A sister's agonizing decision to donate kidney

A sister's agonizing decision to donate kidney
Two of Mollie Walsh's siblings needed new kidneys, but she could only help one
By Stephen T. Watson
News Staff Reporter
Updated: January 10, 2010, 11:17 AM /

Mollie Walsh had to make a heart-wrenching choice last year, a decision no one would want to face.

Two of her adult siblings suffered from kidney failure, both enduring energy-draining dialysis sessions as they waited for a kidney that could give them a new lease on life.

But Walsh could only help one of them.

She finally gave one of her kidneys to her critically ill brother, who had lost both lower legs and part of the fingers on one hand to the ravages of renal disease.

His health and his spirits have rebounded.

Her older sister still waits for a new kidney.

"It was a tough decision. It was so hard," said Walsh, a busy mother of five who works two part-time jobs.

This is the story of the Bohen family, a South Buffalo clan of 10 brothers and sisters, bound by their sense of family and their Catholic faith.

It is a personal story shared reluctantly by the Bohens, who talked because they want to inspire others to donate a kidney or other badly needed organ.

"When Mollie told me that she was going to do this, and when she did it, I was never so proud of anyone as I was of Molls," said Terry Dunford, who grew up two houses away from the Bohens and has been one of Walsh's best friends since they were 2. "She gave up a part of herself because of her love of her brother."

Many people are reluctant to consider donating an organ, even after death, for various personal and religious reasons.

But the need for kidneys is great, as the Bohens know.

Tim Bohen, who had lived with diabetes and hypertension, started dialysis in early 2007 after suffering kidney failure about one year after his oldest sister, Mary Ann Corbett.

A retired postal worker who lives in Hamburg, Bohen had his right leg amputated below the knee at the same time.

Then, as a side effect of the dialysis, the circulation to his right hand was compromised, and he lost part of four of those fingers.

Walsh and Tim Bohen, 60, talk nearly every day. When Bohen stopped returning Walsh's calls in the summer of 2008, she knew something was wrong.

Walsh, a mother and wife who works at Mount Mercy Academy and the Gap, was worried about her brother's health and the toll the dialysis and the kidney disease were taking on him.

Bohen also had had double-bypass heart surgery to treat his cardiac disease.

The end of the line

Five people, including Bohen's two sons, had been tested to see if they could donate a kidney, but none was a match.

"I think my sister thought, "He's at the end of the line.' My first concern was for Mollie. She's got five children," Bohen said.

Walsh felt strongly that she needed to get tested to see if she could donate a kidney to her brother, because he was so sick.

"I called him and I said, "I'm going to get tested. Maybe if I'm not a match for you, I'll be a match for Mary Ann," she said.

The decision was agonizing for Walsh, and when she found out that she would be able to donate a kidney to Bohen, she asked her brother to break the news to their sister, Mary Ann.

"We've always been very close. I think it's been difficult for her," Bohen said, referring to his oldest sister, who politely declined an interview request.

Before the surgery, Bohen had his left leg amputated below the knee, because an ulcer on the foot wouldn't heal.

Walsh said the immediate recovery from the kidney transplant surgery last May involved some pain, but a small scar is her only permanent reminder.

Bohen is Walsh's godfather, 13 years older, and he filled a paternal role after their father died when Walsh was 19. But the transplant understandably has bound them even tighter.

Bohen, who now can move around quite well on two computerized prosthetic legs and a cane, makes dinner once a week to take to Walsh's family.

"I tell her, "Mollie, I can never thank you enough for what you did,' " Bohen said.

For Walsh, the reward was seeing the smile on Bohen's face the first time the pair saw each other in Buffalo General Hospital after the transplant.

"I just love him so much. I do. He knows I love him," Walsh said, gently placing her arm around her brother's shoulder. "I love him and I wanted him to live. I couldn't imagine him not in my life."

While transplant centers such as Buffalo General and ECMC are seeing more kidney donations from nonrelatives, most still come from family members, surgeons said.

Just over 14,000 kidney transplants — with 5,240 provided by living donors — were performed in the United States in 2008, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reported.

But 32,586 people were added to the kidney waiting list that year, and 4,587 people died while waiting on the list.

The need for kidneys remains great, transplant surgeons and kidney recipients said. As of the first of this year, 83,166 Americans were on a kidney waiting list.

Potential donors undergo a battery of tests to ensure the recipient's body will accept the kidney and to make sure they understand the procedure's medical and psychological implications.

A testament to family
Dunford has another personal connection to organ donation. Dunford's nephew, Jason Shell, last year gave a kidney to Jason's sister, Kelly.

"What a testament to our values, to our families," Dunford said. "This is what family is about — you take care of each other."

Kelly Shell has struggled with severe health problems for years, since she was diagnosed with lupus nephritis, a kidney disorder, at 19.

Two years ago, after tests showed the lupus had spread to her heart and lungs, and caused complete kidney failure, Kelly Shell started dialysis and went on a kidney waiting list.

"She was so bad, we were talking about hospice and end of life" care, said her brother, who lives downtown and works for the Buffalo Sewer Authority.

Shell had offered to donate a kidney to his sister two years ago, but she was too sick to endure the procedure.

Last summer, the lupus went into remission following aggressive treatment, but the dialysis that kept Kelly Shell alive was failing because of blood clotting, Jason Shell said.

"It was growing into a situation where they were running out of options," he said.

Jason Shell had to see if he could donate a kidney to his only sibling. Tests showed he was a match, and he agreed to go through with the surgery, performed last October in San Antonio, where Kelly Shell lives.

Kelly Shell continues to cope with an array of health issues, but her brother can hear the improvement in her voice.

The siblings joke about the donation now, with Jason Shell dubbing the donated kidney "Mia," for "Missing In Action," and addressing letters and e-mails to both "Kelly and Mia."

"I could never do anything for her, and it killed me," he said. "Now, the opportunity to help in such a significant way — it was a blessing."

Ethical, medical issues

Removing a kidney from a living donor raises many ethical and medical issues.

"The issue of donation is a very sensitive issue," said Dr. Mark Laftavi, chief of transplant services for Kaleida Health and the University at Buffalo School of Medicine, who performed the surgery on Bohen. "It is the only time the surgeon operates on a completely healthy person."

Christine Scott has seen both sides of the donation equation.

She is employed at Upstate New York Transplant Services. And she received a kidney, donated by her mother, Vickie Michalowski, after Scott's kidneys stopped functioning while she was pregnant with her second son, Jacob Wesley.

"I went on dialysis to try to save our lives," said Scott, who described the treatment regimen as "a horrible way to live."

But the dialysis wasn't enough to save Jacob, who was delivered stillborn on May 27, 2000.

"On Sept. 19, 2000, which was Jacob's original due date, my mom gave me a new kidney," Scott said. "My mom is my hero, because she gave me that second chance on life."

Her mother, now 63, is doing well, Scott said, and transplant surgeons said the loss of a kidney typically doesn't impact the health of donors over the rest of their lives.

Both Walsh and Shell urge anyone who is healthy enough to donate a kidney to do so, because there are so many people waiting for kidneys, including Mary Ann Corbett.

Walsh wishes she could do more to help her ailing sister.

"If I had another kidney to give, I would give it to my sister Mary Ann. I would," Walsh said.

swatson@buffnews.com

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