Hubby getting grossed out about treatments

[Malibu]

HI guys.  MM has begun to be 'grossed out' is the only way I can put it.  We skipped treatment yesterday (and did today instead) because of it.  He just does not want to do dialysis anymore.  He is but he really doesn't want to.  He gets so worked up and worried about sticking himself...and then the needles sitting in his arm...and then the de-sticking (removal of needles).  What happened to freak him out is he had 2 arm filling up with fluid episodes in a row.....you might remember that I posted about them.  I think that was at the end of January.  Well then a couple weeks after that he thought he had clotted, was walking around and noticed blood on his hand.  Then he saw it -- there was blood everywhere!  It has squirted all over the wall, floor, chair....everywhere.  Well that totally freaked him out.  Then last week the needles slipped out a very little bit of fluid got into his arm but he noticed it right away and fixed it.  Now he is afraid every time we start treatment that we are going to somehow be out of the graft and he will start filling up his arm with fluid.  He keeps his hands on one of the venous clamps, and I mean he has a death grip and glar on it until he is certain his arm is not filling with fluid. 

I am very worried.  I've tried talking to him about it but he just says he cannot talk about it because he is so grossed out.  Oh, and stuff on TV is grossing him out.....there was a show on about a man who was attacked by a bear, his leg was all torn up.  That would never gross him out before but now it is.  I feel that he needs to get over this ASAP before it festers and he is unable to stick himself.

I have yet to stick him.  We were just about to work on it when he started having trouble and there is no way now he will let me 'learn and experiment' on his arm.  :O) 

Advice?  Thanks much!

[jbeany]

I spent the first month in center nearly fainting every time I got stuck, or had needles pulled.  My techs were very patient, and time eventually cured it.  You can, if needed get used to anything, I guess.  The only thing I can suggest is patience.  Ask him if there is anything you can do to make it better.  As he has more successful runs, though, he should start to relax.

[RichardMEL]

phew that's a hard one. Maybe he needs to go in center in the short term to get his treatments happening - and perhaps he won't be so worried if someone else sticks him (and if something happens there is the staffto deal with it). What is important is that he doesn't miss any more dialysis because that will REALLY impact on him.

I understand totally not wanting to do it anymore. Hell I don't.. but somehow I like my life and the people in it too much to not do it. Try and help him to focus on the positives if possible.

[monrein]

Would a mild anti-anxiety med be helpful at all?  I too wonder if perhaps some time in center, with the thinking that he would do his needles but staff would be there to talk him through his worry and even take them over if he can't get over this hurdle.  This is very tough on you both and you're right to worry that his fear could become even greater.  Would he talk to a social worker or therapist, if the one you've got is any good?

Reassurance and successful sticks are what he needs but this is difficult when fears and lack of confidence become overwhelming.  I hope you can get some help from the team that trained you to deal with this.

[Malibu]

He hasn't missed any treatments...he is doing them but the anxiety is awful.  He requests a scotch but I don't like that.  At all.

The sedative might be a good idea but isn't that the same as what a scotch would do?  I don't know.

I think you are right monrein...good sticks and reassurance and that is what we are doing 5 days a week.  I don't know if he would talk to the social worker about it, I doubt it.  I could email her behind his back but he would really be pissed at me if I did that.  I can no longer to go clinic visits with him because of my job. 

I will suggest the sedative and meanwhile I will encourage him, tell him he did a great job etc.

[Wallyz]

Give him the scotch. It's coming right out again as soon as the  machine starts running.

Dialysis can be traumatic.  Trauma amplifies mental health issues, small fears become paralyzing phobias, feeling blue becomes major clinical depression.
I would talk to him about both of you seeing a counselor or psychologist.  That's a hard conversation to have, but it is really valuable in dealing with these issues.

I also knew a woman who went to a hypnotherapist to get over her fear of sticking herself. It worked.