Men bonded by gift of life share kidneys

Saturday, Feb. 05, 2011

Men bonded by gift of life share kidneys – and a message
By JAMES M. O’NEILL - The Record

HACKENSACK, N.J. -- Two former strangers brought together by a kidney donation are using their story to promote organ donation to congregants of Barnert Temple in Franklin Lakes, N.J., and other Jewish people considering organ donation.
Mike Graham, a former commercial pilot and a plumber from Franklin Lakes, had never heard of Alan Segal before reading an ad in a local paper outlining Segal’s need for a kidney donation.

Graham, now 67, had given blood for several decades, and had been thinking about organ donation for several years since a former customer of his died for lack of a kidney donor.
When Graham called Segal, 60 and also from Franklin Lakes, to say he wanted to donate, Segal was incredulous. “Who is this?” he responded into the phone. That was December 2009.
The two formed a rare bond, successfully navigated a battery of pre-surgery tests, endured the transplant and are now healthy and spreading the word about the need for organ donation.
“As we were going through the tests, getting closer to the operation, I kept praying every night, ‘Please let me be a good match. Don’t let me let Alan down,’ ” Graham said.
The two men recently spoke before a special breakfast meeting of Barnert Temple’s Men’s Club and Sisterhood organizations. “We really want to get this message out,” Graham said. “There are 87,000 people in this country waiting for a kidney transplant.”
“This is an opportunity for people to learn about Judaism’s support for organ donation, and what we can give from our bodies that enables life,” said Barnert Temple Rabbi Elyse Frishman.
Those who attended the event received a free copy of “Jewish Living: A Guide to Contemporary Reform Practice” by Rabbi Mark Washofsky, a professor of Jewish law at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati.
One chapter in the book covers Jewish law and medical ethics, including a section on organ donation and transplant.
“In the sea of life, we are all lifeboats for one another,” Frishman told the crowd. “We never know when we may need to throw someone else a lifeline.”
The room was filled with organ donor stories and connections. Sara Losch, Barnert’s director of lifelong learning, said her own father needed a liver transplant but could not find a doctor who would agree to the procedure because he was 78 at the time. Segal and his wife, Joy, connected Losch to a doctor who agreed to the procedure. Losch’s father is now a healthy 82.
It was Losch, in turn, who had placed the ad in The Villadom Times about Segal’s need for a kidney that first drew Graham’s attention.
Losch told the group that even if someone signs a donor card or checks the donor box on their driver’s license, they should still discuss their intentions with family members, because family may not otherwise agree to organ donation when asked by doctors after the potential donor’s death.
Graham didn’t tell his wife, Eileen, about his decision to donate a kidney until just a few days before the actual transplant surgery. “I wanted to make sure I was going to go through with it,” he explained.
He said that she has relied on deceased organ donors when she had several cornea transplant surgeries, so she backed his decision. “She understands. She can see today because somebody had checked the organ donor box on their driver’s license,” Graham said.
Graham said that when he saw Segal before the operation, he looked gray, ashen, “like he was dying.” When Graham wandered down to see Segal 12 hours after the operation, he said that Segal “looked as pink as a baby’s butt, and he was literally glowing. It blew me out of the water.”
Segal smiled. “I haven’t felt this good in 20 years,” he said.

Read more: http://www.macon.com/2011/02/05/1437349/men-bonded-by-gift-of-life-share.html#ixzz1DXZE48al