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Author Topic: It's hurtful  (Read 3801 times)
texasstyle
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« on: August 16, 2010, 04:21:28 PM »

Gee, sometimes it feels so hurtful when my friends don't get just how much it takes to take care of a person with kidney failuire (and heart comlplications) My family understands but my friends don't. It's a lot of freakin' work! Whew, just had to vent that. I know you guys totally undertand what I mean. A good vent for me, them tomorrow is always a brand new day. Always optimistic, the sun wiill rise, and things may be better. Each day different but the "bad" ones, sure do get you down. Thanks family!
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caregiver to husband using in-center dialysis 4 years
monrein
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Might as well smile

« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2010, 06:09:54 PM »

 :grouphug;
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
Dianejt
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« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2010, 06:15:55 PM »

Sometimes it's hard to understand something that they have not experienced.  :cuddle;
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caregiver to husband Frank

bladder cancer 1994
renal failure April 2009 due to blocked right ureter. Left kidney 20% function
November 18 2009 surgery to remove right ureter.
April 3, 2010 removal bladder, prostrate, left kidney.
June 11, 2010 started Hemo @ hospital
July 2, 2010 Embolized right Kidney due to hemoraging of tumor
September 11, 2010 RIP my love
paris
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« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2010, 06:31:04 PM »

There is no way to fully explain how hard this disease is on everyone.   Vent away!  You know we understand     :cuddle;
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Jean
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« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2010, 11:29:06 PM »

 :cuddle;
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
galvo
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« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2010, 11:53:16 PM »

Yeah! I'm on my own and I take a bloody long time to get myself organised.
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Galvo
looneytunes
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Wishin' I was Fishin'

« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2010, 07:12:24 AM »

Tex, a good vent never hurts!  A suggestion for the friends....have one come to "job shadow" you for a day.  I did this with one very close friend who seemed hurt that I no longer had the free time to do the things we used to do.  I invited her to come spend a day with me with the warning up front that I couldn't get too far from the house that day.  She did and what an eye-opener it was for her.  It happened to be a day that we had a supply delivery come (with a small mix-up that I had to straiten out with the driver), pick up meds from the local pharmacy, return a call to our home care support nurse, figure out the logistics of a trip we needed to make and then do the set up for hubby to dialyze, monitor his tx for 4 hours and then unhook him.  Fixed a meal for us while he was running and she cleaned up the kitchen. 

After that visit, she has offered to help in any way she can and she has become a rock of support for me. 

Hugs to you!   :cuddle;
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"The key to being patient is having something to do in the meantime" AU
Poppylicious
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WWW
« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2010, 08:57:38 AM »

The thing is, it isn't just a lot of 'freakin' work' is it?  It's emotionally draining as well, and that adds to the exhaustion.  It is difficult to understand that if you've never experienced the whole package.  I love Looney's idea.

*hugs*
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- wife of kidney recepient (10/2011) -
venting myself online since 2003 (personal blog)
grumbles of a dialysis wife-y (kidney blog)
sometimes i take pictures (me, on flickr)

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
texasstyle
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« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2010, 07:15:12 PM »

I knew everyone would understand that's why I feel so comfortable here. that job shadow thing sounds pretty good but like poppy said, it's the emotional draining and I think you need to experience that day after day, week after week, month after month, and i don't think my friend would hang around that long lol. This is what we do and this is the lives we live, but once in a while it's gets to be a bit much. I'm usually a good mood kinda person but I'm aloud to get cranky sometimes right? lol Again, it's just great to know that SOMEONE else knows what I go through.
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caregiver to husband using in-center dialysis 4 years
Dianejt
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« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2010, 07:25:17 PM »

Sometimes it is hard to go through what we do. What I am grateful for is that I am able to take care of people that I love. And those around us take care of us. That includes this wonderful family IHD.
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caregiver to husband Frank

bladder cancer 1994
renal failure April 2009 due to blocked right ureter. Left kidney 20% function
November 18 2009 surgery to remove right ureter.
April 3, 2010 removal bladder, prostrate, left kidney.
June 11, 2010 started Hemo @ hospital
July 2, 2010 Embolized right Kidney due to hemoraging of tumor
September 11, 2010 RIP my love
RichardMEL
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« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2010, 01:03:38 AM »

Well TS just so you know I have it all planned. Continental are going to fly between Auckland and Houston from November next year. I'm going to be booked on one of those flights to arrive in Texas just as soon as I can to come give you some aussie style HUGS!!!!

 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
texasstyle
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« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2010, 06:31:26 AM »

awww Richard. Thanks! I like when men wear cologne by the way lol. How was your weekend?
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caregiver to husband using in-center dialysis 4 years
RichardMEL
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« Reply #12 on: August 18, 2010, 07:13:40 AM »

I wear Amani. Is that acceptable?  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

weekend fine (well no, cold and rainy actually!) but yeah can't complain too much (just don't mention football to me  :rofl;).

 :shy;
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
Bruno
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TOFF (typical old Fart)

« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2010, 01:46:58 AM »

I've tried to keep my beloved out of it but I've finished my training and start at home this week. I know what is happening to me will be difficult for her and my solution has been to try and do it all myself. I hope that if I leave her to make her own pace, she will get used to it (as I have) and come to accept it but the big machine, the bloodlines, the needles...I hope the strength to adjust comes to her.
51 years and she is my rock so I'm hoping.
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Joe Paul
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« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2010, 03:44:25 AM »

On the flip side is the one you take care of. Speaking as a receiver of care during my illness, I know how hard it is for a loved one to give up life as they knew it, and dedicate themselves to giving me the care I need. How do you thank an angel like that? Whats more, the child who gave me his kidney is my angel now too. All i can say to all you care takers out there is Thank you very much    :pray;
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"The history of discovery is completed by those who don't follow rules"
Angels are with us, but don't take GOD for granted
Transplant Jan. 8, 2010
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