Tough one

[GoingThere]

Hi my fellows in kidneys problems!

Last week, when I was at tx clinic, I saw a very beautiful woman. Later I found, that she is neph, who works with tx patients. We talked for a while and then she had to go. Ufff.....how she made my mind dizzy. Whole week I tried to find any contact with her, no success. But today, she searched me through FB and found me. We exchanged few messages and then agreed to meet.
It was such a nice evening (date). We talked for many hours and she many times spoke about not ethical to do this. I must say, that she is not my doctor, maybe in the future could be a little bit involved in my tx operation. And that is all. I look at her as very attractive woman suitable for dating. But with many fears she presented to me, I didn't know, what so say. I really like her.

How do you look at this boundaries? What should I do?

GT

[cariad]

Awwww, Uros, what an impossibly romantic story!

I see no problem with it so long as she is never involved in your care. That could just get much too messy should you two date and then split on acrimonious terms. Not to mention how unfair it could be to her other patients, and the danger to her job if she is found out.

Patients are a protected class in America. Doctors are in a position to take advantage of patients, so I do not believe you should ever date your own doctor, and if you are already dating or married to one and have medical problems, you should really find someone else to handle your medical care. It sounds like your feelings for each other are mutual and for now your care is totally separate from her. If you do date, please do not involve her in your transplant operation.

She sounds like she is too afraid to seriously pursue anything right now, so perhaps you should hold off until you get a transplant. Am I right that you have a living donor? If you wait until after the operation to date, I would think it would be fine. Of course, I have no idea what the cultural norms are in Slovenia, so this is just how I would handle it in the US.

Good luck!

[boswife]

im sure you need to listen to others (so far cariad    ),,,,,,,, Im dangerious on this one..I just listend to my heart and felt how wonderful for you and forgot imediatly the rest of the stuff like "boundaries"  For whats its worth, im glad you have a lovely friend who you enjoy looking at and now listen to others advice   

[KICKSTART]

Dont go there ..!

[calypso]

Don't get your meat where you make your bread.

[RichardMEL]

well well well. You are some kind of stud muffin GT. I totally wish I had half your influence on the ladies!!!  that she looked you up on FB, made contact and met you says volumes.

She is right though there is an ethical problem there specially if she might be involved with you transplant wise. However it seems to me if she is NOT part of your treatment team at the moment and could potentially excuse herself should a transplant issue arise with you that she may be involved with, I think that would be OK to persue however her bringing up the ethical issues shows she would probably be uncomfortable with a romantic relationship as things stand (though clearly she's definitely interested in the DIALYSIS STUD!).

Wow difficult situation. We've read here stories about nurses/techs getting together with patients (usually involving the medical professional changing units to avoid a conflict of interest situation).

I guess if she still wants to explore possibilities you need to discuss with her what would make HER comfortable to continue things.

hey, it's positive for you though and hoping something can be worked out that works for you both

 

[GoingThere]

Richard,

I love your answer  .

I hope me and her will be able to find a proper solution that suits both of us.

GT

[rsudock]

Life is to short (as we all know) and finding someone that loves you or finding a potential love interest is the best part of life. Wouldn't D be easier if you have someone to talk to and make your life more happy and joyful? I say do it....of course I am a romantic. Maybe switch to a different dialysis unit and different hospital that she is not affiliated with if it gets serious.

xo,
R

[Bruno]

Wish that had happened to me. Free medical treatment and a beautiful wife.
...sigh.