My transplant is 16 days old

[Brightsky69]

Hello -

One question...is it common to get "depressed" after a transplant?? I have wanted this ever since I wanted this since I was on dialysis.
I've been stuck in the house all day everyday, it's cold and rainy out. My BF is here with me 24/7 and it's all getting on my nerves. I dont even bother to get dressed anymore. I feel like...when am i gonna get my life back?? I feel traped and alone. I should still be on a transplant high...right??
I ve been fighting with my BF.
I am hoping it gets better when i am allowed to drive.
Meanwhile... the kidney is doing great.

[cariad]

Are you on prednisone?

Congrats on the transplant!

[Brightsky69]

Yes I am on 20mg of Prednisone.

[cariad]

That could be aggravating an already depressing situation. Prednisone can cause depression, and it is famous for making people irritable and emotionally labile.

Also, feeling stuck and poor weather don't help. I don't remember any 'transplant high' myself. Hopefully you will start to feel better once your doses are cut and you can get out and about.

[Brightsky69]

I remember my 1st transplant. I felt like a million bucks and was out walking and doing stuff.....till I could drive. Then again I was by myself and was doing whatever. I had the energy of a 12 year old. I was 21 at the time.
I do feel great but the stir crazies are getting to me. Plus I have my BF here 24/7. It just seems different this time.

[paris]

Around week 2 -3, I felt overwhelmed.  Everyone kept asking " don't you feel better?"    I did, but the enormity if what had happened hit me.  I felt guilty for others who are still waiting for a transplant, felt so sorry for the donor's family, and just a little blue.   We upped my anxiety med a little and I could start enjoying my gift again.  Now at 2 months,  I am doing good and my frame of mind is good too.

I wonder if age plays any part of this?  I keep reminding everyone that I am a lot older than when I was first diagnosed.  And I am not going to be doing cartwheels anymore!  (well, I never could do cartwheels!)    I hope you start feeling more like your old self.    I am not on prednisone, but I still have some moody days.  I was so ready for everyone to go back to work and stop hovering.  Just give me some space!  LOL  I felt better once I was driving and could at least buy my own groceries.   I did talk to the transplant center and they said that moodiness is to be expected in such a big surgery.  You have helped me feel more normal.  Thanks!   

[Brightsky69]

Glad I could help. 
At least the sun is out today. I am gonna actually get dressed today. Maybe that will help me feel normal. 

[MooseMom]

I had major surgery exactly 2 years ago...not a transplant, but big surgery.  My husband had arranged to take some time off to look after me once I got home, but things got screwed up at work and he was unable to take time off.  So, I was left alone, and I was royally pissed about that.  But after a very short time, I was SO grateful not to have him around because I could just pad around all day at my own pace and not have to worry about him and his needs.  I suspect that you and your BF might need a bit of time away from each other.  BFs often need to be coddled, and post-transplantation is not conducive to coddling.  I'm sure things will get better!

[The Lone IT from HM]

Hey, if you can't go out, but your BF can, ask your BF to go out to the mall for you and get something, or go see a movie...any thing that will give both of you some time and space.  It will do both of you some good.

[Brightsky69]

I do need some space. He keeps telling me what to do. Like i didn't have any hand santizer in my purse. I usually carry it but changed purses. All he kept saying is Why dont you have it, what??? did you just decide not to use it anymore. UGH!!!!
Then he's teeling me how to act in  public.....dont touch the counters...wash your hands before you eat.
I am not 12 years old I am 41. I already know all this stuff.

[natnnnat]

Gregory is on 10 times his normal dose of prednisalone, 100 mg a day instead of 10.  He is very irritable, also very shaky, which I think might be the preddies.  Don't know why his dose is so high, but the point here is that as was pointed out by others, Prednisalone might be in the mix for your fights with BF. 

[Brightsky69]

I wouldn't doubt it. 20mg Prednisone is a lot to me. I am hoping when I can drive I can get some time to myself.
The doc's said it was going to be hard. It's just been a lot to deal with so fast. Plus I think everyone thnks i am supposed to be 100% fine and happy. I am grateful for the kidney but it's been a big adjustment.

[kellyt]

Absolutely.   Talk to your post transplant nephrologist.  Mine specifically told me to tell him if I started feeling depressed.  And I did, but I didn't feel I needed any medication at that point.  Honestly, I didn't want to add another medication to my regimen, because I was already so overwhelmed.  Now, when I lose my Medicare next November I might have to take antidepressants. 

Congrats on your transplant! 

[Riki]

I agree.. you and your boyfriend need some time apart.  I like the idea of getting him to go out and pick something up for you, or you could tell him that he looks like he needs a break, and to go out with his buddies for a guys night.  He may feel that he's not able to do it until you're back on your feet 100%.  You may have to tell him that he needs it, and that you'll be fine.  If they didn't think you could look after yourself, they wouldn't have let you leave the hospital.

[Sunny]

Congratulations on the transplant.
I had mine Oct 6th and was on very high doses of prednisone at first. Now I am down to 5 mg per day and I have noticed a huge difference in my moodiness lowering. Plus I am able to control my temper better. I started feeling badly for my husband who will be home with me a total of 6 weeks so I  finally told him to go out and have some fun. He goes bike riding with friends but takes his cell phone in case I need him.Maybe suggest to your boyfriend he can go out for short periods of time but bring his cell phone.My surgeon says it will be many months before I feel the full benefits of the transplant because my body still has to recover from 10 years of kidney disease. We have to remember our bodies need time to recover even though our transplanted kidney may be doing excellent.

[Brightsky69]

My BF just left to go hang out with a couple of friends. I am sure all of this hasn't been easy for him either. So I am glad he's taking some time out. I am really grateful to have the house to myself tonight.
This has been so stressful....I got a little worried last time I went to the bathroom. I saw a tiny bit of foam. I started to worry about spilling  protein in my urine. I go to transplant clinic on Tuesday so I'll be sure to tell them about it and my creeping depression.

[kellyt]

Remember, you'll get "foam" if you bare down too hard to urinate.  I get that sometimes, too.

[Brightsky69]

Thanks Kellyt....that does make me feel a better. I tell you...I had way too much dairy today, my stomach has been upset all day. Maybe it's stress, who knows?

[okarol]

Be sure you're getting plenty of fluids! 

[RichardMEL]

Try to remember that your bf only is being annoying because he cares and just wants the best for you and your gift. It's good he's able to let go for a bit and go out and have some fun time for him with his mates - like you said it can't be easy for him trying to support you. Hopefully this whole thing will get easier as time goes on, and your meds get lowered, and it's safer for you to go out and do your own stuff more normally and he can relax a little.

hang in there!!! 

[Brightsky69]

Thanks for all the kind words. I need to learn to vent on here instead of facebook. I answered one of my friends truthfully about how I was feeling.....Turns out my BF's mother saw my post about feeling a little depressed and she called my BF and then he got worried. UGH!!!!!!
I think I am learning my lesson...when someone asks "How are you feeling?" They don't really care...all they expect to hear is "fine".

[Riki]

A friend of mine used to say, when I asked her a rather daunting question about how she was doing, as she had a lot of problems at home, and she'd always say, "you want the truth or a lie?"  The kind of person I am, I want the truth, or else I wouldn't have asked, but I think I'm a rarity with that.  I don't think most want to know the truth, especially after something like a transplant.  They want to hear that you're doing great and you're 100% better than before, when it can take months to be 100% better. Sometimes it's better to just smile and say, "I feel much better, thank you," than actually telling the truth.