Opting out and satisfied

Opting out and satisfied
Julie Robotham
December 6, 2010

Tony Messina declares himself well satisfied. ''You got to go one day,'' says the 79-year-old. ''A year or two shorter, who cares? Whatever comes I'll take.''

Mr Messina has opted out of dialysis, preferring to stay close to the Narwee house he built in the 1970s with his own hands, instead of spending three days a week in a hospital ward tethered to a machine to filter his blood.
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His kidney failure comes on top of a heart bypass, stroke and vascular disease, and the decision not to treat it will almost certainly shorten his remaining life.

* Multimedia: The End

But for now, it liberates Mr Messina to do the things he most enjoys: he plays cards, makes wine, tends the plants on his immaculate front verandah, and spends time in the company of his wife, Josephine, and their children and grandchildren.

''The girls grew up here, got married from here,'' says Mr Messina. His daughters, Linda and Marinella, are fiercely protective of their frail father, often visiting and checking in daily by phone to help him navigate finances and appointments in a world that becomes more difficult as his health fails.

But Mr Messina, a first-generation Italian immigrant who sailed here as a teenager in 1948, becomes animated at the suggestion they might be distressed by his rejection of dialysis. ''That's my opinion,'' he says. ''It doesn't matter what my daughters think.''

For all her obvious love of her father, Linda Messina said she was pleased he had chosen renal palliative care, through St George Hospital. ''I didn't want him to go on dialysis personally, but we couldn't make that decision for him,'' she said. ''The quality of life would have been horrific, for my mum as well. We're a close family. But it was his decision.''

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/lifematters/opting-out-and-satisfied-20101205-18ley.html