Donating kidney ‘the right thing to do’

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Donating kidney ‘the right thing to do’

Published Saturday August 14th, 2010

Kidney transplant | Paying it forward in honour of his wife and his niece

It’s an unbelievable story of giving and sacrifice — the kind of thing you see in dramatic films or novels.

But for Carl Urquhart, it’s the end of an important chapter in his life.

The York MLA is preparing to donate one of his kidneys in the coming months to a member of his extended family — a Tweedside man he’s still getting to know.

This process is part of a decision Urquhart made about two years ago — an idea he conceived while watching his wife Beth struggle for her life as she waited for a kidney transplant.

“She died once. They brought her back. She went into a coma for two weeks and they brought her back. I was no longer a husband; I was a caretaker.

And there wasn’t a whole lot I could do for her,” he said.

In the midst of this personal crisis, organ donation entered his life in another way when his 20-year-old niece, Jenny, died on the operating table. Her family donated her organs to give others a new lease on life.

Urquhart said he felt frustrated when he learned he wasn’t able to serve as a kidney donor to Beth.

Most of those feelings changed to relief when his wife’s sister stepped forward to save the day.

But a part of him wanted to pay this amazing gift forward to help soothe those familiar fears for someone else.

So for more than a year, Urquhart has been working his way through the process of qualifying as a kidney donor: meeting with doctors, completing blood tests and searching for a potential recipient.

And he’s found a match in his extended family: Reid Cleghorn, the husband of his wife’s cousin.

Urquhart and Cleghorn, a local farmer who travels to the Upper River Valley Hospital three times per week for dialysis services, are getting to know each other.

Meredith Cleghorn, who has been married to Reid for nearly 32 years and has three children with him, said she has fond memories of playing with her cousin as youngsters. They drifted apart slightly as they grew up, both focusing on starting families and building lives with their husbands.

She said they used to see each other at family events, but this process is bringing them closer in a special way.

“I think it means a lot more than if it was a stranger,” she said.

“Carl is family. Carl wanted to give back. He wasn’t able to give Beth a kidney because of the different blood types, and when he found out that Reid was having problems and would have to go for a transplant, he said, ‘What about your cousin’s husband?’ ” Cleghorn said Reid’s health has been improving with the dialysis, but this will give him his old life back.

“It’s an excellent gift. It’s going to be a Christmas-allover- again kind of thing. It’s the gift of life, really,” she said.

Urquhart still has to pass a stress test, an electrocardiogram and speak to a psychiatrist before the procedure can take place.

“That (appointment with the psychiatrist) might be the only iffy one of the bunch,” he said with a laugh.

“From talking to the doctor, I’ve got no medical issues.

It looks like I’ll be a good donor.”

The Tory MLA, who was initially hesitant to speak about this topic because of the impending provincial election, said he’s no hero. He believes this is something he needs to do.

“I make no bones about it; I’m scared to death. It’s not something that everybody is going to do. But it’s something that, because of my little journey in life, I feel is important,” he said.

“If Beth had been healthy, 100 per cent, I probably would never have even thought of doing it. But everything came together. I saw how her sister recovered after going through it. And I was able to ask lots of questions.”

Urquhart is feeling strong and at 56 years old, he knows he doesn’t have a lot of time left if this is something he wants to accomplish.

“They’ve gone through every square inch of me. They’ve checked my heart, they’ve checked my blood, they know that I’m 100 per cent healthy to do it,” he said.

“It’s the right thing to do.”

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