"Giving a Kidney, and Giving Thanks"

"Giving a Kidney, and Giving Thanks"

By, Bob Horning: FAITH Publishing Service, Catholic Diocese of Lansing, Michigan.

Fr. Tom Helfrich ("Oblates of St. Francis de Sales")talks about himself as the priest with four kidneys. It's not that he collects them or anything like that. It's just that he needs a new one every so often to stay alive.
Because of that need, fellow priest Ken McKenna now only has one kidney. Both men feel good about it.
At age 12, long before he could even pronounce it, Helfrich developed glomerulonephritis, a disease in which the kidney filters become inflamed and scarred, slowly losing the ability to remove wastes from the blood while making urine. The kidneys, bean shaped and the size of a fist, also regulate electrolyte balance, and help with red blood cell production.
By 1989, Helfrich, then 40, needed his first kidney transplant. "My brither, Ron, with the same blood type, was a perfect tissue match," he says. "At the cost of an entire softball season, he gave me his kidney".
Both men fared well. Ron, 8 years younger than his brother, is married, has 3 children, and is as physically active as ever. Tom did fine until about 2003, when his kidney function began to deteriorate, apparently due to the medications for preventing organ rejection, not an uncommon occurance. In June 2005, he was told he would need another transplant.
Since being ordained in 1978, Fr. Tom has spent most of his priesthood as a high-school teacher and retreat coordinator, and serving in various roles at Camp De Sales, a family center in Brooklyn, Michigan. he also spent 8 years as the pastor of St. Mary of Good Counsel in Adrian, and now is campus minister at Sienna Heights University in Adrian.
"I grew up in a religious household, knowing it was a special call to be a priest," he says. The Oblates of St. Francis De Sales administered and taught at his school, St. Francis de Sales High School in Toledo, Ohio, and impressed him enough that he wanted to follow in their footsteps. "They were real men- down to earth accessible and happy," he recalls. "At my deepest core, I know I have been called to be a priest. It's where God wants me, where I am happiest and most effective."
Last summer, at the annual assembly of the Toledo-Detroit Province at camp De Sales, Fr. Tom gave an update on his medical condition, mentioning his need for a new kidney. He said if anyone had type A blood and was willing to be a donor, to let him know. He already had a few volunteers, but it was uncertain if they would be a good match.
Enter Fr. McKenna, the director of the camp, and of Holley Ear Institute (for the deaf) located on the grounds. Also born in Toledo, Fr. Ken's close-up view of the Oblates as a freshman in High School came unexpectedly. When his family home burned down, the Oblates invited him and his brother to live with them until their parents found a new home. "During those 3 weeks, I saw a side of them most students don't see," Mckenna said. "They were regular people, living a life together that was full of laughter." McKenna became involved with the deaf ministry while in seminary and, after ordination in 1985, served as the chaplain for the deaf in the Archdiocese of Detroit. He has been at Camp De Sales since 1994.
"I had heard about Fr. Tom's ministry over the years, and about how effective and popular he was," Fr. McKenna said. "But we didn't know each other well. When I learned of his situation, I was willing to be a donor, and I am A+, so I asked him what the next step would be for me.
"Having become nove-master for our Province and in charge of priest recruitment, I was aware not only of the need for new priests, but the need to keep healthy the ones that we have. I thought donating a kidney would be a small sacrifice if Tom could continue his ministry."
Fr. Ken was soon at U. of Michigan Hospital in Ann Arbor, where the operation would be performed, taking testa to make sure he would be a good match. He had a physical exam, then a psychological interview, designed to ensure that the donor is doing it for the right reasons.
Fr. Helfrich said he was "humbled that Ken would do this. It's not as though we were best friends. I was gratefully amazed."
Did mckenna have any fears about losing a kidney? "Not really," he said. "I knew Ton's brother, Ron, was living a normal life, and from my reading I knew that you can live just as well with one kidney as with two."
While in the preparation room for surgery, Fr. McKenna remembers being quite emotional. "There I was, surrounded by five or six people who were going to have various surgeries far more serious than mine. I was the only healthy one; the others couldn't be sure they would even survive their operations. Since my surgery was laporoscopic, only requiring two small incisions by the navel, the recovery was uncomfortable, mainly from the carbon dioxide gas that they pumped into me beforehand. But it wasn't painful." Fr, McKenna jokes that he used to drink a lot of soda pop, but doesn't feel like drinking it anymore.
The operation took place Jan. 12, 2006. Fr. Ken was out of the hospital 3 days later, and in two weeks was able to say Mass again, though he did need someone to drive him to Lansing for it.
Three months after the surgery, he could still say, "I'm doing great. I am not on medication, have no diet restrictions, and I don't expect to die of anything kidney related. The body adjusts. The remaining kidney gets a little larger and takes over the extra work."
Fr. Ken points out that the teaching of the Catholic/Christian tradition has always been to alleviate suffering, physical as well as spiritual. "That's why you see so many religious orders starting hospitals and so many Catholics involved in healing work."
The recovery for Fr. Tom has been slower. He knew what to expect, though - a 5-day hospital stay, out of work for 6 weeks, and then a long, gradual return to normalcy. After three months, he was doing 12 push-ups a day, on the way to his goal of 50.
"I feel very, very well," he says now. "I am incredibly blessed. Every day I say, 'Do I really deserve this? If I had been born 50 years earlier I would have died from my condition.' This is a great reminder that life is fragile, that we have nothing that is not a gift, and that we at all times ought to give thanks. Yet it is not just about regaining health, and enjoying hunting and fishing again, but God is saying, 'I still have a mission for you. Let's do it.'"
Helfrich's restored health has benefited both priests. For Fr. McKenna, it "reaffirms the wonder of life - that God made the body in such a way that it can live with one kidney. I am amazed that medical science has such an understanding of the body that physicians can perform this operation."
"It has also given me the opportunity to reflect on the end of life. My prayer immediately after surgery , when it is easier to imagine the decreased capacity that often comes at the end of life, was that I could be ready when the time comes to let go of what makes me happy, saying Mass, my work, my love of carpentry. I don't want to be so attached that I can't let go of it."
"I've never had surgery before, so an added bonus is that this will help me identify with the people I visit in the hospital."
Asked if he would do it again, Fr. Ken replies, "Absolutely. I have no regrets. I would recommend it to anyone. I don't know how many years Tom will get out of it, but I hope it can get him into his 70s." With a laugh, the expert in American Sign Language adds that "since Tom struggles a bit with learning sign language, he should be improving now."
Fr. Helfrich says that the two kidney operations haven't necessarily affected his relationship with God, "but it sure has with Ken and my brother. If either of them ever needs me, I will drop everything to help."
While McKenna acknowledges the appreciation of his friend, he smiles and says, "If he ever needs my second one, he probably won't find me so generous."