Has anybody else just about had it with Kidney Failure? (OK Dumb Question)

[zekewolfy]

Sorry folks just venting, This damned disease is a freaking curse. I can barely stand myself, nevermind what its doing to my poor wife. Brother I just want this misery to end.

Peace and Love,

Zeke

[goofynina]

You are definetly not alone there Zekewolfy, i curse it on a daily basis,  but yet, then again, i also praise it cuz i just think of the alternative,    i know that there is nothing i can do about it so i just live each day the best that i can and come here to remember i am not alone (which is the best thing for me at the moment)     I love IHD 

[Joe Paul]

Yep, sure does change your outlook. My hope is a transplant, if only to escape this disease for a while.

[MyssAnne]

You not only curse the condition, but the conditions that come BECAUSE of the failure as well. Machines not working right. Complications because of dialysis. Loss of favorite foods. The rants could go on. BUT. As Nina says, you hafta take each day and be grateful you ARE alive, and stronger because of it. The friends you have are your true friends. There are some subtle blessings to be found.  They just have to be searched for.

[bolta72]

It is tough but we must march on.

[thegrammalady]

every day above ground is a good day, if it is a machine that keeps me there, then so be it. as said before my daughter thinks i ignore the big gorilla in the corner of the room. however, as long as he cleans up his own mess, he has just as much right to be there as i do. the serenity prayer has as much to do with dialysis as it does with alcohol.   "God grant me the serenity
                                                                                to accept the things I cannot change;
                                                                                courage to change the things I can;
                                                                                 and WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE............".

[KT0930]

One of the blessings I've found is the ability to sympathize with other caregivers (I'm the patient). I went to a neighborhood party yesterday and met a woman whose husband has a plaque on his brain and has been affected psychologically and physically and has now lived three months longer than the doctors said he would. I knew what kinds of questions to ask her to get her to really open up and I knew to make sure she's taking care of herself. I learned all kinds of stuff about her, her life, and her grown kids. Yeah, kidney disease sucks, but if you look (REALLY hard), you can find the silver lining.

[paris]

Hi Zeke, I kind of feel like you do right now. Can I please just wake up and feel good again?  This is a joke, right?  I do hate complaining because there are people with such worse problems, but this is my problem and I hate it.  So, you aren't alone. Some days it is harder to deal with this than others.     On a different note, I am always drawn to your posts because of your name.  I think I posted once before that my grandson is also Zeke (Ezekiel) and I absolutely love the name.  Ezekiel means "God strengthens" and he was born right after 9/11, so him Mommy wanted him to have a name that gave hope to all around him.   And he does!   My Zeke gives me stength and makes me see life through a childs eyes and that is always a good thing.       Come here to talk. We all understand what you are going through and how you feel. And we care.

[Chicken Little]

Yep.  It stinks.  

Like the Type 1 Diabetes I've had for 25 years though, I'm extremely thankful that the medical challenges I face have treatments that allow me to wake up every morning.     

[Rerun]

Next time you feel bad.....Go to WalMart!  Good Lord where do they get those people!   I actually felt pretty good about myself after I went there today.  I buy yarn there....that is all just yarn. 

[angela515]

I used to feel like you, but I realize I am lucky for my supportive family, doctors and the fact that I have been given the opportunity twice now to live on a transplant and feel normal for awhile. So when my time comes again for dialysis, I am sure at first i'll feel down again, but my spirit will rise again with just the hope of a transplant or if that isn't possible just the love that surrounds me.

Rerun, I won't take no offense to that, as alot of stupid people work there, but then again, alot of stupid people work everywhere. However, my dad and one of my brother's work there and they are far far from stupid. 

[RichardMEL]

I think it is totally normal to go through these sorts of feelings. Some days I just think why bloody bother??? Other days I am motivated thinking about some indefinable future where I get a transplant that gives me some time - hopefully years - away from the machine and the diets and the FLUID RESTRICTION (argh!) and all that. Of course it's not a cure, but a successful transplant can bring us back a much more normal way of living and that is the goal for me for now. I think about how I might hopefully be able to travel around the world again.. see much missed friends.. and have the energy to enjoy it all! Oh and in between those times I have my cat who keeps me sane and reminds me sometimes the simple pleasures in life are the best

[jbeany]

Zeke, we hear and we understand!  I've had days when the "Why am I doing this?" gremlins creep in and take over my thoughts, too.  I find it helpful to nuke 'em in the microwave. . .

[fluffy]

i havent been able to shake the "why bother" feeling for the past 6 months. and nothing seems to help

[Ang]

i  only  ever  had  the  why  me  episode  once  for  5  minutes  about  a  decade  ago,  now  my  sole  purpose  is  to  get  a  transplant,be  a  good  dad and  wife and  screw  the  rest.
yes  i  have  my  good  and  bad  days  like  all of  us,  then  i  think  about  the  bigger  picture  and   get  back  on  track  with  little  fuss.