Getting pressured and don't know what to do...

[Nameless]

I applied for food stamps today. I feel like crap. I can't do it all on my own anymore. I can't get a job outside of our home and I am getting pressured to work. How do I explain to people that I do have a job...I am caregiver to my family. Both my husband and son are disabled. It is crazy to think I can just go out and work. Maybe I can work the hours that I am not caregiving...anyone know a job that I can do while I sleep (if I get any time to sleep)? Any ideas on what to say?

[Gandalf]

K, your decision is yours alone.  It is truly intrusive and unfair for any other person to make a comment, and as for putting pressure on you, I think that is totally horrible.  From what you describe, your obligations on a given day way exceed mine, as do your responsbilities, and I do so-called "work" in the conventional sense of the word. 
If someone asks, or makes pointed references, maybe you could raise your eyebrow in disdain, and say, yes, i work, all the time.  Why?  Do you? And place the stress back on them (where it belongs!)

[jbeany]

I vote that the next person who tells you to get a job trade places with you for a day!

Seriously, simply tell them that the cost of home care for your family would be more than you could make.  "Oh, a 9 to 5 job - wouldn't that be a lovely break for me?!  Too bad there aren't any out there that would let me get out of the house and pay enough to cover the assistance my husband and son would need while I was gone for the day.  I'm always looking for volunteers though, just so I can have a day to run errands out of the house.  How does your schedule look?"

If that doesn't make them run screaming in the opposite direction, nothing will.

 

[Desert Dancer]

I vote that the next person who tells you to get a job trade places with you for a day!

Seriously, simply tell them that the cost of home care for your family would be more than you could make.  "Oh, a 9 to 5 job - wouldn't that be a lovely break for me?!  Too bad there aren't any out there that would let me get out of the house and pay enough to cover the assistance my husband and son would need while I was gone for the day.  I'm always looking for volunteers though, just so I can have a day to run errands out of the house.  How does your schedule look?"

If that doesn't make them run screaming in the opposite direction, nothing will.

 

 

[willowtreewren]

I vote that the next person who tells you to get a job trade places with you for a day!

Seriously, simply tell them that the cost of home care for your family would be more than you could make.  "Oh, a 9 to 5 job - wouldn't that be a lovely break for me?!  Too bad there aren't any out there that would let me get out of the house and pay enough to cover the assistance my husband and son would need while I was gone for the day.  I'm always looking for volunteers though, just so I can have a day to run errands out of the house.  How does your schedule look?"

If that doesn't make them run screaming in the opposite direction, nothing will.

 

I tell you, any time I need an advocate, I'm hiring Jbeany! What a way with words! 

Aleta

[boswife]

just a partial FYI..... In talkig to a 'care partner' friend at our old center, they were getting paid to care for their husband.  It was even a fair amount.  Unfortunatly, i dont know who they went through to get that but I think someone else on hear knows of the same experience.  I will do some checking and goodness, please dont let others burden you more than you already are.  It's a tough job this caregiving for needie ones.  A 24 and then some hours worth a day.  Bless you, give you some rest, and peace in your soul for what your doing... 
 

[drgirlfriend]

I vote that the next person who tells you to get a job trade places with you for a day!

Seriously, simply tell them that the cost of home care for your family would be more than you could make.  "Oh, a 9 to 5 job - wouldn't that be a lovely break for me?!  Too bad there aren't any out there that would let me get out of the house and pay enough to cover the assistance my husband and son would need while I was gone for the day.  I'm always looking for volunteers though, just so I can have a day to run errands out of the house.  How does your schedule look?"

If that doesn't make them run screaming in the opposite direction, nothing will.

 

I tell you, any time I need an advocate, I'm hiring Jbeany! What a way with words! 

Aleta

SO MUCH ALL OF THIS!

[The Noob]

when some idiot asks me that, i say i work like a dog. end of discussion.

you could say "yea i work for free 24/7 to give you job security by doing what i do for free and getting my husband and son to all these appts. and treatments.."

this would be for the doofus medical person who asks..

[Nameless]

I have always been a stay at home mom...my mother and my in-laws now think I should work because my husband can't. I am applying for IHSS (In Home Supportive Services) for my son. It should pay minimum wage for part time work, to do the same thing I have been doing for years.  I always knew I had a hard job.

[Jean]

YES, that is it, IHSS, not a lot of money, but it helps. Then. remember when you file your tax return, you will qualify for the Making Work Pay credit, which can be as high as $800.00 and the Earned income credit too, if all your husband has is SOC. So, not all bad!!!

[looneytunes]

Great to hear you are going to get some financial help! 

[thegrammalady]

it may be just me, and i have a big mouth, but if it were my inlaws i'd say " great, i'll go find a full time job, you'll be here at 6am on monday to care for everyone? i should be home by 6pm"

my youngest broke her ankle when her oldest was just a baby and her sister helped her and got paid for it. she got the same as they would have paid an agency to send someone in.  every little bit helps.