Transplant "post partum"

[topazbeauty]

I don't know if anyone is up right now, really I shouldn't be up. But I just feel like I need someone to talk to, someone that can understand what I'm going through and tell me that I'm crazy and need to cheer up.

[paris]

I wish I had been up and we could have chatted.   How are you doing today?   I hope today is a  better day.   None of this is easy, even post transplant.    And most think "your cured!" so it is hard for them to understand.    I will look for more posts to see how you are doing.     

[Dianejt]

hey Topaz how are you doing today?

[topazbeauty]

I'm doing better today. I finally calmed down enough to fall asleep around 3, and just got up a little bit ago (it's 2 here now).

I'm not actually sure what I'm upset about. But I've been getting these episodes of anxiety and "depression" (for lack of a better term) for a few weeks now. My job has been really stressful lately and I'm not sure that it's where I'm suppose to be, but I feel trapped. I can't afford my bills  or medications if I quit, but I feel like the stress that I have because of it probably doesn't help my recovery at all. It's like a vicious cycle.

I don't know what changed between pre and post transplant, but I used to be so good at dealing with stuff like this by myself, and lately I don't feel like I can talk myself into feeling ok. The worse part is that deep down I'm a realist, and I know that my life is not that bad, there are situations out of my control, but as a whole there are people in much worse shoes than I am in.

I know that it's not proably the best way to deal with things, but I wish I could go back to bottling them up and just faking ok, life was far less complicated when I could do that.

[jbeany]

Don't forget that the meds can cause some serious changes in mood.  If you are feeling like a whole different person, and not in a good way, then see if the docs can adjust your meds. 

Knowing there is someone out there with worse problems is a great reality check, that's true.  A dose of perspective is helpful, but it doesn't, however, make your problems vanish.  Don't beat yourself up for not feeling like the transplant was some magic spell that gives you an automatic happily-ever-after.  My life is tremendously better since the transplant, but that doesn't mean I don't still have a lot on my plate.

[kellyt]

Are you on Prednisone?  That can make your emotions all whacked out for a long time.  I'm glad you're feeling better today.     

[okarol]

  Job stress is not good. It's only been just over 3 months since your transplant and that really isn't very long. I hope you feel better - glad you come here to share - I am usually up late so PM me next time you want to chat.

[chris73]

I know how you feel topaz, i have been dealing depression since tx (2 1/2 yrs).I just recently ask my Dr for help..Been on 40mg prozac for 2months now feeling much better and able to cope with daily activites.Hope you are able to find peace with or without more meds! Hang in there!! Sure beat the alternative..God Bless!1 Chris

[paris]

Checking on you Topaz to see how you are.   Have you talked to the doctor about all of this?   I hope things start improving for you.