I had the same initial response as you Mark. The name sounded negative and I was feeling grateful that my daughter had dialysis to keep her from dying. But I had some questions, and I joined. I also read Epoman's story early on and seeing it from his perspective made me realize that dialysis is different for everyone. Some people do better than others.I hope you stick around. We can learn a lot from you, with all your experience.
Oddly enough, Mark, I understand what you are saying although I'm at the opposite end in the scale of life to you. I'm 75 and HD was a gift from God (I'm not religious...that's a figure of speech) to me. It made me feel so much better and happy about life that I soon came to realise how lucky I'd been. I can't say I love it but I certainly don't hate it.
And everyone can benefit from your upbeat attitude.
Oh, and ask your question! Now I'm curious as to what it is.