Be kind to Yourself

[Mizar]

I just wanted to send this Message, to all the Caregivers, out there. My Husband, does, In-Center, Hemo, Three times a Week. We are both Retired and I am the Caregiver. We Live, about 200 Feet ( Yes, You read that right ) away from the Dialysis, Center, but, it has been over, Four Months, since He has Drove. He is too Weak, to Walk, that far, so We, get up, at 5:30 a.m., Three times a Week, so I can Drive Him to Dialysis. I have to go in and get a Wheelchair for Him and Help Him, Load and Unload, His Portable, Oxygen Tank. He not only, is on D, but He has Emphysema and was in the Hospital, a Month ago, for a Pulmonary Embolism. We have no Family around, so it's just Me. He is able to manage around the Home, by Himself, but I have to do all the Driving.  We manage all that, but this last Week, was Nuts. He is now on Coumidin, for the Blood Clot, so He has to have His Blood tested, till they get it to the right level. They won't do this, at D. This Week alone, We did, Three Trips, to D, Four (unplanned ) trips to a Dr's Office, to have His Blood Checked, a Five Hour stay at ER, because His Blood Levels were too High and an Unplanned, Trip to a Pulmonary Specialist, Thirty Miles away. Last Night I looked at Him and said, " This Week, has been, too much, I feel like I'm out of Breath " He nodded in Agreement. Today, was our first Day, without a Dr. Appt. I got up Early this Morning and told Him," I'm going to
the Mountains, alone. I'm buying Myself Lunch. I'm taking a ME Day." He was all for that, as it gave Him, some time alone too.
I came Home, feeling good. Relaxed. I can and will, get up at 5:30 a.m, to do it all again.
I joined a Caregiver Group, at My Church and a Woman, I met, said, to Me. " I don't have time to take care of Me "  I think, what She was really saying was, " I would feel Guilty, if I took time for Myself "
Taking time for Yourself as a Caregiver, is not Selfish, It's Self-Preservation and Self Esteem. I've been to the Point, where, I'm so Tired and so Frustrated, with the Disease, that I'm just ready to get in the Car and Drive away. I won't let those Feeling, take Me over again. I cannot take care of Someone else, if I don't take care of Myself, once in a while. I think, this is so Important, for Caregivers, to Remember.
God Bless, all the Kidney Patients on here, who are dealing with this Terrible Disease and God Bless, all Their, Caregivers.

[boswife]

Great one Mizar.. So right on it almost hurts.  We're all so willing to give our all, but if it wernt for the 'rests', i dont know where i'd be.  Bless you and all your efforts too, God bless us all 

[okarol]

  Thanks for that post Mizar. It's a good reminder. No patient wants to be a burden, but it must feel that way when they see how tired we get. Taking time to recharge and let go a bit is good for both of you. I wish it were easier for you guys. Take care.

[Bruno]

Mizar, you are a marvel. God bless you.

[Des]

Mizar,

I will say this THANK YOU and all the other caregivers (selfless do-ers) out there!!!! without you's we would not get through this...

hugs

[billybags]

Mizar, Well put, I sat here reading your post with tears in my eyes. Some care givers have so much on, I am lucky at the moment my husband is fairly well but ay there might come a day soon when I will have to take over.You did right taking a day off and yes you do have to look after yourself. Some days I feel like I am living on a knifes edge but what can you do. Make the most of spare time you have. Hope your hubby is going on ok.

[Poppylicious]

Brilliant, Mizar! You are an amazing woman!

I don't consider myself a caregiver (after all, Blokey works full-time and panders to my every whim *grin*) but I still need Me Time and get that three times a week when he's at haemoD.  Blokey actually lets me go away for weekends without him (I've been to Prague to see one brother, and Wales to see another this year ... I imagine he enjoys the peace and quiet) but I spend most of any time away worrying about him constantly.  Ack, I lie in bed next to him every single night worrying about him!  I do think though that I'm the only person in the world who knows how very tired and emotional he gets, and that can be a burden sometimes.  I also bear the brunt of all the grumbles and the pain.  I think that a couple of weekends away without him each year is excellent recompense for that!

 

[texasstyle]

It is so hard when you are the only one. Well, actually the both of you. I'm the only caregiver and it's exhausting. I know you feel probably just like me. Drained, spent, worn, ragged..... but it's the way it is and we do it each day huh? So often i feel like I've lost my sense of me. You NEED to  take that "me" break. Your lucky you found a care giver group. Take care of the caregiver too!