When do I get to have fun?When life gets to be too muchand I can’t handle it anymore I have to run in circles and scream I have to stand and scream it out.But that is stress reliefNot fun.Where is the fun?I miss the fun.Ring around the RosieHopscotchBlowing bubbles in the sunlightRolling down a grassy hillWith the sun beating down. Playing tag.Barefoot, summertime, till after dark. Dozing off under a shady treeWith a book beside you. Picnic basket shared with friends.Now that is fun!Dialysis, sharp needlesBlood running from pump to body.Cold buildings.Nurses, techs, dietitians, social workers.Bills piling upBecause you cannot work anymore.Medicare, social security, paperwork,Just to get by.Chronic Illness in my life.Death looking over my shoulder.This is not fun!Watching movies on a personal DVD player.Drinking an ice cold Cola.Crunching on a cup of cold ice.Reading a book from cover to cover.Putting a warm pack under a blanket.Talking to people who really care.Headphones that block out the noise.A TV that works, with cable channels.Days on dialysis can be goodSometimes.But I still miss the funSpontaneityThe ability to pick up and goTravel where I wantWhen I want toGo and do and beWhenever and however I want.Now I have to plan it all outBe sure to schedule and plan my life.Fun has to be planned now.It is the price I payFor life.K. Soto 4/28/2007