UK HELP URGENTLY NEEDED Long post (UPDATE!)

[KICKSTART]

No offence but our system is different from most of yours. GUESS WHAT ....Ive been THROWN OUT OF THE UNIT ! yes thats right ! Yesterday by a STAFF nurse !!! Do you want to know why ? because i stood up to her . As you know ive posted before about 2 nurses who make my life a misery , one is a staff nurse , the other a sister. Well yesterday they both had a go at me at different times and i fought back. The sister while putting me on managed to raise my diastolic from 78 to 126 ..with her little jibes at me. As you know im undergoing tests for COPD and this bad cough and putting my chair right back makes me cough even more ...but oh no according to her i was coughing before the chair went back . Yes i was but that doesnt mean it doesnt get a whole lot worse when you have me nearly upside down ! She then commented it didnt matter anyway as i would soon have it back to fall asleep..i have never ever slept through a session in my life and told her i didnt sleep on dialysis..to which she replied oh yes you do ive seen you asleep lots of times and so it went on till she she had the last word. I also asked her if any of my test results for my breathing where back ..no she said , so then i asked did she know when i was due to see the neph (so i could get them) no she said and walked off.  Anyway at 3pm she went home leaving me in peace or so i thought, with the usual staff.
Getting to the end of my session 40 mins left to do and i start throwing up like crazy , my BVM dropped to 84 and a steel band round my head. One of the kinder junior nurses said i will go and get this other nurse (that bullies me) to take you off. I told her not to bother as there was no way she would do , but she said it wasnt doing me any good and for the sake of half an hour and a BVM of now 83 it would be best.
Well this bully nurse came storming over and said ,you still have half an hour to do and its no wonder you are ill if you come off early and i wouldnt care but you have just asked Sister if you can see the neph as you are not feeling very well ..WTF?  I saw red, this is not the first time im 'supposed' to have said something to this sister , then this other nurse has told me ive said it . I was livid. I said that i had said nothing of the sort ..i WANTED my test results and i was as much as called a liar again. So i told her i was so sick and tired of her and the other sister doing this , constantly in my face with their sarky comments and i wasnt taking any more. So then she exploded back at me saying i should be greatful to have the use of a machine , i was rude , aggresive and abusive. It was her job to tell me what to do , what to eat, what to drink, to which i replied ,IM a grown woman i decide not you. I said i was sick of being accused of being called a liar and i wasnt being bullied anymore. I told her i hated my sessions when those 2 were on and i had none of this with the other staff, to which she then said to the other 3 nurses on duty ..youve all heard this ..you will back me up on this. they all just looked at the floor embarrassed . She said im not being spoken to like this , im going to document all this and throw you off the unit. To which i said , you can write it in big red letters for all i care. The trouble is you dont like me because i speak my mind , not like the rest of the sheep in here , they all call you behind your backs but no one will tell you to your face. To which she said ,well you can go somewhere else for dialysis , im throwing you off the unit and walked off. I still had 25 mins to go , my head was in agony , i was still being sick and i shouted across the room , at least have the decency if you are going to keep me fastened to this machine to turn my UF off or i will do it myself , no she didnt. So i did (luckily for me) So when my time was up i was taken off in silence , i left the unit in silence and now i dont know whats happening tomorrow when im due for dialysis as no one has contacted me.
Time and time again these 2 have set upon me , with the most ridiculous ideas. The sister has said everything from i live on pizza's , i think i ate my last pizza about 3 years ago ! To the size of my handbag i brought in , to when my pd exit site was healing up ..lift your stomach up out of the way ,and believe me im not huge or obese and im a dammed site slimmer than her ! The other one has more or less said i dont take my tablets , she doesnt believe i do... So thats it really ..what i do tomorrow i dont know? Everyone in the room heard ..will anyone back me up ? What do you think? I think my chances are slim to nothing dont you ? All i can do is see what happens tomorrow and let you know where i end up when someone contacts me .

[BigSky]

Not sure how it works over there. 

Here its a hospital unit.

One would file a complaint with the hospital itself and the USRD network over any abuses.

[Darthvadar]

Hi KS...

Oh boy!... What a PITA!!!!.... (Hugs)....

Does the hosp. have a Patient Liason Officer or a Renal Social Worker???... They could be a good point of call.....

I'd say someone will ring you soon.... Your Neph. is bound to have been informed!...

Hope it all works out for you.....

God bless....

Darth....

