Could handle tis better if werent so alone

[dyann]

I feel bad complaining as I knowthere are people who have been ding dialysis for much longer than me,
but I am tred and so alone yes I have my kids but they dont fill that void of a comitted relationship someone to share my fears with they are my kids and to young to have to throughthis with me.  I nolonger date, I dont meat people who would want a 47 yr old sick lady raising 3 kids.  I am so lonely

[Ang]

come on line here you'll always find someone to talk to

[KICKSTART]

Yeah i know exactly what place you are in now ! Only i dont even have kids for company. But then again i try and look at it from a different angle .... er , i dont have arguments, i dont have to wash his dirty clothes , i can eat what i want , i can watch what i want, i can buy that handbag or pair of shoes  I can come and go as i please , i dont have to have a tug of war for the duvet ! What i really need is a handy man !!! I know this wont solve your problems but it might make you chuckle !

[Tracy]

Please don't lose hope.  I have been on D since May of last year and I am getting married next month.  There are some men out there who are so compassionate, they would be thrilled to know a beautiful 47 year old with 3 amazing kids!  I pray a lot and there is some positiveness that comes from it.  Hang in there girl!!

 

[st789]

Many of us here are in the same circumstance.  Focus on things that keep you moving every day.

[tyefly]

 Its terrible to feel alone....    stay strong.... come here for support  and  try to find some hobbies or activities that you like even if its simple as a walking group ... or online group... or ??    meeting people who share the same interest as you is the key..... 

stay strong...you  kids  need that.....   

[The Lone IT from HM]

Dyann, there is always time when one needs ADULT company.  Not knowing where you live, I couldn't tell you if there are any actual "get together" groups in your area.  However, you found us on the internet, look a bit deeper and see what you can find.  I have to say that I haven't checked to see if you gave an introduction, so I don't know how old your children are, so I don't know if you can just pickup and go visit.

First thing to do is stop thinking of your self as a 47 yr old sick lady.  You are a woman, and like all humans, you have some bagage...just like all of the rest of us (healthy or not).  Pick up the challenge and get back in the game, that is why we are here,  to help you with that.

[rsudock]

hang in there   

xo,
R

[looneytunes]

Dyann...sending you a cyberhug!   

[RightSide]

Dyann,

believe me, I empathize.  I'm in a worse boat.  Like you, I have no spouse.  But unlike you, I have no kids either.  So I know those feelings of loneliness.

We do have each other here.  And that's good because most healthy folks don't really understand what we dialysis patients put up with.

What I wouldn't give for a WELL-MUSCLED wife who can shovel 10 feet of 15 inch deep snow without getting tired!

[galvo]

And who preferably owns a liquor store, RightSide?

[dyann]

Thank you everyone,  First I realized I must have been very tired as I spelled rather mis-spelled so many words last time I wrote.  I am trying to get out more  did look for a support group, but found out Indianapolis, IN doesnt really have what I am looking for.  but I will keep on fightng and see what happens

[del]

 

[peleroja]

You're never alone as long as you have a computer and can get to IHD.  We're always here for you.  Is there a renal support group near you?  Attending one might help you find some friends.  Hope things get better for you soon.

[Deanne]

I'm sorry you feel alone. I don't think you should be feel bad for coming here to tell us about it, though. That's why we're here! Do you have activities that interest you? If you read, can you join a book club? If you like to walk for exercise, are there any walking groups (like Volkswalks) near you? If you garden, are there any garden clubs? If you cook, can you volunteer at a soup kitchen? Anything to get you out of the house and participating in life. It might be hard to get started, but if you can make yourself do it, it really helps!

[noahvale]

^^

[murf]

Everybody on dialysis at some point gets in the dumps. I think it is the constancy of the treatment. The ennui. It just never goes away. There are no holidays for dialysis patients. That's why IHD is so good. Great to vent and whinge about daily life to people exactly in your position. Empathy, not sympathy is important. Can't agree more about the suggestion to find a group such as a bridge club or a volunteer organization. My own outlet is a travel club where we all get on a bus and travel to a rural area for a look see and lunch at the local pub.

[okarol]

The Renal Support Network (same organization that hosts the Kidney Teen Prom OKarol has written about) might be able to offer you support.  They hold patient lifestyle meetings across the U.S. - with one planned sometime this year for Indianapolis. 

Check out the web site: http://www.rsnhope.org
and
call for info on their toll-free numbers:
(800) 579-1970 / HOPEline, for peer support and info
(866) 903-1728

RSN is a nonprofit, patient-focused, patient-run organization that provides non-medical services to those affected by CKD and strives to motivate and assist patients in developing their personal coping skills, special talents, and employability by educating and empowering them (and family members) to take control of the course and management of their disease.

RSN helps people with kidney disease become self-sufficient thru education, advocacy, and hope for a better tomorrow.

I feel bad complaining as I knowthere are people who have been ding dialysis for much longer than me,
but I am tred and so alone yes I have my kids but they dont fill that void of a comitted relationship someone to share my fears with they are my kids and to young to have to throughthis with me.  I nolonger date, I dont meat people who would want a 47 yr old sick lady raising 3 kids.  I am so lonely

Good advice. The HopeLine is really great because it's answered by other patients.

The Patient Lifestyle meetings coming up:
 
02/13/2011 Anaheim, California download flyer (PDF)
03/06/2011 San Diego, California
03/20/2011 Lancaster, California
05/01/2011 Albany, New York

Dates Pending, make sure you check back often for updates
Indianapolis, Indiana
Harlem, New York
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Dallas, Texas

Looks like IN will have a meeting at some point. http://rsnhope.org/programs/Regional%20Meetings/Pt_Lifestyle_Mtgs.php

[Chris]

Don't worry, you'll make it through. I don't date, but moved back in with parents who do not nor care to understand about what is going on, so in essense I guess it is a comparrison to kids. I learned to rely on myself, come here, and have pets that stick by when I do not feel good (no not waiting to eat me!).
 
The National Kidney Foundation of Indiana maybe of service to you too with events they put on that could allow you to network and find support groups also. There is another organization that maybe of service also, but I need to find the magnet. They serve Illinois, Indiana, and Ohio. There is another resource I have, but need to wait for the next newsletter. I can't remember the name, but Renal Outreach pops in my head. I am not even 95% sure if that is it, but remember the newsletter was mostly Illinois and Indiana based.

[dyann]

thank you everybody  I am going to look some of the dates up and call the kidney foundation.  thank you all for listening I so needed it.