Dave on Thursday, he tried everything to get me to stay from more empty promises to threats to sell my Jeep.  All I asked him for was my Jeep and the cell phones since he barely uses his.  He wanted me to stay at the house for a few months and he would do this for me and that for me and I can't do it.  So I got, you can do it but you don't want to.  Yup I don't want to and can't do it.  So I'll start packing tomorrow after work and I'll go from here.  Sister put in a bid for a house in Arizona so if they get it I'll stay here for the winter in their house, if not I'll find an apartment in town I can afford.  Fun times.

[The Noob]

 

[Chris]

Vicky, after the initial stress wears off, you will be beter off for your own health. I hope you finally get some rest from the hectic lifestyle that was going on. Enjoy the Arizona sceneray if you go out there.

[The Noob]

email girlfriend

[okarol]

Well I went and talked to Dave on Thursday, he tried everything to get me to stay from more empty promises to threats to sell my Jeep.  All I asked him for was my Jeep and the cell phones since he barely uses his.  He wanted me to stay at the house for a few months and he would do this for me and that for me and I can't do it.  So I got, you can do it but you don't want to.  Yup I don't want to and can't do it.  So I'll start packing tomorrow after work and I'll go from here.  Sister put in a bid for a house in Arizona so if they get it I'll stay here for the winter in their house, if not I'll find an apartment in town I can afford.  Fun times.

It sounds like you're taking care of yourself and that's a good thing. It's hard for a patient to be cheerful and grateful all the time when chronically ill, but how long can loved ones cope with the negativity? Good luck to you.

[Vicky]

Today he asked me for $1,000 and he would pay three months of my jeep payment, I was like that is more than three payments so he upped it.  Like I have $1,000 to give him when he gets $4,000 a month between SSD and his retirement.  he says he will turn the phones over to me, so i'll try to get that done tomorrow.  I moved my cats today and they are pretty mad at me.  One is hiding under the bed and scares me, last time I moved them I almost lost one of them, he got so sick.  So hopefully they'll be okay.

[Chris]

Well if you have all the info on the car payments, have the bills switched over to your new address and bank account if auto deduction is used to save your Jeep.
 
Seems he wants to extort you now andto hurt you more than try to do anything to help himself.

[Vicky]

they are in his na0me tho that is the problem i'm facing right now.  I have one of the cats sitting on the desk with me trying his best to help me type, the other one slept in my arms all night.  now i'm off to work and hopefully get some more packing done tonight

[looneytunes]

Aw Vicky...what a tough spot.  I would give him the exact amount of the Jeep payment each month before it is due  (by check with proper notations on it or even made out to the Lender) and remind him that the courts can decide the issue if the two of you can't resolve it.   It doesn't really matter whose name is on the title as long as it was purchased while you were married. 

Hang in there GF, this part is the hardest.  Do something nice for yourself every day.   

[Deanne]

I'd be very suspicious about handing him money for your jeep payment. Do you have a way to confirm he's actually making the payments? My friends laugh at my lack of trust for people, but I'd be worried that he'll pocket the cash and you'll end up having the jeep repossessed. Is there a way to refinance it so it's in your name?

[Desert Dancer]

DON'T give him any money. He can't even take his own medications, what makes you think he's going to make the car payment? Make sure you pack the payment book and do it yourself.

Do you have your own bank account or is it a joint account? Speaking from hard experience, withdraw money from the bank for your living expenses in the immediate future, just in case he decides to be vindictive and withdraw everything out from under you.

I hate to sound paranoid, but he sounds quite manipulative to start with and there's really no telling what a person will do in this situation, even if you think you know them. I know you want to try to be nice and accommodating to him to cushion the blow, but right now you need to be thinking about protecting yourself.

[Vicky]

I already set up a new bank account because they would not let me just take his name off it even tho it was my account to start with, which in a way is good since I don't have to mess with stopping autopays I had set up.  I did all the bills so he doesn't even know where to pay what.  I had to show him what pills he's supposed to take and when. 

Now he's saying he might have to stay here for a few months if he can't get a loan from the bank to move with.  You don't need a driving u-haul to move with what he plans on taking with him!!!!!

I did my jeep payment on line, i just have to have something in writing that shows it is mine after it's paid off and I can log on and do the payments.

[Chris]

I'd be very suspicious about handing him money for your jeep payment. Do you have a way to confirm he's actually making the payments? My friends laugh at my lack of trust for people, but I'd be worried that he'll pocket the cash and you'll end up having the jeep repossessed. Is there a way to refinance it so it's in your name?

My thought to Deanne, pocketing the money. especially when it doesn't seem he likes to  do much.
 
Just throwing it out there, but not saying to do it, Forgery of some sort. "CBS Cares!" (Late Night With Craig Ferguson.
 
Whether it be taking control of the payments in his name via online payments, making an address change so you get a payment book sent to your address and future notices, having automatic deductions from your bank account to the payment center.
 
Where there is a will, there wil be a way to keep your Jeep!

[Chris]

Oh, and once you get the title of your Jeep, his signature can be done by anyone other than yours so you can have the title in your name and your name alone. That's how it happens in Illinois the last couple times I had to do it and one auto deal did not even care, they just needed a signature from one person on the title. Of course this will cost money to do, but worth doing.

[Vicky]

First step done, got the phones in my name so now i still have connection to the world. now to work on how to get the Jeep over in my name!!!!!  Got some stuff packed and moved already and still got a lot more to do.  Finally got a day off so I can really work on getting stuff together today, hopefully!!!!

He found an apartment about three hours away.   He kept saying he hated this town from the day he moved here, but yet is telling everyone on face book he's loved his time here, he's just a city boy over a country boy LOL.  I did tell him i would help him pack his stuff on this end, since I know he's not able to do it alone so after I get my stuff out of there, then I get to turn around and help him BLAH, gonna be a long week or so!

[Deanne]

It sounds like you're doing great! Your messages sound happy and positive now, like you've got a purpose and hope for your future again. 

[Vicky]

I'm so ready to get finished moving and then help him move so I can be me again!!!!  It's been so long since I've been able to do what I want to do and not worry about who i'm pissing off it's amazing

[The Noob]

all the best to come sister!

[Vicky]

Actually turned out to be a fantastic day!!!!  Had our Eagles meeting tonight and a very great friend of mine brought me flowers for my birthday today, made me feel good.  I spent most of the day at the house packing and Dave was there the whole day and never even bothered to say happy birthday to me