[paris]

I don't even know what to say.  Unbelievable.  These nurses have jobs because of us!  When did she become the Queen?!  It makes me furious.   I had a stupid nurse at the transplant center tear into me because I casually brushed off pain.  "We take pain seriously here!!"  Hello-- I am the patient. You are the one working 40 hours and getting a paycheck.  I did have another nurse overhear and she gave me a complaint form to fill out.  Nothing compared to your situation, but I don't understand their mighty attitude.     I am so sorry it has come to this.  How can she sleep at night knowing she has put your health in great jeapardy?   I'll be waiting to hear what they suggest you do.   

[jbeany]

 
I'd buy a tape recorder or a video camera and record each and every run from now on.  Let's see how well they act on tape!

[jamoman]

i`m not so sure she has authority to ban you, sure she can write a report but you can also write a complaint about the both of them. i really don`t know how it works over there.

[sullidog]

I don't know how it works over there but I just want to say good for you for standing up for yourself and I wish you the best of luck. Maybe get a lawyer if ya have to.
Troy

[RichardMEL]

this is a really difficult situation and if the other nurses will back her up (which they probably will, despite what the might personally think) you could be in trouble. They can just mark you as non compliant and abusiv etc, and that's very difficult to get that sort of smear off your reputation(sadly). Are there other D options nearby that could work for you? I seem to recall you writing about another unit nearby but it was worse(?!!) than the one you've been in?

I simply do not understand if your KVM was so low (83/84) why they did NOT turn off your UF as a matter of course so you could refill, which you clearly were not doing(sounds like you are too dry already). I mean my guys would do that in an instant if I ever got that low. It seems that some of those nurses there simply don't understand BVM and what it means - and that's dangerous for all patients. Even if they think you're rude, agressive etc they should do that as a matter of course because you are a PATIENT (and you were requesting it - not an unreasonable request in my book!).

Finally though I have to say from what you have written you didn't do yourself any favours by continuing to challenge them and say what you said you only gave the ones that apparently don't like you more ammunition. If someone just walked into that unit and witnessed you yelling that stuff at them across the unit I think they would draw their on conclusions about you. Please try not to take this as criticism of you or that you shouldn't stand up for yourself, but I there's also a time and a place and a better way to do these things, like via your neph, or unit administrator when you're NOT sick, in agony etc on the chair at the whim of the nurses - because you're in a situation where you're cornerned and that's very difficult for all of us. I bet some nurses down here would have called a "code grey" on you (!)

As for what to do. Well it's nighttime there so I guess it's too late, but *I* would have called the unit the day before I was due for my next session and enquired, politely, if I was still expected for my next session and if not, what arrangements had been made for me to dialyise next (they have a duty of care - even if they "throw you out" they need to ensure you have a place somewhere else because it's life support).

Finally whatever happens from here I think you need to do your best at all times to try and remain calm when dealing with these people. Yes I know that's nigh on impossible but if you come across as shouting, ranting, agressive etc that is NOT going to help your case with anyone, specially an impartial(hopefully) witness or someone trying to assess what is going on. If you can try and stay civil and reasonable it will give any reasoned arguments a better chance of success in my view. Also some proof would help, like recordings etc.

I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this stuff constantly and hope you haven't really been thrown out.

[KICKSTART]

Thanks everyone ..no word yet!
RM , i get what you say but I wasnt the only one doing the shouting ! believe me the nurse was far stroppier and far louder than me ! and im sorry regardless of who thinks what , i wont take that kind of bullying , i wouldnt take it in a day to day situation , so why just because im on the unit should i restrain myself? It seems that nurse can say what she wants ,when she wants. If she wants respect , then treat me with respect , thats all i ask . Treat me like S**T and im going to give it right back to you , nurse unit ,whatever , it shouldnt make a difference where i am.

[Poppylicious]

Wow.  Regardless of whether or not you were in the wrong the nurse was completely lacking in professionalism if she argued with you in such a manner.  I'm inclined to believe that you won't have been thrown out (they have a duty of care after all, plus if it was truly that bad she would have called for security/back-up) and that you're hopefully there now, all hooked up.

If you feel that there is an issue only with these two particular nurses, could you keep a record of what happens?  Buy a pretty notebook and a nice pen and take it with you to every dialysis session.  Make a note every time you request something, of what you request, who you make the request of, the time/date, and what their response is.  If nothing else it will, a) give you something to do, b) make them wonder what you're up to (tell them you've decided to write a book), and c) possibly help you to get the frustration out of your system (you could use it like a diary).

If you really feel that you're being bullied then you need to get in touch with PALs, surely?  A written record such as the above would help with a bullying case.

