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kyshiag
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« on: July 09, 2011, 07:42:12 PM »
My name is kyshiag and while I would never punch my husband in his life-giving fistula arm, I do want to punch him in the face sometimes.  He probably feels the same way about me sometimes but whoa is the day he verbalizes it.  That is all.
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jbeany
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« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2011, 08:42:41 PM »
 :grouphug;

Chronic illness is just as tough on the care-givers as it is on the patient.  I've no doubt my family would love to smack me upside the head once in a while.  I know for certain I felt that way when I was taking care of my senile grandmother and she was yelling at me yet again....

You're welcome to come on here and vent whenever you need to - it leaves fewer bruises!

 :grouphug;
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"Asbestos Gelos"  (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter".  A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality.
MooseMom
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« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2011, 09:27:28 PM »
Quote from: kyshiag on July 09, 2011, 07:42:12 PM
My name is kyshiag and while I would never punch my husband in his life-giving fistula arm, I do want to punch him in the face sometimes.  He probably feels the same way about me sometimes but whoa is the day he verbalizes it.  That is all.

Well, that's not enough; I want to know more!  :-* What does he do that annoys you the most?
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
kyshiag
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« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2011, 10:16:39 AM »
I just want him to be as self-sufficient as possible.  I'm not expecting pre-diagnosis levels but my god can't you call and make a doctor's appointment on your own. make a simple trip to the grocery store, etc.  Instead, he can do none of this but wants to go to the store WITH you.  I'm like dude if you have the energy to go to the store, I need you to go FOR me.  Or he can't remember the dates to do anything so you spend money on notebooks, dry erase board, calendars and whatever only for him to use none of them.  Then you have to constantly check HIS work email to make sure he isn't missing anything only to hear him on the phone with a friend running down the NBA schedule for the next month.  Hey guy, either you have trouble remembering or you don't, which is it.  And then there's the lies about eating/not eating, peeing/not peeing, making calls, etc.  Then I have to turn into a police investigator to find out what really is going on--so, yeah I burst into restrooms on him so I can see the quantity of urine he's passing.

Now I feel like I'm losing my mind because my short-term memory seems to be shot  :stressed;
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MooseMom
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« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2011, 10:24:43 AM »
Well, you know, they're having a lockout in the NBA, so if they don't play next season, you're just gonna have to kill him, otherwise he will drive you nuts. :rofl;

Some people, when faced with this sort of crisis, just go limp, and it sounds like he might be one of those.  I don't know if it's a function of denial about the seriousness of his illness or if it's just "I have kidney failure so please don't expect anything of me.  Now, where's the remote?"  I personally would despise having someone else make my appts for me or having to monitor my diet; that's getting your face into my business, and I don't like that, so back off.

I think that maybe your short-term memory problems are due to having too much to think about.  I forget about the short-term, mundane things because I'm having to fight with people about my meds or referrals or something else kidney related, and what to do about dinner just gets put on my top mental shelf.
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
Brightsky69
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« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2011, 10:49:40 AM »
I think it's just a "man" thing.  :rofl; 

When my BF gets a cold....OMG! All I hear is "This cold is killing me......I hate being sick. Am I ever gonna get better?" Boohoo poor me.  And if I say...let me talk you to the doctor...then it's "Oh no..that's OK...I'll be fine."  :boxing;
He is forever telling me "You need to take it easy on the weekends, you do too much....if the laundry gets bad I'll do it." I look at him like HA HA that's a good one.  If I don't do it it doesn't get done. He was off for 6 days and did the bathrooms get cleaned? Did any laundry get done....NOPE. Wasn't even touched.

I know how you feel.
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Transplant June 11, 1991 (1st time) my mom's kidney
Received my 2nd kidney transplant Oct. 19th 2010.
Poppylicious
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« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2011, 01:24:33 PM »
I have actually punched my Blokey in his fistula arm.  I was asleep at the time.  And I suspect it was less of a punch and more of a gentle knock as I was turning around, or something.

Ooops.

 ;D

*waves* at kyshiag.
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- wife of kidney recepient (10/2011) -
venting myself online since 2003 (personal blog)
grumbles of a dialysis wife-y (kidney blog)
sometimes i take pictures (me, on flickr)

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
The Noob
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« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2011, 02:10:29 PM »
yall are cracking me up! mainly because i could copy/paste like it was mine!  :rofl;

serously, though, welcome to thje nuthouse! your in good company :grouphug;
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lmunchkin
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« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2011, 04:06:06 PM »
Got to be a man thing!!!!!  Just took hubby to vascular surgeon today, and he asked how things were going and J. replied, "oh, great! Things doing just fine."  Once we leave, man Im not feeling too well, my leg is hurting, I can't see where Im going!  When we finally get in the car, I asked, "Honey, why did you not let the doctor know how you feel if you feel bad, you should have told him!"

Guess what his answer was?   "I didn't want to bother him!"  Yea right!  Yea, I totally agree it is a man thing!  Sorta like the "Selective Hearing" thing!


lmunchkin      :flower;
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11/2004 Hubby diag. ESRD, Diabeties, Vascular Disease & High BP
12/2004 to 6/2009 Home PD
6/2009 Peritonitis , PD Cath removed
7/2009 Hemo Dialysis In-Center
2/2010 BKA rt leg & lt foot (all toes) amputated
6/2010 to present.  NxStage at home
MooseMom
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« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2011, 04:47:17 PM »
Quote from: Brightsky69 on July 10, 2011, 10:49:40 AM
He is forever telling me "You need to take it easy on the weekends, you do too much....if the laundry gets bad I'll do it." I look at him like HA HA that's a good one.  If I don't do it it doesn't get done. He was off for 6 days and did the bathrooms get cleaned? Did any laundry get done....NOPE. Wasn't even touched.


 :o :o :oYOU'VE BEEN IN MY HOUSE!!!!! :o :o :o
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
peleroja
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« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2011, 08:09:15 PM »
Welcome to the group, kyshiag.  Lots of good information and friends here.  Glad you found us!
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