honeybabe, i sure feel for you. for us, our pets keep us going. DH is bad about adopting every stray. i told him to quit as we can't afford the feed! we have had to put down 4 horses over the years, all beloved. we had to do it ourselves, including burial. i don't want to do it again, ever. i can't count over the years all the critters i've nursed, saved, buried. we currently have a baby coon in a crate on the back porch. i believe my husband was dr. doolittle in his former life. the thing about animals, well, is that they give back so much, and are there when no one else is. many hugs for you