Depression and anxiety

[sillygirl1717]

My brother has been on dialysis for about 2 months now, and he is having major depression and anxiety. His primary Dr says it is difficult to prescribe something because of his dialysis and heart condition, he needs triple bypass". There must be something that can be used in his case. Is there anyone out there that has had similar situation? He also is having bad anxiety stating that he is afraid to say anything to nurses or tech's about cramps, and that he is in pain because he is afraid they will do something to him and kill him. I have tried to explain to him that they cannot kill him I think and get away with it! Gosh I am looking for somewhere that might be a support group for those on dialysis that is not run by the dialysis center. Well thanks for listening.  P.S. I have tried to get him to come to this site but he says just because  it says the word "hate" in  IHD that this site is negative period. I will keep trying I know there are alot of people who could help him and answer questions to things he is experiencing...Thanks everyone

[silverhead]

Please tell him that the masthead for our sight says "WE ARE NOT NEGATIVE, WE JUST HATE DIALYSIS",  and that we are here to offer help from one patient to another, and not from the clinical or medical office side......

[sillygirl1717]

Thank you so much,  yes I realize that this is a great site...that goodness it has been here for me. I think it is part of his anxiety that he is going through with all this just being new

[MooseMom]

Well, a site called, "I Love Dialysis Because It's Awesome" would just be based on a lie.

There are a lot of people on dialysis who take anti-depressants or anxiety meds (because they love the awesomeness of dialysis), so maybe your brother should be talking to his nephrologist, not his primary care physician.

He NEEDS to tell the nurses and techs if he starts cramping; it is his responsibility to do so because he cannot expect staff to have their crystal balls at the ready.  They won't know unless he tells them.  Cramps are a signal that all is not well, and it is unhealthy to dismiss the signs your body is sending to you.  Just doesn't make sense.

Of course your brother is feeling anxiety; who wouldn't?  That's normal.  But anxiety becomes dangerous if it prevents him from getting the best care possible.

Maybe you could find a post by someone on here that you judge to be inspirational, interesting or similar to what your brother is going through, and just show it to him so that he can see for himself that we are not "negative."

(PS, to be fair, being able to dialyze at home with a NxStage is pretty damn awesome.  And the technology is just going to get better.)

[YLGuy]

Maybe you could get him to read this one post.

Dear brother of sillygirl1717,
I really wish you would give this site a chance.  Yes, the title does connotate negativity.  This site is just the opposite.  You do not have to join.  Just take a little time and start reading through the posts as a guest.  You will find that there are people just like you going through the same things.  We are scared and nervous.  We are sad that the lives we once knew are a thing of the past.  We have experienced cramps.  The first time I experienced cramps I did not know to speak up right away.  By the time I did it took 4 techs to hold me down.  I was screaming in agony as they pushed fluids back into me.  I could barely walk for 3 days afterwards.  One of the beautiful things about this site is very soon you find that you are not alone.  I do not know how many times I thought I was experiencing something unique only to have someone else post the same question.  Low and behold person after person posted saying that they were having the problem or feelings.  I have learned certain questions to ask the techs, nurses and doctors.  I have learned what to look for.  I have learned so much from this site that has improved the quality of my care and more importantly the quality of my life.  Now here is the best part.  Although we have never met in person you will find that there are people on this site who care.  I mean really care about each other.  So, I am asking you to please just give it a week.  Read through the posts.  If you have a question or concern about your own situation use the search feature.  I am guessing you will find that someone here has posed a similar question.  This site is not run by a center.  It is run by patients and caregivers who graciously volunteer their time.  The information here is real and very, very good. I hope you join us but even if you do not please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Marc

[MooseMom]

...and we're awesome.

(Very well said, Marc!)

[jbeany]

I don't have any help for your med questions - but there must be something he can take to lessen the anxiety, even if he only uses during dialysis sessions.  He really needs to break down his communication barrier with his dialysis techs and nurses.  Not telling them what is going on will only increase his chances of having a bad reaction. 

And, yes, of course, I agree he needs to get past the name of the site - which most of us just refer to as IHD anyhow.  It's word play - lalmost a marketing gimmick - that gets people's attention.  Some of us have found our way here in the middle of the night looking for help BECAUSE of the name. (Raising my own hand, here.) We needed someone who wasn't going to pour on the hearts and flowers BS about how much we should love everything about D because it was keeping us alive.  Hate is not what we stress here - but yes, we're allowed to admit that we hate parts of it, even as it keeps us here.  Maybe ask him if he honestly loves D!