*huggles*

[cdwbrooklyn]

Kickoff, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this.  Weather you are wrong or right, the nurses are not there to make your situation worse.   I would put an end to this foolishness.  Not sure how it works where you are and do know that people, especially dialysis patients deserve to be treated with respect.   I know there are two sides to very story.   However, you should talk to the administrator and see if you can have a sit down discussion with the two nurses present.   Let the unit know that these nurses are causing your bp to get higher by the way they chose to respond to you.   They are not to do anything against your will.   If you don't want to lie back, you don't have to.  If you want the UF off, it's their job to turn it off.   If you wanted to come off the machine early, it's their job to take you off.  NO QUESTIONS ASKED.   The only thing they can do is give you a sheet to sign. Other than that, you are entitled to request whatever you want. 

Also, as far as the nurse kicking you out the unit, only if she had that power.  You would have to have attacked her before you are no longer allowed in the unit.   

Please be sure to report this issue to the administrator so he/she can sit down with these two nurses and stop this foolishness once and for all. 

Nonsense!!! 

[RichardMEL]

I do agree with Poppy - note down occurances and nature of disagreements/fights/bullying/whatever in a notebook - this can only strengthen your caseif you take it to administration higher up the chain. Just saying "that nurse bullies me" won't carry much unless you can demonstrate via documented entries that it happened - that would definitely lead creedence to your side of things.

[KICKSTART]

Well no one rang me yesterday , so i rang the main unit and said ..could you tell me where to go today please as i was kicked off my unit by a staff nurse. The sister said , nothing had been passed to her and if that was the case then she would have been told , so hang on while she rang my unit. Anyway to cut a long story short , the brilliant sister from my unit rang me and thought i wasnt in because i was running late ! Yes she was aware of an 'incident' but to go in and we could chat while i was getting my treatment. So i went in and everything was fine , yes the nurse put in a complaint , that i was aggressive, abusive and anything else she could think of , to which the sister told me that she said, well thats not the person i know , she has never been like that with anyone here! She also told me that a number of staff had backed me up by giving their accounts of what happened and that it wasnt me that started this whole shouting match! Yay good for them ! I also brought up several other points that that nurse had failed to bring up , like refusing to take me off , not turning my UF off with a BVM of around 83/84. Now it seems its not me who is for the high jump ! Of course i wont know the outcome but i wish i could be a fly on the wall !  Oh and for the future ive bought a pocket recorder ..if only to cover myself 

[Darthvadar]

Yippie!!!!!!....

That's fantastic news, KS.... Delighted to hear that the so called 'healthcare professional' didn't have it all her own way!!!!!....

Let us know what the outcome is...

Well done!... And yes, the tape recorder's a great idea... Removes the element of "He said that she said that they said that I said"....

Love to the Pawed People!....

Love...

Darth....

[Bajanne]

Only now reading this thread.  As I was reading the account, the first thing I said was - 'Kickstart needs Kitkatz!'   Then I realised that you did well on your own!
Very glad how things turned out!

[monrein]

Whew!  Glad to read this.

[paris]

Good for you Kickstart!  I am thrilled that you are believed and backed by other patients.  Maybe (fingers crossed) things will get better in the unit.  You are one strong lady   

[Poppylicious]

Yay!  That's fabulous KS.  It's just a shame you spent a night worrying about nothing.  It's nice that some of the staff backed you up too ... this woman must be a complete nightmare for that to happen; they do like to stick together usually, eh?! 

 

[MooseMom]

Well done you!  hahahahahahaha!  Bloody brilliant!

[Stoday]

KS your life is like a roller coaster. Up today and down tomorrow. You're making me dizzy!

[jbeany]

Oh, yeah, sooooo pressing the Record button every time the witch gets near you!

[natnnnat]

Pocket recorder good, also maybe take notes about your sessions, if you can be bothered.   

[RichardMEL]

KS! That is fantastic that the other nurses backed YOU up - I admit surprise there, but happy surprise. Hoping things continue to support you during these difficult times. Also good move on the recorder!!

[Quickfeet]

  I thought the sister was actually her sister.

[carla13]

KS,
What a horrible thing to happen.It's awful when there is a problem with staff. A similar thing happened to me last year. I won't go into detail but it ended with me having a meeting with the head doc of the department and things were swiftly (and politely) sorted out.

If you have any more problems go through the PALS (patient advice and liaison services) system pals.nhs.uk which is what I did, They're understanding and helpful.

Hope this is the last time you have to deal with anything like this, we have to deal with enough, without having to cope with this kind of c**p too!

Good luck!
xx
carla
xx