I received this email today from a friend. Very funny, especially the P.S. part.
Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young,
thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:
THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?
A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not
match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the
question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern:
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions,
curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and
have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins
stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing
wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of
Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.
They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than
humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the
world.
Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining
up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity
crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill
men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex?
Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get
close to a girl who smells like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.
P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea
that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice
cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a
coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate
so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more
room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy,
we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I
look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good gosh, look how smart I
am!
~Robert
I Hate Dialysis Message Board
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